Wednesday, December 30

phases of time, decaying decades

there are many things interesting about evenings. sunsets touching the horizon and disappearing. providing beautiful perspectives laced with majestic colors. memories of photos, of revelry and sleeping. camping deep in the jungles, mountain scapes expanding all the way till tomorrow.

life taking a laid back course, winding down the road through valleys from emerging villages to bustling cities. yet the sun stays the same. evenings however, have changed phases. our lives have adapted to time shifts, we dont experience the same evenings as before. reading a book, walk to the dorm after class, running on infinity beaches. love. life aging in all directions, as mesmerizing sunrays paint the still skies long after the sun leaves our minds.

decades decay into memories, the mind tomorrow opens for younger days.

//we were young, I

Monday, December 28

avatar, and some

for a movie as epic as this, failure to look away from its smaller moments causes bad reviews and uncalled for critical analysis. for the rest of us, we do see the bigger picture and we do enjoy good movies like this. we are enjoying a culture that defines human life.

it takes alot of guts for directors such as cameron, nolan or tarantino to move away from what traditional movie making is all about. if hollywood had a formula, similar to what some claim of indian movies, then that formula is reinvented every-year. these directors do not share the same philosophy, but they do stand by their creations. they dont have to be democratic. they are not the new steven spielberg or what has become of him.

moviegoers today are looking for a simple non-attached viewing experience. they do not want to be chained, they dont need to be forced to regret. they hope for an event in their life. they would want to watch a movie that can be a part of their life, just as the 2 hours spent in the theater is also a part of their life.

go watch good movies, its easy to know which :) go watch movies of your favorite actors, directors. dont read reviews even if its a 140 word twitter review.

Monday, December 21

Thursday, December 17

endurance, legacy

make it your mission to help the confused and lost souls. you have the ability to pass your wisdom and maturity to bring up such souls. they have huge capabilities. don't see them fail. if your heart tells you its the right thing, spend a little time and show some doors to them. tell them of the opportunity. give them the benefit of a doubt. you get to learn from them too. help them make some choices, listen to them. create some clarity, break away their confusion. its a dark, depressing cloud that suffocates them of life.

the soul is all about endurance. you have came this far because you have endured and lived your cause. the path is long, tomorrow is new day. a clean slate for ideas, passion and action. don't limit your life because someone asked you to live for yourself. there is a moral demand in you to help others achieve their dream. this is not a strangling demand stripping you off your choice of life. this is the moral rights of being human. you grow up watching your circle expand, and you gain wisdom being creators along your path of endurance.

when the time comes, you will know who to help and how to help. your view of life and how you build your days will ensure you see the ones who needs a hand.

leave a legacy. don't live for anything less than that.


i kinda have figured out why im being groggy and angry for the past few weeks. i haven't been going out much. i haven't actually seen a proper sunrise or sunset for so long (the only one was during the drive to the engagement). been literally working from midnight to midnight and sleeping at the wrong hours. just a couple minutes watching the evening sky yesterday cleared the much saturated mind.

there is definitely a deeper connection towards the sun than simply the rays. maybe we are indeed part of a bigger, grander tapestry than the religious foraging of documents and acknowledgement machine we have become.

in a couple a years when i analyze is all this insane work worth it, ill come back to this post.

Friday, December 11


rain awakens the most beautiful memories. walking under the tragically beautiful heavens. star systems untouchable, the aspirations of man dying prematurely not even crossing the graveyards surrounding our planets. and yet we are bathed in glass spheres from such magical flow of water.

rain was a time when, locked away in the many rooms across eons, i gazed through tiny holes in the walls hoping someday it will open for me to feel and walk in the mesmerizing new streams flowing in ether. from those tears reflected a lifetime, of watching you engrossed with fog, speckles of sun ray and decaying leaves deep in the forest where rain formed spectacular memories. we were prisoners of idealism, building utopia that in itself is imperfect when caressed by the rain.

i don't remember much of the bonfire we shared under the same stars we strewn across continents of life. there was the phone calls, the only connection for you to share the cold drizzles from my frame, droplets from sanctuary trees with its leaves forming fragile shelters. raindrop floating free in the vacuum of earth falling slower than the time you feel. your gaze towards me empty and disappearing into the fog. i was invisible to you. forces held together the melting rivers of time flowing around us yet not connecting. holding this world together rain was just never ending.

the one time i climbed into a droplet, floating up and eventually captured by wind currents hopping from clouds to the stratosphere. i found pockets of architectural wonder, of rain biomes within shelter leaves on many giant trees. edge cities float across the atmosphere each learning to capture the first drops of rain.

//rain. Such mystery.

in being you, me

paths are confusing, the ripples of the previous moment running through my mind. its actually an observation that fails to satisfy the urge of time. sometimes we feel that we are standing outside our mind and observing events unravel. broken gazes, shattered connections from teary eyes. the feeling of deep sorrow, and days and days of reflection which turns into compassion for people we would never meet again. broken timelines long our journey.

our journey through life are along mirror walled paths. however we want to be the observer in turn we are observing ourselves. not the thought projecting to be the actions of others, but just the others living our lives. and us of their life and times. during some fractions of the flow, time bends and entangles our walk and weakens our focus. there we are made to choose a new path. we wish for enduring spirit at those times, we wish for familiar faces and most importantly we wish for guidance.

believing in your spirit will guide you through the new paths. there will be momentary lapses, a broken wing and great falls. we walk on. enduring the winter, through all the seasons of time. these are stories i write for myself, for future times.

december, december

still buried in, reading all my past december posts. amazing stuff. i guess december and september will always be my favorite months. september has always been about the beginning of everything. i have always kept the important decisions to be made and walked in this month. important events, junctures faced, journeys started and ended in september. i was born in september.

december in the other hand is a magical. schools holidays are always the best in december. the greatest adventures in growing up happened then, the travels to faraway relative's, the hiking and camping with my school scouts troop and the eventual december breaks at universities that fast signaled my unwillingness to return home for holidays anymore. decembers was when the past crumbled slowly, making way to clean slates, to the stronger self.

december was also when love was found and lost.

Wednesday, December 9

this marriage season

im being extra careful of this marriage season (this Indian marriage season). a close friend of mine got married, and which ultimately bringing the number of unmarried dudes in my circle to less than 5. dangerous times. thats not even scary, but considering a couple of my cousins will be married in the coming year, im practically walking the plank above the sea of marriage oblivion here.

im just wondering how many more years i can keep escaping this dicey issue, claiming of 'some plan I have to be successful in life' or 'my ultimate mission is to save the world'. they didn't buy it the first time, they never will. impending doom.

Tuesday, December 8

crossing old bridges

i've been reading through my past posts in anticipation of reaching a milestone in the weeks to come. reading old posts brings back good memories and at the same time clearly defines the linguistic hurdles that we sometime work past in our writings. basically put, the english have improve tremendously, but the flow suffered. ideas seemed to be much more fluent before, and engaging.

the good thing about broken flow in today's posts is that we let the readers expand the ideas themselves. each sentence has the potential to spawn greater depth, spiral into greater complexity or just present the qualities needed to branch of new schools of thought.

Saturday, November 14


by definition// who are we? we are city jumpers. we live in the shadow worlds, in-between our yesterday and our today. and for months we roam the masses for emotions and relations wishing for minimalistic colors, of duo-tone clothes, and contemporary architecture. our cities are strewn with broken materials. leaking roofs, rubbish and fallen monuments. we are reverse engineering the future. we are seeing the past as we move forward. this is the year 2009.

new worlds, cities and beyond. an informal meeting of old friends, old stories, old cities, old ideas. so we were driving back in memories along the same path to reach this new city. that we left 20 years ago and imagining how it all would have changed. we find this new buildings and facades and cascading fountains and led lights and floating ad boards and nestled in all this electronics are those old streets and stores and restaurants and your barber shop. so he asked what does it all mean? is this really 2020?

defining moments, who we are. we are creators of this century old cities, and then we tweak and turn things to make the engines work churning out millions of new stories each day so that those new souls can remember what is the past while contributing just as we did to the future and all the while sitting along the seashores watching the waves hit and carry away tiny pebbles one by one. then finally one day the dream ends. we did not age, the cities crumble, the future just decays one particle at a time.

//finding meaning for the existence. part one.

Saturday, October 24

a return to (the) movies

the process of watching a movie is challenged tremendously when you are abnormally attracted to a single character, no matter if they're the main focus, or just the supporting cast. the process eventually gets too comfortable when you identify with a character. the medium and liberation of complexities of movie making, when translated into an art house minimalistic marvel is a beautiful product. wash away the colors of materials, construct light created architecture, render nights during day. focus on the face and eyes. play with music as if the music itself builds the image cells. movies are beautiful when made with the right ensemble of life.

[i loved Darren Aronofsky's PI]

Sunday, September 27

the beanstalk

the beanstalk, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.
many lessons in growing up, it offers
wishing for many more, for everyone else
another day, spent waiting for rain

Tuesday, September 22

rarity of reasons

daybreak. as we drove along the winding mountain road and the fog played for as long as we wished for. i tried to find connections for those moments, and the past i always loved to look and dream of. life strangles every last breath of history. many chapters have eroded into some heaven locked away with synapses severed.

the decline of reasons. i look back to find my mistakes. i could not solve it for it has happened. solving it would not absolve the future either.

finding reasons. so we were there sitting along the banks of the mighty river, in a distance the thundering fall echoes a deep yet melodious vibration. mingling with the lights of fireflies and sounds of fog brushing and caressing dew drops. around us meadows with blue flowers, and when morning comes it turns white. many reasons are always there, even before events unravel.

the rarity of reasons. for some moments in time we loose every causal link to the past and future. those moments bring no reason, it must have some but it doesn't have to be there. beautiful moments. during this moments of rarity, we just live freely, wandering and wondering about this big bold world. a beautiful colorful tapestry, during every morning and a cool night during every sunset. it comes and it leaves, leaving traces unsatisfactory. when the age ends, we scramble and scrape every existence out there to bring out the sight and sound and smell of lost memories to live it one more season.

seasons, rarity of reasons

Sunday, September 13

eternity shores

they sat there by the shores, looking up at the majestic nebula painted skies. life has led them wandering over many worlds, searching through time and many creations. colonies of humans set forth to every corner of the galaxy building new empires dreaming of everlasting civilizations. future histories written and for time eternity not shared among us, humans. life has found new shores, the heart remain lost. solitude cities bathed by ancient photons in many new solar systems, neon streets connecting pockets of hungry minds. great archeological discoveries litter the galactic museums, given prominence standing among earths greatest treasures. we still marvel this great universe, leaping from one insignificant time point to another. hungry and unsatisfied.

and the question remains, where are they, the ancient gods.

[strange symmetries]

Saturday, September 12

and sometimes

people fall for the same trick, again and again and again...
dont they know the punishment for blindly following the wrong truth is death? and the person using trust as a weapon will have to pay for it for eternity.

there is still one way to end all this. ask for forgiveness and we shall put all behind.

Tuesday, September 8

free fall

free fall, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

flowers are amazing in quantum moments

when they are least aware of their majestic beauty

[/+] do visit the whole gallery @flowers

Tuesday, September 1

to live

there were times when solutions came easy, but at moments like this I think the only way out is the way in-to the soul, to read, write and travel.

Sunday, August 30


after endless hours of trying hard not to get carried away and drawn into the awful criticisms by those close to me, i had to convince myself that i cant really see a direction in front of me. there have been countless times in the past years that i struggled hard to climb up from the rut, from stagnating in this rooms that whoever claims control over me built around me. there have been times and again that i cut off ties, cleaned up the mess and walked on, as always saying to myself that even the sky knows its limits, not the endurance we immerse our souls in.

i have drawn lines and paths and words in the darkness to show that there is a way for anything to happen and everything to be solved. i have been fortunate of all the love in life that everyone who understood me showed me. i have been in the kind eyes of them to see that i needed help, and they took me in to connect the lines to make sure i achieve the many things i aspire to do. i have tried and gave my best, and i am still lost. i cant stand the pain that even after a good many years of doing what i do, taking care, building character and living up to their standards, i am still pushed back like some burned match stick, whos' use are sometimes only witnessed by those who pick them up from the streets from random admiration. what more and what else can i do, i am lost today.

i have thread carefully, i have paid my dues, i have at all times made sure i live up to the trust and care that some good souls have showed me. i gave unparalleled loyalty to all those who lent me a hand, pulled me up. i worked my way up with such force and determination of not wanting them to look bad. it was not for me, it was for everyone else. i did all this to make sure no one dies during my lifetime and leave me alive with a broken soul.

today, i feel the world has left me somewhere that i cant crawl back. i look ahead towards some charted fate knowing this life will go on at its will. i feel the things that will happen, will take its course, as it was determined on some slate. i have no control. i have been drawn in some pages to live till the eventual. i have no control of anything, i have made bad choices, i have begged forgiveness from god. all i want is to change the people close to me so that they can live a good life. in all this circus they continue everyday to live careless, to not see the virtues of what it would be to not live a lonely and painful. they have everything their way and yet they waste away. i only want to see them be grateful for what they are having, what they receive everyday. it pains me to see them waste their able lives, it pains not to be able to influence them of the good that they can live to see in this world. i feel numb to see them rot away. i don't want to give up hope on them, but maybe, a day will come when they are what they wished to be. and i will not be alive to see them and be happy. i am lost and dying in the darkness.

`the days when beautiful thoughts are shared among their friends and family, they don't know the dynamics of how that came to be. i know how it will be tomorrow, when even them brothers will laugh and dismiss me away for after all i have do is not remembered anymore. let it be the time they look back, when im gone to know that i did all i could and they have forgotten to take me in when i needed everyone the most.

Thursday, August 27

to write

I used to think that to write a blog post, you need to interact and travel and see and experience the world. To find something to describe a unique occurrence, a situation and place. To unravel the beauty of the moment with words which in turn can also be justified with a beautiful image of the moment.

Now I realize the only way to write a blog post resides in finding the Time to write it. And all along, the experience of the moments we wish to describe withers away from words, living only in random memories, and future histories.

[-/] welcome back Miladysa :)

Saturday, August 15

the Internet town

dogs barking on every street, occasional fires, the homeless, the same music repeating every minute of the day. welcome all to the Internet town.

after a while even the noise of silence gets boring, and sometimes even the blind get perturbed by the immaturity some display of not seeing the obvious.

and in this pile of decomposing human thoughts, the only certainty is that there are still good blogs in some faraway corner of the streets, occasionally.

Tuesday, August 11

uravugal thodarkathai

my take on it,
life is made of never ending stories of finding, living, misplacing and loosing love.

[#] Uravugal Thodarkhatai is a timeless masterpiece by Raja, was telling a friend today that i want this as my death song :) probably the people then would surmise my life accordingly.

Thursday, August 6

pacific crest trail

pct trail, at 8000 feet, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

hiked the pacific crest trail today, its one of the national scenic trails in California. Jim and I started at 7000 feet elevation, the hike is for about 10 miles and the highest point is 8950 feet right before the end. It took me about 6 hours to complete the 10 miles hike, Jim was of course an expert on the trails and ended up about half an hour before me :)

The total length of the PCT is 2650 miles with snow covered mountains during winter, and generally a pleasant and beautiful hiking trails during normal season. Beautiful wildflowers, blue skies and the occasional bears and mountain lions (which we most probably wont ever see during daytime).

was dreaming for so long on doing the Appalachian trails, the PCT is a dream come true, thanks to Jim :)

Monday, August 3

the walks

i have walked so far, i don't feel like stopping at all
the nomad lives on, in many memories

Saturday, August 1

something from the roads

returning to the same places a few times in our lifetime makes us brand new. at many times emanating a kind of energy that creates new universes of warmth and familiarity. knowing you belong there, however alien the people be, you know you belong there. let it be for only a second of the lifetime in cosmic perspective. life was there then.

and you sit there at the side of the road looking at them walk by along with time. you look down at their footprints, and all you see is your past walks.

and when the next city comes 10000 miles after, you see a whole new existence. erasing the past days and from the fractured time lines you pick the sharpest shards to carve out new footprints.

you create the paths, you walk on it and it goes on. for the many cities in that million year journey, the many miles in a godless universe. you only see things that brings awe.

writing a thesis on the life of a time traveler.

Wednesday, July 29

weird day

woke up at 3 am feeling totally out of place. nightmares again, people offering me jobs, standing at the cashier counter, walking the piers, wtf moments. and all this in my dream! so what actually freaked me out was that when I woke up, all the doors in the room was open, the closet, the bedroom door, etc. no one broke in, but i felt it in my sleep that something was going on in the room. the first thing i did after waking up was to get my laptops and place it on the bed with me. forgetting even to check my passport and wallet...sigh.

im not sure if some ghost has been following me around in this trip, or was it the same one thats been following me a decade now. crazy stuff i tell you. not a moment passes that i feel 'not alone' wherever i go. try figuring that out.

Tuesday, July 28

again and again

i dont know how to explain this reign of confusion. i'm definitely not an organized person when it comes to work. i hoard stuff, emails, notes, letters and even atm receipts, but i really dont know how to keep it all together. organize it. and when this new client came in and started talking about the process, timelines, Scheduling and stuff, it finally dawned upon me that they are more that just big words. i used to brush them aside because everything is streamlined and online nowadays. everything is just there, the tools. i just need to log in, get my work, finish, port it back, invoice and im done. its all there, numbered processes. but then im loosing out of the big picture here. there is no communication with the local environment where the work happens. or if its in another country, there is no serious discussions about usability and target markets and such. all this while i was thinking of the presence and not the commanding position that i should strive to be.

the market is flooded, inundated by wet ears. theyre welcome to come, but then there must be some space for the experienced to do their stuff. hence, to put it all together, the new client comes, and learns the process and immediately wants cheaper people. because they want many brains working on the same thing, to get a well rounded result, rather than one person dictating whats good and not for the market. theyre gonna pay, lets say 2 cents for each person in the process, and then keep 90% of the profit to themselves. for doing what? for getting the customer. how on earth do anyone come up in this kind of market?


Friday, July 24

small boundaries/ layers of our worlds

i always wanted to know this, what do you do with your surroundings? rather, what do you do in your surroundings, your city, school, house, even life. do you explore it in tiny circles that grow bigger, maybe like peeling an onion do you slowly peel the layers of your environment and discover many magical things a day at a time. do you do the same at places you travel to, for work or study.

and when the layers end, and the circle's big enough to cover your immediate reach, how do you retrace back the magic, the warmth and security that those past circles provide. its not about finding humans, its about finding certain assurance when we peek into the corner and find a new world. each time.

its a nice feeling :)

so, tell me how do you live your surroundings, your worlds?

Thursday, July 23

new life philosophies

disregard of life's pain, the moment's destruction of any sanity in this world, disregard of anything, what keeps us going? i guess its work, even in grave problems we only manage to wake up another day because we are indebted with work to others. no man is a boss to any work he does, in my experience no matter how independent we choose to be, there are always people who will criticize, review, dissect and be the new boss of our work. hence, in this whole chaotic, fragmented existence that marks the adult life of many of us, the salvation to a calmer life comes from struggle and sacrifice. and to borrow from orkut; 'Toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other...'. everything's in there, you can make it happen. sometimes it takes some maturity, less fear, an open mind and a clear sky to just make it happen. ill live with this philosophy today.

Tuesday, July 21

a few more steps

this time i got myself to stop advising myself. like the stuff you tell to assure yourself things are right or wrong, on whether its going to be ok and all. nope, that doesn't work in the long run. leaders dont advice themselves. the world never did so too. there is this clean slate every morning for us to walk on, capture, paint, sing to, work on, paste the lives of others. im going to try that from now on.

on other steps; i made a pact with a buddy of mine that if i ever get tired of life or whatever im doing, im just going to backpack and roam the world. its possible, cant make everyone happy all the time. so the best thing is to stay away from the negative ones, and enjoy the prospects of this chaotic world.

believing that humans are just clinging to people because they cant strike out on their own. others are important, but others need to give a hand in fulfilling the meaning of being together. the years to come will be filled in figuring why some are so easy to get along with and why some build walls.

again, life is not a thesis, and everything else for that matter doesn't need an explanation. what needs certain activity is living the space around us. what does living in the present means? does it mean ignoring all else to strive for our own better future. and where does the better future factor in when everyone has left and you need a helping hand. maybe even a few words of encouragement, do you come back then to say you matter, again?

the final steps are for simple things. simple happiness, simple sorrow, simple love and simple life. the simple things in life, in love, in work and in travels. the days and nights, the midnight star. those kind of things. the wandering mind, the struggling heart, the fighting spirit. all of it.

[/-] future retrospective on a few things, on all things.

Sunday, July 19

it was something i really wished for

when i tried to put everything into perspective, it dawned that if I had not made some stupid moves this would have been a perfect setting for beautiful things. many had come, many had left, those memories. for some I wish never have brushed for they left me to weep on imaginary graves.

in front of my eyes you walked into some distance, then you turned back and returned. my visions are from my dreams. the happiness were only in my dreams, when my eyes stay closed. wasn't it you who made me wake up and achieve those dreams. unknowingly finding tears, in between warm breezes in foreign lands.

like love, those too pass away. withering in the wind, struggling in summers, waning in winter, silent springs and audacious autumns. none so beautiful like the soul you showed me. me only. to know that two people belong together and then to see it break apart and to live the sorrow, mere seasons don't paint absolution for bold dreams of yesterdays.

there was this scape i drew for you. there were mountains in the distance, monsoons from rain forests outside the balcony and when the painting was completed, it drowns even the sound of heavy droplets on still roofs of that beautiful house. built for you and me. and as we walked together into this unending journey, threading, jumping from color to color to see a whole new life awaken.

how i dreamed these pages, how for a year i believed there could be something. how life throws us amazing opportunities, how it brings us amazing people to show the opens doors we frequently ignored. how blissfully ignorant could some minds be to wait for a miracle from the sky, how even that waiting is justified for souls like you to come and show the breaking rays from eternity clouds.

how lovely were you, on that summer day, along the shores of forgotten seas, as you waited for me with faith. how was I to know what words were right and which were wrong. how the minutes became hours and daylight melted away along with the fog. when then night came, and I was still not there, when sanity came and it was too late for me. you left, maybe forever.

it hurts as no one ever understood, no one ever does. for all that had happened in great distances, could have been so much more beautiful from a touch away.

requiem for a life, for love

[#] something random, for a dude who sleeps 3 hours a day, every dream turns amazingly beautiful, amazingly heartbreaking and amazingly weird.

Tuesday, July 7

of many things

something about getting older makes you realize that the world is never in pace with you. provided we have in some ways tried to keep pace with the dynamics of humanity, we might have arrived in/ to the future. but then, try however we might, we are always left behind in this game. the world is either too in front of you tomorrow morning, or have stopped catching up with you.

life is full of heartbreaks, just like how we lost yesterday, how we are loosing today. we simply have to live that many days more.

the beauty of working, is the satisfaction that we are doing something more that not doing anything. the happiness is in watching others be happy and proud for us, at us, about us.

always respect, accept and acknowledge those who try. there are shoes, we can never fit in. then there are false shoes, that never exist. but for those who try, and try, and fail and try with tears and blood, their steps make deep impressions on their experience and ours. appreciate their lives. pull someone up. even if it means stopping for a while.

on being honest. we have choices, and that involves removing people who slow you down, or whom tries to stop you. these people are not honest about their lives, nor will they ever be about ours. dont waste time on them. just leave them. if your move is clear, you would know who to leave, who not to. after all, there are only so many tomorrows, and only a lifetime to live and celebrate.

~of love. never give up :)

mj, 2

there will never be a closure, we waited for a comeback. and now, he never will.

Wednesday, June 24

this transformers movie

if you're a fan, go watch it. if you're a fan from the start of the cartoon many years ago, go watch it and I hope you don't come out cursing. if you're a sucker for mindless actions movies from Michael Bay, go watch. go with 'no hope', no expectations. this is a 2.5 hours advertisement for the now dead GM and the US Army. it has the worst acting possible ever for a summer movie this year because it has that 'Shia LaBeouf' dude in it. I felt, after watching this, that Terminator 4 was a decent movie.

my take: total crap. but who cares.

Saturday, June 20

disappearing paradises

We first ventured to the Pedu near the borders of Malaysia/ Thailand about 5 years ago. The highway in the picture was under construction then, and there was an original route that ran through pristine and rare rain forest. It navigates along the Pedu (and Beris )lake which is a huge man made lake. The giant Tualang tree grows in this forests and can reach heights of 250 feet, on which the Asian Rock Honey Bee's build their nests.

I was under the impression that the project was stalled, but today we found out its still going on. This magnificent sunset captured from the highway that was carved out of paradise has a dark agenda hidden beneath it. The original scenic route that passes along the Pedu lake was destroyed to make way for a more direct route. Hills were blasted, and the land was mutilated to build this highway. There are still a few vantage points to view the lake, but the surroundings are gone for good. The lake itself is a famous fishing spot, but the signs of ongoing development, of which, this particular highway has been going on for nearlly 10 years, has damaged the site permanently. I wonder who wants to use this lost highway, since the state itself is very well connected for so many years. And how did a Conservation Forest such as this been allowed to be developed...

I was just chatting with Neha about how our cities and towns are being spaced out, and I guess this will always be a forward development rather than waiting for anyone to take a back step to consider nature. One day you will wake up to see your backyard gone, one day maybe you will step out to an alien land. Think about it...maybe you can change the situation in your communities.

[/] My Pedu Flickr Set

[/] Tualang Tree (with pics)

Thursday, June 18

false prophets

some days even the mindless ramblings will evolve into something stupid, with a life of its own and noise that permeates the invisible halls of the Internet. the noise is everywhere, it blinds you. you can actually see the noise suffocating you like haze on a scorching hot and humid day. and when you seek the origin, you see false prophets. the preachers from every road you take, the spreader of hate and hope. you don't need to take a class to know who to trust and not to. people will be preaching till butterfly flies out of their arses to change you. and you must not. you change when you have the will and power to change yourself. and don't believe the false prophets, they seek gratification, ego, lust, power and justification for being loud. they shout, they bite. but you don't stop to throw stones at all dogs. as a matter of fact, you don't have to stop at all. whats holding you back, unless you choose the believe the insane. the windows into their brain, the washing of their yesterdays. their lives are mundane, they are insignificant.

you are empowered, you are destined to achieve many things from your persistent chiseling on the walls of this universe. you believe and you achieve. you don't have the wrath of god, or the limitations of the society to fear. these are the false prophets. there is a false prophet at every corner of the road and they are there to make you break your promises. the promises you make to yourself everyday, in the morning to make this day the best. you walk your path to achieve your efforts. achieve, and get the results. that's what matters, results. nothing else. the result is the journey, when you stack your results you look at a great journey to the future. no regrets, no wrath, no vengeance just you and your world and the ones who are happy for you. take not a step backward. beware of false prophets. but don't be afraid of them.

(i don't have disclaimers for this post, these words are collections of wisdom's from my research years, from many nights of deciphering humans and the universe)

Tuesday, June 16


playgrounds are changing,
spending time figuring new games,
rather than playing the existing rules

[/]My Flickr

Thursday, June 11

rare sunsets

the tanjung dawai sunset is (or was) as illusive as ever. after trying for ages, finally managed to capture one without cloud cover at all. it was really a sight to behold.
[more in my Flickr]

[+] seriously swamped with work, managed to get my projects set, company setting up nicely. working on some neat ideas to be launched very soon :) Oh btw...the new iPhone 3GS has a Malay UI. Hoping for Indian languages next year. :)

Sunday, June 7

some scapes i dont have control

today i experienced the most ethereal feeling ever in a very long time. something akin to the passing time stopping still, having no meaning to an everlasting night. the darkness and the stars the only constant in this still world. what mattered were the humans, and the minds that roam the universe.

and among all this, among lost voices, serene starscapes, cool breezes and magical music, i felt the fragility of the human spirit, in me. never having the ability to know if things are happening too fast, developing out of control, for the good or for worst, the feeling of being fragile is similar to death.

Thursday, June 4

rendering the extremes

a ghost call woke me up, but there were no flash of light or even the magical beginning of fort minors where'd you go. its another day i woke up in my dream. this lucids are getting too chaotic, im loosing control over the places i want to travel.

knowing well im paralyzed in the real world and sensing only the humid air blown around by the ceiling fan which have been torturing itself for weeks now to bring some sanity to me. it is my marker to know whether im awake or not. it too failed me alot of times. i never know when im awake, i would just be falling out of dreams for hours before something real, some human wake me up.

this happened around December last year, the ghost call. i woke up, no calls and went to the window. it was a beautiful day and in the far horizon I could see wind swept mountain tops. the details were mesmerizing as the soft ice blankets are blown in slow motion into nothingness. it is a dream, i realized, but not the one i set out to live that night. i went out of the front door just to watch in fleeting moments the mountains and white snow changing into glass structures of buildings and houses. people were looking at the sky. i could see some of the usual characters of my lucids together with me now. the blue sky was rendered cloudless in a few seconds as bright flashes of light swept from all corners of the world. people were still affixed at the sky experiencing the whole event, speechless i can only assume. in a minute or two the clear ultra blue sky turned silvery grey and then blobs of what may be particles or nano machines appeared. they were slowly eating the sky and in the breaks were fire akin to the boiling surface of the sun. in that moment of panic i woke up. i had the same dream repeating twice more. then it ended.

probably it was a vision of end days when the sun swallows the near planets of the solar system.

[more strange days]

Wednesday, June 3

unending journeys and graveyards

there was always this fixation with long journeys. it started from all those mysterious bus journeys when i was a kid. though the memories are vague now, I could still remember a few vivid moments, tragic at most times. bus journeys used to take half a day back then before the highway was build. And the longest would be one whole day from one end of the peninsular to the other.

but thats not the story. the story was how this passion for travelling took many twisted turns, painful yet liberating. it was always The university that provided the starting point for many adventures. knowing, and threading new roads with the assurance that the earth wont open up and eat you. try holding up a wide eyed wanderer too long, and this is what happens.

and hence, the first real long journey was not far. it was during the ragging, an universal indian tradition in universities around the world, that took me out, exorcised the ghost in me. i was dumped at a graveyard along with a few unfortunate souls to sit out the night. and the catch, since there is always one, is to bring back some souvenirs from the realm of the dead. much easier was getting the frangipani flower, rather than trying to break some shards from tombstones. nope, no digital cameras back then, not with me anyway.

that one jump was turned into a whole night of salvation hunting. suddenly the graveyards opened up into fields where we looked for glory. for bragging rights and stories for generations. we ran and played hide and seek, we shouted and dreamed the stars away. there was no ghost. the next day, we volunteered for this 'punishment' again with another group of intrigued seniors. and the next as well.

a few years after, in another travel through the eastern jungles of the peninsular we rode through many graveyards, many afterlife homes. they have the best stories, they let the best imaginations work. if the travel was with equally goofy dudes, you get the most horrific tales laced with sex and adventure. but it was with the lorry drives that you get the most real stories complete with battle scars. and that is when all the fear you worked to exorcise over the years come hunt you again, every night. never challenge a true story teller, especially if he has a reputation at it. like when he says at around 2.45 am every day a bald ghost with burning head walks from the graveyards over the hills, you dont laugh at him. because when you do see one, maybe not a clear vision, but when you do see some fire floating in air walking towards the road at 2.45 am sharp, you rather wish to be dead. try starting a conversation after that. you'd be lucky if you dont fall sick for a week or two. but seeing stuff at a distance is much better than getting ambushed by vampires on trees. or your friendly early morning trekker waving at you in all white. or the black bald men of the old federal roads.

i have forgotten the exact routes but have always remembered the tales. i will be making another journey along the eastern routes in the near future. maybe this time ill be lucky enough to document some...

Tuesday, June 2


serious yawn. i dont know if I have lost the plot, or the blog-o-village have devolved. go figure :)

Sunday, May 31

eternal quest

so he began another day in his eternal quest for the restaurant at the end of the universe, perched high on a mountain, looking over rainbow toned fog invaded valleys and distant waterfalls swaying in slow motion, akin to satin shawls caressed by wind from shoulders of maidens in their own weekend dreams. and it repeats ad infinitum, for months.

and the days, when turning into night, just during the 5 minutes period when the mighty sol sets into the edge of water, the sea and waves appeared calm, reflecting an electric blue hue, with just a touch of orange sliver all the way from space to me, completing a magical evening dream.

back in time, thousands of revolutions around the sun, in the mighty jungles of panthers and headhunters, the roar of giant waterfalls from tepuis pricking the forever clouds of centuries of rain, he emerged stealthily, in his blue jeans, black t and a nikon. hunting.

first tonight, he has to sleep. to complete his current lucid, for he has stories to tell, too many.

Wednesday, May 27

your audience

the web is saturated, sometimes its overwhelming to the point it makes you shut it off all together. but at most times you come back, with the hope of finding some changes. i guess web technologies will always evolve, many good things will materialize, but if you are expecting something towards a minimalistic appearance, catering just the things you need at any point of time, then the wait might never end. its always a cycle from free content towards monetizing it, and you are in the receiving end of ads and viral apps all thrown at you at light speed.

in the beginning when i started blogging, i was mad about everything on the web, i quoted a lot of other writings, poems and images. i still do this, but now I do it in facebook; that is one platform you can trash out stuff, and live to see it burn. people take what they want, and if they dont want it, they can ignore it, and you cant expect them to complain about it on facebook or twitter - these are just tools, you dont like it, you leave.

if you stay long enough in the web world, you expect to mature in blogging and eventually you might offer streamlined content with 'your' brand. quoted writings will make way for your own stories and poems, and you will be capturing the world with your camera and present beautiful images from your point of view, from your moments. your experience will be translated into books, albums, music, etc. it is a great thing if you can achieve this, and it happens only when you know your audience. you collect the best opinions, and it shapes your creative output. the best audience you have, your true friends, will encourage the perfect output they see you are capable of. this is why you need your target audience.

its good after a few years of blogging to have your target audience. it wont take long to realize who among your readers like what kind content. when you have web Readers, regular users will have the patience to sieve through each blog and read what they want. but at most times, there will be many passable posts, contents. this is where you must find some responsibility of knowing what to write, when to write and to whom you target it. it is your blog, but when its public space, people do get bored. many will leave, and trust me, that is a good thing. the more you shed unwanted readers, the better your writing experience will be. some readers will have an expectation from you, and they will get frustrated on the rants and whines (me, guilty as ever), on the hate posts, on the broken records, etc. if you know your target audience, you will reduce this and in time know from heart your best offerings, your true capabilities.

so, you want to make a presence, and get something good out of this web experience, know your audience. faking it wont help, don't live in a perpetual tangent trying to accommodate certain viewpoints only. you cant get good posts all the time, so take time off, requote old writings, repost old writings, and yes go back to old habits sometimes, post good stuff from others. but keep in mind, the current scenario of web; people just dont care. your circle gets small, especially if its a reading circle. flickr expands because each image is a post with no commitment, you look you like you comment you leave. blog posts require attention and time that the readers dont have, even when they have web Readers. the next time you post, get organized. if you are good at writing stories, get a separate blog for stories only, same with poems, and images. and have one blog where you write the everyday stuff, and promote your speciality writings in this blog, as excerpts, and invite your audience to what they want only, and they will definitely be happy to come again, knowing you are in control of your digital footprint.

Monday, May 25


sami hyypia
a true liverpool legend

hope one day he returns to liverpool fc

[#] sami played 464 games for lfc for 10 glorious years

Sunday, May 24

getting up

there is something about falling down that is so painful that eventually you become numb of the pain. but there is no numbness when you get back up and finish your task. then we will see who made what mistake. celebrate now sinners, i know i will live to see the day of retribution.

Friday, May 15

light voyagers

light voyagers, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

lets sail the high seas!

(i agree, we need bigger boats)

what if we hit a sand bank? or a fog bank?

or a storm? or pirates?!

or crazy crew mates? hungry cannibalistic crews? seasick sailors?

do we bring pets too?

which sea do we start with?

do we need passports for every sea border we sail into?

(too many unknowns....)

Wednesday, May 13


the one bloom, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

the greatest thing to learn from our travels are the people we meet. they are bundles of great inspiration, energy and love. the nomads. I'm truly happy and honored to know each and everyone i met during this past two years who have for the good, shaped my career and life. in finding missing memories of the past that we find fluent futures built on the strongest foundations. rejoice in knowing that every step you take will eventually lead to new minds, and a land open vast and waiting to accept you.

Tuesday, May 5

for many tomorrows

(feeling blank for the past week or so. This poem is for Neyha, always remembered, love always)

Requiem for a Passing

Your words walk from land to land
Stories vibrate among friends who band
Images of lilies born and beautiful being faint
March streams washing pebbles sometimes quaint
Moist eyes leave behind sparks of life undone
Your shadow casts rain and painted sunshine
Ages crawl and disappear across worlds
Desert nomads journey spreading heralds
Lone bagpiper with a song in passing
On mountains shadowy angels amassing
Your touch reminds her of eras in gathering
Drummers with an anthem of pitiless feeling
Memories floats away with an unheard motivation
In majestic ships with sailormen since foundation
Miniature leaves descending from willows decaying
Your name written in destiny gradually parting
A silent mutiny yesterday being legendary
Among women and children building a majestic scenery
Jaded soldiers holding fallen enemies, blinded by human spirit
Tranquil seasons when you are born again in memories.


[#] wrote this so long ago, unedited.

Tuesday, April 28


the only reason we do everything and anything to help someone is because we don't want to loose them. its not even faith anymore, its just the fear of waking up another day and finding an empty heart in us. and a love lost forever.

Wednesday, April 22

time stops still

Crissy Field, SF
[my flickr - san francisco]

there is an interesting conundrum here, whether we stop to appreciate the world, or we stop to take photos of the world. the level of satisfaction differs greatly for both. some magic can only appear on slates of digital images. but the real magic comes from the memories of time that never passes.

Friday, April 17

san francisco

I'm supposed to write something about beautiful San Francisco and how one of my biggest dreams came true. But this week has been a roller coaster at its extreme. I've had 4 days between my visa interview and landing in SF. And I'm still doing 18 hours a day working. Coupled with some massive screwup with one of my agencies, nothing seems peaceful this week.

Only the sunshine State and the beautiful city of Cupertino keeps me alive. And the lovely people here :)

See you soon.

Monday, April 13

hillsborough 96, always remembered

[#] We remember because we don't want it to happen again.
[#] Our Nation is Liverpool, Our Language is Football.

Monday, April 6

seven pounds

they do still make good movies and there are still bloody good actors. such a simple, straightforward, unpretentious, good movie. how many followed smith during his fresh prince days and thought he will become this big? the number one actor in the world. raw talent :)

do watch it. not to be missed.

[+] seven pounds, will smith.

Friday, April 3

its bleeding light!

(and you thought the matrix was awesome...take a look at my 5 bucks mice!)
[Flickr - Photon Dreams]

I dont visit blogs anymore, Google Reader does everything and more. You dont have to wait ages for the blog link to open, just put everything into the Reader and live there.
Why Facebook is nice...I can share all the links and videos I want in a few seconds! Tada! I'll stay there for a while more, before coming back to blogging.
Google is buying Twitter. All the Birds! I dont know what it means, but I bet there will be some clean and simple Gtalk Twitter integration (was the function already there and I missed the boat?)
I worked a total of 90 hours since Monday. I dont feel so good, even with all the paperless 'jamming' going on, the tasks are stinging slow! I get atleast 10 emails per hour from the clients, and not even half of it are for real jobs!
For the Nth time this year, my ISP failed me. The wires to US and Hong Kong (which represents almost all of our connection to the 'websites from the west' (heh!) is down! I cant read my comics! oh and do work :(
Coupled with the fcking Telco. It takes a good 15 minutes for an SMS to leave the phone...15 minutes!!!!


Everyone who knows about next week, wish me luck. Friends who dont know, ask me :P
I'm happy, worked hard for it, hope I make it :) And I cant thank enough the two person who made it happen for me over the years. More about them in the future.

[#] Changed my avatar pic after nearly 5 years. I want a new, futuristic avatar. Either I draw it myself or am going to commission it...any takers (please don't quote me high).

let's go for a walk

we're gonna do it
we're gonna do it good
and we're gonna party like never before

Wednesday, April 1

ice cream

believe it!
its a chili flavored, chocolate ice cream

mango ice cream

makes you wonder,
what was there before ice cream?

Tuesday, March 31

we were there

[+] Click for Bigger Version
Petronas Twin Towers, 8.30 pm, Earth Hour, Saturday 28th March, 2009
I still don't see a point in this Earth Hour thingy, but well done on the marketing, and everything. Big Corps have perfected the idea of mass brainwashing. I just hope WWF managed to get what they want from this because I'm dead sure that no amount of Earth Hour will reverse any Global Warming, etc.

[+] travelers; Sandra, Indran, Lina, Ghost

Wednesday, March 25

of games and the road

there are a few things that I cant digest much nowadays. there is this never ending struggle in me to seek the path that was meant to be. the distress button has been pressed long ago. but at moments, you may realize, words like 'meant to be' are cohorts with modern day pseudo culture such as astrology and structured religion. there is nothing meant to be. the basic rule of the world is, you work hard, and your work for a purpose. meant to be is an idea of evolution without any entropy fueling it. in short, magic.

leave that aside. what i realized from this internet circus is that (i) material by women, (ii) heavy shiny expensive stuff and (iii) blinding idol-ism is worshiped. good things are not. don't hate me for the women part. it is not a generalization, its just another make believe culture of this world, magical sedimentary remains from an era of absolution seeking tribes who want to say they respect equal right, and in that sense look for the extra bit of skin, in pretext.

these are harsh words to describe the evolution of internet phenomenon such as flickr, blogs, and social networks. about flickr, a buddy of mine mentioned that, everyone is seeking fame, everyone wants to be the best. about (ii) vj said that flickr is camera biased, the bigger the dslr you have, the more mindless comments you get. and (iii) speaks for itself.

what is so strange is that, I have met and interacted with women whom doesnt not carry the trait of 'girls in rappers videos' to loosely quote Pink. smart, intelligent and determined women. hence, why am I, in the process of seeking my own fame_dom in this world of photography, free verse and story writing am bogged down by nonrecognition of raw talents, because of the 3 things above.

so i am part of this internet freak show. i am seeking something else, i am charting the evolution of internet itself, over my-lifetime.

the road in this day and age is slow. technology is not. pharmaceuticals have been achieved and sitting in vaults, because global warming is busy evolving diseases for medicines that have been discovered years ago. technology will reach an idea of singularity, not singularity itself, in my lifetime. deducing this is simple, as everything else in this world right now runs on speculation. speculative life, speculative relationship and speculative money. there are two ways, one is to beat the future, another is to slow down and let it overtake you. in one you invent what you want to consume, in the other you consume the leftovers.

so there might not be a clear line in this, but what you must seek is how the internet can interact and lift your heredity skills that you are slowly discovering into heights of excellence. dont act like romans when being rome, don't be a drone.

hope some of us get a picture of the game. the road is something we have to invent ourselves. for the rest, just move on with life, maybe the mundane make belief world is enough for you.

In the flow, let me present you again, my masterpieces;
[Feast of Minds]

Tuesday, March 24

i used to draw

there was a time in this corner of the this grand universe when i was a fierce fan boy of X-files (the kind that fights with friends if they say anything bad about Mulder and Scully). But even that doesn't explain how Garfield got raped into this masterpiece. As you can observe, it was torn to pieces when I went to Uni, I managed to find the pieces and paste it back together. Fox Garfield Mulder, a fans tribute, from a weird childhood.

[#] Am being forced to clean my old stuff or they will throw it away. All of em. :(

Saturday, March 21

the game is

not over yet. it took me a while, but then i realized, this fun in solitude is no fun at all. pretentious marauding packs of humans who hunger for another hour in a day. and when you step outside the frantic bubble keeping your emotional distance away, there are no lessons to be learned for the outsider. the world is lame. the Internet is crowded, packed with redundant data, advertisements, political trash and every ingredient out there to make this a digital slum. imagine, a world, walled, littered with gods, nodes connecting homes where you live, die. pockets of rich living in bubble networks, scums of the earth living in decaying electron caves. fire, and snow in distances evoke strange metallic memories of the future, collapsing and returning to the past. each day, sun rise and sunset wither in offices, unimportant shadows remind us of them. and the journey continues to find a niche to survive the demanding years, where bubbles will burst, leaving yet again a decapitated future once dreamed as our savior.

Thursday, March 12


in perpetual uncertainty over everything. read blogs, didn't comment on any. i've lost my ability to write full sentences (except now and here, for some reason). been awake for 18 hours now, not good. kicking my self, again, for something(s) that happened last year. sudden outbursts in f.o.m will surely turn into a storm soon. i mainly exist in facebook, flickr and emails right now. i can't think of anything else that needs less words than pictures. i take good photos. got many things done, except maybe sleep, which i am not able to 'achieve'. in perpetual sickness. i try and try and i'm still unable to erase the pain. the next guy who comes to me with a business proposal will be killed. salvation comes, in solitude. the unending evenings and forever nights are well alive. am not going to turn this into a poem. this is post 928 by the way, the number means nothing. such strange path you have, wonder how i chose to fit in and not make it right. the sound of silence. gradual insanity. perpetual chaos. broken causality. i am nuts. good morning.

Monday, March 2

a fine frenzy

Come On, Come Out

~Come On, Come Out by A Fine Frenzy

~Almost Lovers by A Fine Frenzy

[+] A Fine Frenzy
[+] Alison Sudol

refreshing to hear :)

[+] great voice, great songs, great videos, great lyrics...time to start digging more alternatives!

Saturday, February 28


I found my scrapbook from 12 yeas ago!
high school, basketball diaries, angry teachers, crazy friends, bicycles, motorbikes, first love, ditching school, forever fields, oh my god!
The 90's
When the air was still pristine,
the Internet was a less corrupting force,
X-files was still on air,
Everyone had a license to be naive, and
I was plotting World Domination!
Sniff sniff...happy tears.

i forgot I was an epic dreamer even back then! wohooo!

[+] am gonna make the book disappear for another...10 years! :D Have a safe safe weekend my friends, wherever you travel, in whatever you do and whoever you meet, just pass the love and thank this world for everything you have. And remember: Rule The World!

Monday, February 23

in awe

in awe, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

[+] My Rain forest Series

ARR & The Oscars

{update} ARR won both the Oscars for Original Score and Original Song. Could this have been the only time we heard Tamil words at the Oscars?!. (tears...he hit the soft spot, I pull back my reservations...)

Kate Winslet! WOHoooo! Damn you Sean Penn...! Another way to win the Oscars, play Gay! grrr!

Slumdog has won 8/10 including best picture. Danny Boyle...beat David Finch for the Best Direction Oscar...oh my god! WTF!

Still the Dark Night Rules!

Ok folks, shows over, get back to work!

If he wins, its euphoria
If he doesn't win, I bet there will be protests, even riots!
I, though I so do love ARR music, wants Peter Gabriel to win for his amazing 'un-fusioned" song from Wall-E!
I dont want Slumdog to win because the fcking Oscar committee didn't nominate MY Dark Knight! (dont try to figure this out)

Where were those days when we watched movies for its beauty, message, and good acting and fine songs (I am Indian btw) instead of movie politics.

I just found out I'm the only one in my family and possibly the clan who hasn't watched Slumdog Millionaire. It felt like being an outcast last night, watching Liverpool blow another match while everyone at home were talking about Slumdog and Rahman! I wished it was Saturday night, had loads of fun being alone. Taking pride for a movie made not by your countrymen! Bleh! We make 900 movies a year and some dude made the best movie ever of Mumbai? Oh wait, damn...Gandhi was not local either! Maniratnam should have won Oscars a long time ago! Oscar talks...god I so dont want to hear my grandma say it next....that will be the day!

What's sadder... there will be power cuts the whole morning till afternoon today! No Oscars bah! I so wanted to watch Hugh Jackman...damn dude...All the best!

Have a happy Monday guys!


Wednesday, February 18


i just noticed my hit counter standing at 49995. Anyone who visits here and notices it to be 50000 and 50001, buzz me. Something special for you.

not that it matters much, most blogs dont have hit counters at all. i just want to get the demographics of my visitors, so that i can cut some crap from what I write, focus more towards topic centric, season centric and country specific writings and well write good, different stuff. Its all about connecting to people. Im done with ass-smooching, its so damn lame. Today i see the blog-o-spehere is full of crap. I mean real crap, have people lost sense of what to write? Dont they plan even a bit of what it should be, the outcome, or even produce something original. Whats with emo posts week in and week out? I mean share your pain, dont act out something thats not there. It goes to everything else too. I particularly HATE this blog-awards. Sorry to all those innocent readers who gave em to me, all that I received, I am happy for. I just think that its so boring and downright an abuse of good blog space by doing that. URGH! (dont worry, im not drunk. yet).

where is the innocence in blogging? I had a good talk with Karthi back in Bangalore. It all makes sense now, there is just too much repeating info online that we are not using this medium for something good. By good means, by spreading pristine, new info. We cant do that all the time, but at least there must be some way to seep in some innocence into posts. Even simply uploading a picture tells some well grounded, beautiful information about people to people. In the future I hope to quote well written posts from time to time. Blogging is about aggregating the best you find out there. Right now, I cant find more than a dozen or so really good blogs, written from raw experience, from the heart except for the blogs of Kavi sir, Jeevan, Miladysa, Neha (dgypsy), Nachi (even if he writes like once in a hundred years!)., Donn 'the Man' Coppens, Gautami., Pauline and a few more. I'd love to see Alok, Nayan, Pallavini and the rest of the old school gang come back blogging. We are loosing an artform taken over and trashed by...*gasp* Zombie Teenagers! It feels like damn Friendster in here sometimes...urgh. Im not going to blog jump at random anymore.

oh btw, I think 2/3 of the good folks who won the Guess 2 competition got their books last week. Pardon my gift wrapping skills, I suck at that. Yes. I still have many more unclaimed, please please do buzz me with your addresses. If you dont want any books, I can get you Pro accounts for Flickr, or anything else of the same value through Paypal. BUZZ ME.

cheers folks. I need a week or two more to return to routine, hopefully with something better to write.

and its fever season...wishing speedy recovery to all you who are down with the flue, fever, etc. The best medicine is to drink ice cold water :D

If you're not bored with me yet:

Sunday, February 15

Goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye, goodbye, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.

goodbye's are not forever
that is the essence of life
something that permeates existence
that i learned, and lived
on purpose
wishing for full abandon
of ego
of the chains of destiny and fate
dreaming and living
to see this scapes
of beauty
history and culture
in each jump
among the sands of time
you find miracles
of survival
that teaches more
than your age
in this world

goodbye, goodbye

Monday, February 9


the big temple at Tanjavur, Brihadeeswarar temple

Ghosting Thanjavur on the Chola trail
visiting the greatest works of the Tamil civilization
and some of the most beautiful and important temples
in Trichy, Tanjavur, Kumbakonam and Chidambaram

[+] The Brihadisvara Temple at Thanjavur, the Brihadisvara Temple at Gangaikondacholisvaram and the Airavatesvara Temple at Darasuram are World Heritage Sites.

[#] Will update my flickr later on, sieving through 2000 photos will take time :D

[#] Travelers Ghost, Saravanan, Padmanathan, Sri Hari

Friday, February 6

endless nights


in this forests
we trekked
along mysterious trails

looking up
among the canopies
shards of rays
from broken symmetries
of the leaves
illuminate the creatures
of the forest floor

and the smile
on your face
as i held out my hand
and led you to heavens
i cant forget

as it haunts me
in many dreams
in different days
and lives

dreams alive

Friday, January 30


...hoping for everything to end fast, end good.

~find me here, for short eternities

[feast of minds]

thirty three

in my magnetic drives
throws us back a lifetime
into the warm evenings
of the rain forests
and misty, cold

ghosts of generations
runs past, unrelenting, blind
from memories
and us

as we struggle
in this staggering world
to live another beautiful eternity
maybe this end
will remain
as death
~and no rebirths

ending, rebirth

Monday, January 26

there goes the weekend

the horse and man
somebody must do something to 'enliven' the government museum in Chennai
utterly disappointed
what on earth am I doing going to museums anyway!

[#] in future memories of the Smithsonian and the Louvre and the Egyptian museum...

Wednesday, January 21

President Obama

We, the people of earth, welcome President Obama

....get ready for an amazing ride guys! the timeless words of Robin Williams, 'the reign of error has ended!'

Despite the doom and gloom of everything this year,
Obama brings so much hope, it genuinely feels inspiring seeing the man take oath and the new first family :)

Its going to be a great 2009


Air and Simple Gifts - John Williams
Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, etc

Monday, January 19


happy elephant
sandstone sculpture, Kailasnatha temple, 8th century AD.

he does look like Horton right...? :P

[#] Travels in Kanchipuram, travelers: Sri Hari, Padmanathan, Vanathi, Ghost, Kumar, Murthy.
[#] Will update the rest of the pictures in my flickr very soon. [Ghost Flickr]

Friday, January 16


is rocking :)
in our hearts

in life
in love
in travels
in tomorrows
there is something about Chennai that makes you want to come over and over again...

Chennai Sangamam

The performance at TNagar yesterday
(was standing too far at the back, no closeups)

here's the video from my cell :)

[#] Today is the last day of the Chennai Sangamam, an amazing Tamil cultural festival organized by Tamil Mayman and taking place all around Chennai (10/1 to 16/1). Today is the last day of the festival with the Finale being held at Elliots Beach at Besant Nagar. So if you can brave the crowd, be ready for one hell of a show, Sivamani the percussionist will be performing together with many other performance.

Saturday, January 10


"this is for India"
ARRahman - Best Composer, Slumdog Millionaire

Best Song - Bruce Springsteen - The Wrestler

Critics Choice Award

[update] Add a globe to that! - (The Golden Globe Awards) Best Original Score- Motion Picture
Slumdog Millionaire - Composed by A. R. Rahman

[#] Certainly one giant leap for ARR, hope he wins all of his other nominations this year. Oscar 09 seems inevitable :)


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny