i kinda have figured out why im being groggy and angry for the past few weeks. i haven't been going out much. i haven't actually seen a proper sunrise or sunset for so long (the only one was during the drive to the engagement). been literally working from midnight to midnight and sleeping at the wrong hours. just a couple minutes watching the evening sky yesterday cleared the much saturated mind.
there is definitely a deeper connection towards the sun than simply the rays. maybe we are indeed part of a bigger, grander tapestry than the religious foraging of documents and acknowledgement machine we have become.
in a couple a years when i analyze is all this insane work worth it, ill come back to this post.