how does it feel to live a life of no end. the mind crosses time-lines trying to figure a rhythm to settle down. the earth becomes borderless, full of fantastic exploits and the heart yearns for wanderlust. earths' conquerors living and dying only to be reborn at the end of each destination. from fog covered valleys and colonial highways to mile long trains. pockets of humanity cuddled searching for the warmth of life and solitude of an overnight dream. bubbles of human emotion, of songs playing in dreams, the magic of not knowing their names but the names of the eyes. memories of opposite meridians fade away in half decades of life before we walk again to fulfill a new age of discovery. the universe begins again for everyone when you stop at some moment and felt you have forgotten that lonely path that you are gazing into, maybe its a new world. maybe you haven't visited it yet.
thinking about getting old, about people around you getting old and death bring so much grief. age does not seem to stop, its as relentless as time. days get older, scapes get older, everything dies. even memories become obsolete. the age is too fast. yesterdays are forgotten in an instance. in any relative transformation to the future, there are no more past to remember. its irrelevant. the wish for a circle of life, the cycle does not exist anymore. atleast not in our lifetime.
how would it be, if we live to a hundred years old and then age backwards. the perfect circle. living all times past and future. and returning to progeny. now that too will be filled with sorrow. as we see death have erased everything for you to feel nostalgic. for aging backwards is the same as getting old. as we walk back we dont find anyone relating to us anymore. the paths have already diverged, the memories converged into the singularity. everything seems to have become redundant.
i think lfc is finally dead and buried. they're taking 1 step front and back another decade. there is no team there, no control and no motivation. torres wants out of this mess, it so obvious from his performance. reina will definitely be out by the end of the season, god forbid man u buys him. liverpool needs a divine intervention. roy will be out by the weekend. or at-least after the fa cup tie with man u. a new coach must discard all the fringe players and build a new team. salvage the season, atleast finish within the uefa cup positions. and pray hard. liverpool will be in bottom three very soon if any of this doesnt happen. i hope im wrong on this.
the sleepless nights bug me. i wish to wake up in different cities all the time. so many challenges are fought and won during nights. jumping timezones, satisfying herds of information mongers. i wish to wake up to where they are, living multiple existences. projecting the soul wherever its needed. bridging dimensional gaps, waking up to you. in different turns and twists, of highways and mountain roads, flying in dreams of dark memories. i wish for endless nights.
long ago, through some very unfortunate events i learned that loosing trust would have big implications on my future life. once gone, its gone forever. im still suffering. but i have no regret over it anymore. the pain becomes numb after a while. and i try my best not to repeat the same situation surrounding this events. last year, because of some lapse i had to break this trust again to some very bad consequences. the lost of effort and time. and this year karma served it back to me. i didn't want to connect this, but the circumstances are clear. whats more unbelievable is the lie that was told. some people are so stupid to think i cant see through them. there are some basic ground rules when giving reasons, first of which is not to implicate another person. a deal with a client is a one to one deal. throwing pity on some other person is really really degrading and dishonest. secondly, lie consistently. coz one small slip and your out in the open. check back your facts and rethin…
this one place i keep returning to. my first sojourn was in 2001, it seemed so far away then riding my bike here. tanjung dawai is where i managed to capture some of the most beautiful of sunsets. among the people meet in your journey through life, there are places more human and rooted to earth. when you find them, you seem complete. and you go on to find more. and more. like a treasure hunt for pieces to complete a jigsaw puzzle in this great tapestry of life. it ends at a beautiful place at the far end of the earth...
part of my 365 photos for 2011 project; album here [365 in 2011]
on an unplanned long drive yesterday, memories of death came to mind. from the vast landscapes of mountains and unending skies, all that crossed my mind was of death and the faces of haunting souls foraging roadsides and decaying forests. memory seem to remember each history that painted this roads. the pouring rain washed away much of civilization and the mesmerizing sea of fog brought to life ancient cities from rewritten histories. much was lost.
wishing everyone a happy and good beginning to the new year. dont loose hope of humanity, there is so much to do, so much to learn, there is still time for us to change things. the human spirit prevails in the face of disaster, politics and hatred. live a life that is clutter free, a less confusing year, a year we appreciate everything we have more that what we might or will get in the future.
2010 has been a great year work wise, something I was worried would burst at the start of 2010, but somehow things worked out well. the negativity in rushing forward too fast, balanced well with determination to keep everything in control. My wish for 2011, is to judge less, for each future is written by their beholder. but to write a future that does not originate from us, then that is work, and it is someone else's future and that is where our trust and determination should be. being in a job line that at most times means scrutinizing the works of others, and at the same time wishing our ow…