Thursday, December 31
Wednesday, December 30
there are many things interesting about evenings. sunsets touching the horizon and disappearing. providing beautiful perspectives laced with majestic colors. memories of photos, of revelry and sleeping. camping deep in the jungles, mountain scapes expanding all the way till tomorrow.
life taking a laid back course, winding down the road through valleys from emerging villages to bustling cities. yet the sun stays the same. evenings however, have changed phases. our lives have adapted to time shifts, we dont experience the same evenings as before. reading a book, walk to the dorm after class, running on infinity beaches. love. life aging in all directions, as mesmerizing sunrays paint the still skies long after the sun leaves our minds.
decades decay into memories, the mind tomorrow opens for younger days.
//we were young, I
Monday, December 28
it takes alot of guts for directors such as cameron, nolan or tarantino to move away from what traditional movie making is all about. if hollywood had a formula, similar to what some claim of indian movies, then that formula is reinvented every-year. these directors do not share the same philosophy, but they do stand by their creations. they dont have to be democratic. they are not the new steven spielberg or what has become of him.
moviegoers today are looking for a simple non-attached viewing experience. they do not want to be chained, they dont need to be forced to regret. they hope for an event in their life. they would want to watch a movie that can be a part of their life, just as the 2 hours spent in the theater is also a part of their life.
go watch good movies, its easy to know which :) go watch movies of your favorite actors, directors. dont read reviews even if its a 140 word twitter review.
Monday, December 21
Thursday, December 17
Friday, December 11
rain was a time when, locked away in the many rooms across eons, i gazed through tiny holes in the walls hoping someday it will open for me to feel and walk in the mesmerizing new streams flowing in ether. from those tears reflected a lifetime, of watching you engrossed with fog, speckles of sun ray and decaying leaves deep in the forest where rain formed spectacular memories. we were prisoners of idealism, building utopia that in itself is imperfect when caressed by the rain.
i don't remember much of the bonfire we shared under the same stars we strewn across continents of life. there was the phone calls, the only connection for you to share the cold drizzles from my frame, droplets from sanctuary trees with its leaves forming fragile shelters. raindrop floating free in the vacuum of earth falling slower than the time you feel. your gaze towards me empty and disappearing into the fog. i was invisible to you. forces held together the melting rivers of time flowing around us yet not connecting. holding this world together rain was just never ending.
the one time i climbed into a droplet, floating up and eventually captured by wind currents hopping from clouds to the stratosphere. i found pockets of architectural wonder, of rain biomes within shelter leaves on many giant trees. edge cities float across the atmosphere each learning to capture the first drops of rain.
//rain. Such mystery.
our journey through life are along mirror walled paths. however we want to be the observer in turn we are observing ourselves. not the thought projecting to be the actions of others, but just the others living our lives. and us of their life and times. during some fractions of the flow, time bends and entangles our walk and weakens our focus. there we are made to choose a new path. we wish for enduring spirit at those times, we wish for familiar faces and most importantly we wish for guidance.
believing in your spirit will guide you through the new paths. there will be momentary lapses, a broken wing and great falls. we walk on. enduring the winter, through all the seasons of time. these are stories i write for myself, for future times.
still buried in, reading all my past december posts. amazing stuff. i guess december and september will always be my favorite months. september has always been about the beginning of everything. i have always kept the important decisions to be made and walked in this month. important events, junctures faced, journeys started and ended in september. i was born in september.
december in the other hand is a magical. schools holidays are always the best in december. the greatest adventures in growing up happened then, the travels to faraway relative's, the hiking and camping with my school scouts troop and the eventual december breaks at universities that fast signaled my unwillingness to return home for holidays anymore. decembers was when the past crumbled slowly, making way to clean slates, to the stronger self.
december was also when love was found and lost.
Wednesday, December 9
im being extra careful of this marriage season (this Indian marriage season). a close friend of mine got married, and which ultimately bringing the number of unmarried dudes in my circle to less than 5. dangerous times. thats not even scary, but considering a couple of my cousins will be married in the coming year, im practically walking the plank above the sea of marriage oblivion here.
im just wondering how many more years i can keep escaping this dicey issue, claiming of 'some plan I have to be successful in life' or 'my ultimate mission is to save the world'. they didn't buy it the first time, they never will. impending doom.
Tuesday, December 8
i've been reading through my past posts in anticipation of reaching a milestone in the weeks to come. reading old posts brings back good memories and at the same time clearly defines the linguistic hurdles that we sometime work past in our writings. basically put, the english have improve tremendously, but the flow suffered. ideas seemed to be much more fluent before, and engaging.
the good thing about broken flow in today's posts is that we let the readers expand the ideas themselves. each sentence has the potential to spawn greater depth, spiral into greater complexity or just present the qualities needed to branch of new schools of thought.
Saturday, November 14
new worlds, cities and beyond. an informal meeting of old friends, old stories, old cities, old ideas. so we were driving back in memories along the same path to reach this new city. that we left 20 years ago and imagining how it all would have changed. we find this new buildings and facades and cascading fountains and led lights and floating ad boards and nestled in all this electronics are those old streets and stores and restaurants and your barber shop. so he asked what does it all mean? is this really 2020?
defining moments, who we are. we are creators of this century old cities, and then we tweak and turn things to make the engines work churning out millions of new stories each day so that those new souls can remember what is the past while contributing just as we did to the future and all the while sitting along the seashores watching the waves hit and carry away tiny pebbles one by one. then finally one day the dream ends. we did not age, the cities crumble, the future just decays one particle at a time.
//finding meaning for the existence. part one.
Saturday, October 24
Sunday, September 27
Tuesday, September 22
the decline of reasons. i look back to find my mistakes. i could not solve it for it has happened. solving it would not absolve the future either.
finding reasons. so we were there sitting along the banks of the mighty river, in a distance the thundering fall echoes a deep yet melodious vibration. mingling with the lights of fireflies and sounds of fog brushing and caressing dew drops. around us meadows with blue flowers, and when morning comes it turns white. many reasons are always there, even before events unravel.
the rarity of reasons. for some moments in time we loose every causal link to the past and future. those moments bring no reason, it must have some but it doesn't have to be there. beautiful moments. during this moments of rarity, we just live freely, wandering and wondering about this big bold world. a beautiful colorful tapestry, during every morning and a cool night during every sunset. it comes and it leaves, leaving traces unsatisfactory. when the age ends, we scramble and scrape every existence out there to bring out the sight and sound and smell of lost memories to live it one more season.
seasons, rarity of reasons
Sunday, September 13
they sat there by the shores, looking up at the majestic nebula painted skies. life has led them wandering over many worlds, searching through time and many creations. colonies of humans set forth to every corner of the galaxy building new empires dreaming of everlasting civilizations. future histories written and for time eternity not shared among us, humans. life has found new shores, the heart remain lost. solitude cities bathed by ancient photons in many new solar systems, neon streets connecting pockets of hungry minds. great archeological discoveries litter the galactic museums, given prominence standing among earths greatest treasures. we still marvel this great universe, leaping from one insignificant time point to another. hungry and unsatisfied.
and the question remains, where are they, the ancient gods.
Saturday, September 12
people fall for the same trick, again and again and again...
dont they know the punishment for blindly following the wrong truth is death? and the person using trust as a weapon will have to pay for it for eternity.
there is still one way to end all this. ask for forgiveness and we shall put all behind.
Tuesday, September 8
Tuesday, September 1
Sunday, August 30
i have drawn lines and paths and words in the darkness to show that there is a way for anything to happen and everything to be solved. i have been fortunate of all the love in life that everyone who understood me showed me. i have been in the kind eyes of them to see that i needed help, and they took me in to connect the lines to make sure i achieve the many things i aspire to do. i have tried and gave my best, and i am still lost. i cant stand the pain that even after a good many years of doing what i do, taking care, building character and living up to their standards, i am still pushed back like some burned match stick, whos' use are sometimes only witnessed by those who pick them up from the streets from random admiration. what more and what else can i do, i am lost today.
today, i feel the world has left me somewhere that i cant crawl back. i look ahead towards some charted fate knowing this life will go on at its will. i feel the things that will happen, will take its course, as it was determined on some slate. i have no control. i have been drawn in some pages to live till the eventual. i have no control of anything, i have made bad choices, i have begged forgiveness from god. all i want is to change the people close to me so that they can live a good life. in all this circus they continue everyday to live careless, to not see the virtues of what it would be to not live a lonely and painful. they have everything their way and yet they waste away. i only want to see them be grateful for what they are having, what they receive everyday. it pains me to see them waste their able lives, it pains not to be able to influence them of the good that they can live to see in this world. i feel numb to see them rot away. i don't want to give up hope on them, but maybe, a day will come when they are what they wished to be. and i will not be alive to see them and be happy. i am lost and dying in the darkness.
`the days when beautiful thoughts are shared among their friends and family, they don't know the dynamics of how that came to be. i know how it will be tomorrow, when even them brothers will laugh and dismiss me away for after all i have do is not remembered anymore. let it be the time they look back, when im gone to know that i did all i could and they have forgotten to take me in when i needed everyone the most.
Thursday, August 27
Now I realize the only way to write a blog post resides in finding the Time to write it. And all along, the experience of the moments we wish to describe withers away from words, living only in random memories, and future histories.
[-/] welcome back Miladysa :)
Saturday, August 15
after a while even the noise of silence gets boring, and sometimes even the blind get perturbed by the immaturity some display of not seeing the obvious.
and in this pile of decomposing human thoughts, the only certainty is that there are still good blogs in some faraway corner of the streets, occasionally.
Tuesday, August 11
life is made of never ending stories of finding, living, misplacing and loosing love.
[#] Uravugal Thodarkhatai is a timeless masterpiece by Raja, was telling a friend today that i want this as my death song :) probably the people then would surmise my life accordingly.
Thursday, August 6
hiked the pacific crest trail today, its one of the national scenic trails in California. Jim and I started at 7000 feet elevation, the hike is for about 10 miles and the highest point is 8950 feet right before the end. It took me about 6 hours to complete the 10 miles hike, Jim was of course an expert on the trails and ended up about half an hour before me :)
The total length of the PCT is 2650 miles with snow covered mountains during winter, and generally a pleasant and beautiful hiking trails during normal season. Beautiful wildflowers, blue skies and the occasional bears and mountain lions (which we most probably wont ever see during daytime).
was dreaming for so long on doing the Appalachian trails, the PCT is a dream come true, thanks to Jim :)
Monday, August 3
Saturday, August 1
and you sit there at the side of the road looking at them walk by along with time. you look down at their footprints, and all you see is your past walks.
and when the next city comes 10000 miles after, you see a whole new existence. erasing the past days and from the fractured time lines you pick the sharpest shards to carve out new footprints.
you create the paths, you walk on it and it goes on. for the many cities in that million year journey, the many miles in a godless universe. you only see things that brings awe.
writing a thesis on the life of a time traveler.
Wednesday, July 29
im not sure if some ghost has been following me around in this trip, or was it the same one thats been following me a decade now. crazy stuff i tell you. not a moment passes that i feel 'not alone' wherever i go. try figuring that out.
Tuesday, July 28
the market is flooded, inundated by wet ears. theyre welcome to come, but then there must be some space for the experienced to do their stuff. hence, to put it all together, the new client comes, and learns the process and immediately wants cheaper people. because they want many brains working on the same thing, to get a well rounded result, rather than one person dictating whats good and not for the market. theyre gonna pay, lets say 2 cents for each person in the process, and then keep 90% of the profit to themselves. for doing what? for getting the customer. how on earth do anyone come up in this kind of market?
Friday, July 24
and when the layers end, and the circle's big enough to cover your immediate reach, how do you retrace back the magic, the warmth and security that those past circles provide. its not about finding humans, its about finding certain assurance when we peek into the corner and find a new world. each time.
its a nice feeling :)
so, tell me how do you live your surroundings, your worlds?
Thursday, July 23
Tuesday, July 21
on other steps; i made a pact with a buddy of mine that if i ever get tired of life or whatever im doing, im just going to backpack and roam the world. its possible, cant make everyone happy all the time. so the best thing is to stay away from the negative ones, and enjoy the prospects of this chaotic world.
believing that humans are just clinging to people because they cant strike out on their own. others are important, but others need to give a hand in fulfilling the meaning of being together. the years to come will be filled in figuring why some are so easy to get along with and why some build walls.
again, life is not a thesis, and everything else for that matter doesn't need an explanation. what needs certain activity is living the space around us. what does living in the present means? does it mean ignoring all else to strive for our own better future. and where does the better future factor in when everyone has left and you need a helping hand. maybe even a few words of encouragement, do you come back then to say you matter, again?
the final steps are for simple things. simple happiness, simple sorrow, simple love and simple life. the simple things in life, in love, in work and in travels. the days and nights, the midnight star. those kind of things. the wandering mind, the struggling heart, the fighting spirit. all of it.
[/-] future retrospective on a few things, on all things.
Sunday, July 19
in front of my eyes you walked into some distance, then you turned back and returned. my visions are from my dreams. the happiness were only in my dreams, when my eyes stay closed. wasn't it you who made me wake up and achieve those dreams. unknowingly finding tears, in between warm breezes in foreign lands.
like love, those too pass away. withering in the wind, struggling in summers, waning in winter, silent springs and audacious autumns. none so beautiful like the soul you showed me. me only. to know that two people belong together and then to see it break apart and to live the sorrow, mere seasons don't paint absolution for bold dreams of yesterdays.
there was this scape i drew for you. there were mountains in the distance, monsoons from rain forests outside the balcony and when the painting was completed, it drowns even the sound of heavy droplets on still roofs of that beautiful house. built for you and me. and as we walked together into this unending journey, threading, jumping from color to color to see a whole new life awaken.
how i dreamed these pages, how for a year i believed there could be something. how life throws us amazing opportunities, how it brings us amazing people to show the opens doors we frequently ignored. how blissfully ignorant could some minds be to wait for a miracle from the sky, how even that waiting is justified for souls like you to come and show the breaking rays from eternity clouds.
how lovely were you, on that summer day, along the shores of forgotten seas, as you waited for me with faith. how was I to know what words were right and which were wrong. how the minutes became hours and daylight melted away along with the fog. when then night came, and I was still not there, when sanity came and it was too late for me. you left, maybe forever.
it hurts as no one ever understood, no one ever does. for all that had happened in great distances, could have been so much more beautiful from a touch away.
requiem for a life, for love
[#] something random, for a dude who sleeps 3 hours a day, every dream turns amazingly beautiful, amazingly heartbreaking and amazingly weird.
Tuesday, July 7
something about getting older makes you realize that the world is never in pace with you. provided we have in some ways tried to keep pace with the dynamics of humanity, we might have arrived in/ to the future. but then, try however we might, we are always left behind in this game. the world is either too in front of you tomorrow morning, or have stopped catching up with you.
life is full of heartbreaks, just like how we lost yesterday, how we are loosing today. we simply have to live that many days more.
the beauty of working, is the satisfaction that we are doing something more that not doing anything. the happiness is in watching others be happy and proud for us, at us, about us.
always respect, accept and acknowledge those who try. there are shoes, we can never fit in. then there are false shoes, that never exist. but for those who try, and try, and fail and try with tears and blood, their steps make deep impressions on their experience and ours. appreciate their lives. pull someone up. even if it means stopping for a while.
on being honest. we have choices, and that involves removing people who slow you down, or whom tries to stop you. these people are not honest about their lives, nor will they ever be about ours. dont waste time on them. just leave them. if your move is clear, you would know who to leave, who not to. after all, there are only so many tomorrows, and only a lifetime to live and celebrate.
~of love. never give up :)
Friday, June 26
Wednesday, June 24
my take: total crap. but who cares.
Sunday, June 21
Saturday, June 20
We first ventured to the Pedu near the borders of Malaysia/ Thailand about 5 years ago. The highway in the picture was under construction then, and there was an original route that ran through pristine and rare rain forest. It navigates along the Pedu (and Beris )lake which is a huge man made lake. The giant Tualang tree grows in this forests and can reach heights of 250 feet, on which the Asian Rock Honey Bee's build their nests.
I was under the impression that the project was stalled, but today we found out its still going on. This magnificent sunset captured from the highway that was carved out of paradise has a dark agenda hidden beneath it. The original scenic route that passes along the Pedu lake was destroyed to make way for a more direct route. Hills were blasted, and the land was mutilated to build this highway. There are still a few vantage points to view the lake, but the surroundings are gone for good. The lake itself is a famous fishing spot, but the signs of ongoing development, of which, this particular highway has been going on for nearlly 10 years, has damaged the site permanently. I wonder who wants to use this lost highway, since the state itself is very well connected for so many years. And how did a Conservation Forest such as this been allowed to be developed...
I was just chatting with Neha about how our cities and towns are being spaced out, and I guess this will always be a forward development rather than waiting for anyone to take a back step to consider nature. One day you will wake up to see your backyard gone, one day maybe you will step out to an alien land. Think about it...maybe you can change the situation in your communities.
[/] Tualang Tree (with pics)
Thursday, June 18
you are empowered, you are destined to achieve many things from your persistent chiseling on the walls of this universe. you believe and you achieve. you don't have the wrath of god, or the limitations of the society to fear. these are the false prophets. there is a false prophet at every corner of the road and they are there to make you break your promises. the promises you make to yourself everyday, in the morning to make this day the best. you walk your path to achieve your efforts. achieve, and get the results. that's what matters, results. nothing else. the result is the journey, when you stack your results you look at a great journey to the future. no regrets, no wrath, no vengeance just you and your world and the ones who are happy for you. take not a step backward. beware of false prophets. but don't be afraid of them.
(i don't have disclaimers for this post, these words are collections of wisdom's from my research years, from many nights of deciphering humans and the universe)
Tuesday, June 16
Thursday, June 11
the tanjung dawai sunset is (or was) as illusive as ever. after trying for ages, finally managed to capture one without cloud cover at all. it was really a sight to behold.
[more in my Flickr]
[+] seriously swamped with work, managed to get my projects set, company setting up nicely. working on some neat ideas to be launched very soon :) Oh btw...the new iPhone 3GS has a Malay UI. Hoping for Indian languages next year. :)
Sunday, June 7
today i experienced the most ethereal feeling ever in a very long time. something akin to the passing time stopping still, having no meaning to an everlasting night. the darkness and the stars the only constant in this still world. what mattered were the humans, and the minds that roam the universe.
and among all this, among lost voices, serene starscapes, cool breezes and magical music, i felt the fragility of the human spirit, in me. never having the ability to know if things are happening too fast, developing out of control, for the good or for worst, the feeling of being fragile is similar to death.
Thursday, June 4
a ghost call woke me up, but there were no flash of light or even the magical beginning of fort minors where'd you go. its another day i woke up in my dream. this lucids are getting too chaotic, im loosing control over the places i want to travel.
knowing well im paralyzed in the real world and sensing only the humid air blown around by the ceiling fan which have been torturing itself for weeks now to bring some sanity to me. it is my marker to know whether im awake or not. it too failed me alot of times. i never know when im awake, i would just be falling out of dreams for hours before something real, some human wake me up.
this happened around December last year, the ghost call. i woke up, no calls and went to the window. it was a beautiful day and in the far horizon I could see wind swept mountain tops. the details were mesmerizing as the soft ice blankets are blown in slow motion into nothingness. it is a dream, i realized, but not the one i set out to live that night. i went out of the front door just to watch in fleeting moments the mountains and white snow changing into glass structures of buildings and houses. people were looking at the sky. i could see some of the usual characters of my lucids together with me now. the blue sky was rendered cloudless in a few seconds as bright flashes of light swept from all corners of the world. people were still affixed at the sky experiencing the whole event, speechless i can only assume. in a minute or two the clear ultra blue sky turned silvery grey and then blobs of what may be particles or nano machines appeared. they were slowly eating the sky and in the breaks were fire akin to the boiling surface of the sun. in that moment of panic i woke up. i had the same dream repeating twice more. then it ended.
probably it was a vision of end days when the sun swallows the near planets of the solar system.
[more strange days]
Wednesday, June 3
Tuesday, June 2
Sunday, May 31
so he began another day in his eternal quest for the restaurant at the end of the universe, perched high on a mountain, looking over rainbow toned fog invaded valleys and distant waterfalls swaying in slow motion, akin to satin shawls caressed by wind from shoulders of maidens in their own weekend dreams. and it repeats ad infinitum, for months.and the days, when turning into night, just during the 5 minutes period when the mighty sol sets into the edge of water, the sea and waves appeared calm, reflecting an electric blue hue, with just a touch of orange sliver all the way from space to me, completing a magical evening dream.back in time, thousands of revolutions around the sun, in the mighty jungles of panthers and headhunters, the roar of giant waterfalls from tepuis pricking the forever clouds of centuries of rain, he emerged stealthily, in his blue jeans, black t and a nikon. hunting.first tonight, he has to sleep. to complete his current lucid, for he has stories to tell, too many.
Wednesday, May 27
in the beginning when i started blogging, i was mad about everything on the web, i quoted a lot of other writings, poems and images. i still do this, but now I do it in facebook; that is one platform you can trash out stuff, and live to see it burn. people take what they want, and if they dont want it, they can ignore it, and you cant expect them to complain about it on facebook or twitter - these are just tools, you dont like it, you leave.
if you stay long enough in the web world, you expect to mature in blogging and eventually you might offer streamlined content with 'your' brand. quoted writings will make way for your own stories and poems, and you will be capturing the world with your camera and present beautiful images from your point of view, from your moments. your experience will be translated into books, albums, music, etc. it is a great thing if you can achieve this, and it happens only when you know your audience. you collect the best opinions, and it shapes your creative output. the best audience you have, your true friends, will encourage the perfect output they see you are capable of. this is why you need your target audience.
its good after a few years of blogging to have your target audience. it wont take long to realize who among your readers like what kind content. when you have web Readers, regular users will have the patience to sieve through each blog and read what they want. but at most times, there will be many passable posts, contents. this is where you must find some responsibility of knowing what to write, when to write and to whom you target it. it is your blog, but when its public space, people do get bored. many will leave, and trust me, that is a good thing. the more you shed unwanted readers, the better your writing experience will be. some readers will have an expectation from you, and they will get frustrated on the rants and whines (me, guilty as ever), on the hate posts, on the broken records, etc. if you know your target audience, you will reduce this and in time know from heart your best offerings, your true capabilities.
so, you want to make a presence, and get something good out of this web experience, know your audience. faking it wont help, don't live in a perpetual tangent trying to accommodate certain viewpoints only. you cant get good posts all the time, so take time off, requote old writings, repost old writings, and yes go back to old habits sometimes, post good stuff from others. but keep in mind, the current scenario of web; people just dont care. your circle gets small, especially if its a reading circle. flickr expands because each image is a post with no commitment, you look you like you comment you leave. blog posts require attention and time that the readers dont have, even when they have web Readers. the next time you post, get organized. if you are good at writing stories, get a separate blog for stories only, same with poems, and images. and have one blog where you write the everyday stuff, and promote your speciality writings in this blog, as excerpts, and invite your audience to what they want only, and they will definitely be happy to come again, knowing you are in control of your digital footprint.
Monday, May 25
Sunday, May 24
there is something about falling down that is so painful that eventually you become numb of the pain. but there is no numbness when you get back up and finish your task. then we will see who made what mistake. celebrate now sinners, i know i will live to see the day of retribution.
Tuesday, May 19
[+] Crissy Field
Friday, May 15
lets sail the high seas!
(i agree, we need bigger boats)
what if we hit a sand bank? or a fog bank?
or a storm? or pirates?!
or crazy crew mates? hungry cannibalistic crews? seasick sailors?
do we bring pets too?
which sea do we start with?
do we need passports for every sea border we sail into?
(too many unknowns....)
Wednesday, May 13
the one bloom, originally uploaded by Ghost Particle.
the greatest thing to learn from our travels are the people we meet. they are bundles of great inspiration, energy and love. the nomads. I'm truly happy and honored to know each and everyone i met during this past two years who have for the good, shaped my career and life. in finding missing memories of the past that we find fluent futures built on the strongest foundations. rejoice in knowing that every step you take will eventually lead to new minds, and a land open vast and waiting to accept you.
Tuesday, May 5
Requiem for a Passing
Your words walk from land to land
Stories vibrate among friends who band
Images of lilies born and beautiful being faint
March streams washing pebbles sometimes quaint
Moist eyes leave behind sparks of life undone
Your shadow casts rain and painted sunshine
Ages crawl and disappear across worlds
Desert nomads journey spreading heralds
Lone bagpiper with a song in passing
On mountains shadowy angels amassing
Your touch reminds her of eras in gathering
Drummers with an anthem of pitiless feeling
Memories floats away with an unheard motivation
In majestic ships with sailormen since foundation
Miniature leaves descending from willows decaying
Your name written in destiny gradually parting
A silent mutiny yesterday being legendary
Among women and children building a majestic scenery
Jaded soldiers holding fallen enemies, blinded by human spirit
Tranquil seasons when you are born again in memories.
[#] wrote this so long ago, unedited.
Tuesday, April 28
the only reason we do everything and anything to help someone is because we don't want to loose them. its not even faith anymore, its just the fear of waking up another day and finding an empty heart in us. and a love lost forever.
Wednesday, April 22
[my flickr - san francisco]
there is an interesting conundrum here, whether we stop to appreciate the world, or we stop to take photos of the world. the level of satisfaction differs greatly for both. some magic can only appear on slates of digital images. but the real magic comes from the memories of time that never passes.
Friday, April 17
Only the sunshine State and the beautiful city of Cupertino keeps me alive. And the lovely people here :)
See you soon.
Monday, April 13
Monday, April 6
they do still make good movies and there are still bloody good actors. such a simple, straightforward, unpretentious, good movie. how many followed smith during his fresh prince days and thought he will become this big? the number one actor in the world. raw talent :)
do watch it. not to be missed.
[+] seven pounds, will smith.
Sunday, April 5
Friday, April 3
[Flickr - Photon Dreams]
I dont visit blogs anymore, Google Reader does everything and more. You dont have to wait ages for the blog link to open, just put everything into the Reader and live there.
Why Facebook is nice...I can share all the links and videos I want in a few seconds! Tada! I'll stay there for a while more, before coming back to blogging.
Google is buying Twitter. All the Birds! I dont know what it means, but I bet there will be some clean and simple Gtalk Twitter integration (was the function already there and I missed the boat?)
I worked a total of 90 hours since Monday. I dont feel so good, even with all the paperless 'jamming' going on, the tasks are stinging slow! I get atleast 10 emails per hour from the clients, and not even half of it are for real jobs!
For the Nth time this year, my ISP failed me. The wires to US and Hong Kong (which represents almost all of our connection to the 'websites from the west' (heh!) is down! I cant read my comics! oh and do work :(
Coupled with the fcking Telco. It takes a good 15 minutes for an SMS to leave the phone...15 minutes!!!!
Everyone who knows about next week, wish me luck. Friends who dont know, ask me :P
I'm happy, worked hard for it, hope I make it :) And I cant thank enough the two person who made it happen for me over the years. More about them in the future.
[#] Changed my avatar pic after nearly 5 years. I want a new, futuristic avatar. Either I draw it myself or am going to commission it...any takers (please don't quote me high).
Wednesday, April 1
Tuesday, March 31
I still don't see a point in this Earth Hour thingy, but well done on the marketing, and everything. Big Corps have perfected the idea of mass brainwashing. I just hope WWF managed to get what they want from this because I'm dead sure that no amount of Earth Hour will reverse any Global Warming, etc.
[+] travelers; Sandra, Indran, Lina, Ghost
Wednesday, March 25
leave that aside. what i realized from this internet circus is that (i) material by women, (ii) heavy shiny expensive stuff and (iii) blinding idol-ism is worshiped. good things are not. don't hate me for the women part. it is not a generalization, its just another make believe culture of this world, magical sedimentary remains from an era of absolution seeking tribes who want to say they respect equal right, and in that sense look for the extra bit of skin, in pretext.
these are harsh words to describe the evolution of internet phenomenon such as flickr, blogs, and social networks. about flickr, a buddy of mine mentioned that, everyone is seeking fame, everyone wants to be the best. about (ii) vj said that flickr is camera biased, the bigger the dslr you have, the more mindless comments you get. and (iii) speaks for itself.
what is so strange is that, I have met and interacted with women whom doesnt not carry the trait of 'girls in rappers videos' to loosely quote Pink. smart, intelligent and determined women. hence, why am I, in the process of seeking my own fame_dom in this world of photography, free verse and story writing am bogged down by nonrecognition of raw talents, because of the 3 things above.
so i am part of this internet freak show. i am seeking something else, i am charting the evolution of internet itself, over my-lifetime.
the road in this day and age is slow. technology is not. pharmaceuticals have been achieved and sitting in vaults, because global warming is busy evolving diseases for medicines that have been discovered years ago. technology will reach an idea of singularity, not singularity itself, in my lifetime. deducing this is simple, as everything else in this world right now runs on speculation. speculative life, speculative relationship and speculative money. there are two ways, one is to beat the future, another is to slow down and let it overtake you. in one you invent what you want to consume, in the other you consume the leftovers.
so there might not be a clear line in this, but what you must seek is how the internet can interact and lift your heredity skills that you are slowly discovering into heights of excellence. dont act like romans when being rome, don't be a drone.
hope some of us get a picture of the game. the road is something we have to invent ourselves. for the rest, just move on with life, maybe the mundane make belief world is enough for you.
In the flow, let me present you again, my masterpieces;
[Feast of Minds]
Tuesday, March 24
there was a time in this corner of the this grand universe when i was a fierce fan boy of X-files (the kind that fights with friends if they say anything bad about Mulder and Scully). But even that doesn't explain how Garfield got raped into this masterpiece. As you can observe, it was torn to pieces when I went to Uni, I managed to find the pieces and paste it back together. Fox Garfield Mulder, a fans tribute, from a weird childhood.
[#] Am being forced to clean my old stuff or they will throw it away. All of em. :(
Saturday, March 21
not over yet. it took me a while, but then i realized, this fun in solitude is no fun at all. pretentious marauding packs of humans who hunger for another hour in a day. and when you step outside the frantic bubble keeping your emotional distance away, there are no lessons to be learned for the outsider. the world is lame. the Internet is crowded, packed with redundant data, advertisements, political trash and every ingredient out there to make this a digital slum. imagine, a world, walled, littered with gods, nodes connecting homes where you live, die. pockets of rich living in bubble networks, scums of the earth living in decaying electron caves. fire, and snow in distances evoke strange metallic memories of the future, collapsing and returning to the past. each day, sun rise and sunset wither in offices, unimportant shadows remind us of them. and the journey continues to find a niche to survive the demanding years, where bubbles will burst, leaving yet again a decapitated future once dreamed as our savior.
Thursday, March 12
in perpetual uncertainty over everything. read blogs, didn't comment on any. i've lost my ability to write full sentences (except now and here, for some reason). been awake for 18 hours now, not good. kicking my self, again, for something(s) that happened last year. sudden outbursts in f.o.m will surely turn into a storm soon. i mainly exist in facebook, flickr and emails right now. i can't think of anything else that needs less words than pictures. i take good photos. got many things done, except maybe sleep, which i am not able to 'achieve'. in perpetual sickness. i try and try and i'm still unable to erase the pain. the next guy who comes to me with a business proposal will be killed. salvation comes, in solitude. the unending evenings and forever nights are well alive. am not going to turn this into a poem. this is post 928 by the way, the number means nothing. such strange path you have, wonder how i chose to fit in and not make it right. the sound of silence. gradual insanity. perpetual chaos. broken causality. i am nuts. good morning.
Saturday, March 7
Monday, March 2
~Come On, Come Out by A Fine Frenzy
~Almost Lovers by A Fine Frenzy
[+] A Fine Frenzy
[+] Alison Sudol
refreshing to hear :)
[+] great voice, great songs, great videos, great lyrics...time to start digging more alternatives!
Saturday, February 28
I found my scrapbook from 12 yeas ago!
high school, basketball diaries, angry teachers, crazy friends, bicycles, motorbikes, first love, ditching school, forever fields, oh my god!
When the air was still pristine,
the Internet was a less corrupting force,
X-files was still on air,
Everyone had a license to be naive, and
I was plotting World Domination!
Sniff sniff...happy tears.
i forgot I was an epic dreamer even back then! wohooo!
[+] am gonna make the book disappear for another...10 years! :D Have a safe safe weekend my friends, wherever you travel, in whatever you do and whoever you meet, just pass the love and thank this world for everything you have. And remember: Rule The World!
Monday, February 23
Kate Winslet! WOHoooo! Damn you Sean Penn...! Another way to win the Oscars, play Gay! grrr!
Slumdog has won 8/10 including best picture. Danny Boyle...beat David Finch for the Best Direction Oscar...oh my god! WTF!
Still the Dark Night Rules!
Ok folks, shows over, get back to work!
If he wins, its euphoria
If he doesn't win, I bet there will be protests, even riots!
I, though I so do love ARR music, wants Peter Gabriel to win for his amazing 'un-fusioned" song from Wall-E!
I dont want Slumdog to win because the fcking Oscar committee didn't nominate MY Dark Knight! (dont try to figure this out)
Where were those days when we watched movies for its beauty, message, and good acting and fine songs (I am Indian btw) instead of movie politics.
I just found out I'm the only one in my family and possibly the clan who hasn't watched Slumdog Millionaire. It felt like being an outcast last night, watching Liverpool blow another match while everyone at home were talking about Slumdog and Rahman! I wished it was Saturday night, had loads of fun being alone. Taking pride for a movie made not by your countrymen! Bleh! We make 900 movies a year and some dude made the best movie ever of Mumbai? Oh wait, damn...Gandhi was not local either! Maniratnam should have won Oscars a long time ago! Oscar talks...god I so dont want to hear my grandma say it next....that will be the day!
What's sadder... there will be power cuts the whole morning till afternoon today! No Oscars bah! I so wanted to watch Hugh Jackman...damn dude...All the best!
Have a happy Monday guys!
Oh and GO KATE WINSLET and MICKEY ROURKE!
Wednesday, February 18
where is the innocence in blogging? I had a good talk with Karthi back in Bangalore. It all makes sense now, there is just too much repeating info online that we are not using this medium for something good. By good means, by spreading pristine, new info. We cant do that all the time, but at least there must be some way to seep in some innocence into posts. Even simply uploading a picture tells some well grounded, beautiful information about people to people. In the future I hope to quote well written posts from time to time. Blogging is about aggregating the best you find out there. Right now, I cant find more than a dozen or so really good blogs, written from raw experience, from the heart except for the blogs of Kavi sir, Jeevan, Miladysa, Neha (dgypsy), Nachi (even if he writes like once in a hundred years!)., Donn 'the Man' Coppens, Gautami., Pauline and a few more. I'd love to see Alok, Nayan, Pallavini and the rest of the old school gang come back blogging. We are loosing an artform taken over and trashed by...*gasp* Zombie Teenagers! It feels like damn Friendster in here sometimes...urgh. Im not going to blog jump at random anymore.
oh btw, I think 2/3 of the good folks who won the Guess 2 competition got their books last week. Pardon my gift wrapping skills, I suck at that. Yes. I still have many more unclaimed, please please do buzz me with your addresses. If you dont want any books, I can get you Pro accounts for Flickr, or anything else of the same value through Paypal. BUZZ ME.
cheers folks. I need a week or two more to return to routine, hopefully with something better to write.
and its fever season...wishing speedy recovery to all you who are down with the flue, fever, etc. The best medicine is to drink ice cold water :D
If you're not bored with me yet:
Sunday, February 15
something that permeates existence
that i learned, and lived
wishing for full abandon
of the chains of destiny and fate
dreaming and living
to see this scapes
history and culture
in each jump
among the sands of time
you find miracles
that teaches more
than your age
in this world
Wednesday, February 11
Monday, February 9
Ghosting Thanjavur on the Chola trail
visiting the greatest works of the Tamil civilization
and some of the most beautiful and important temples
in Trichy, Tanjavur, Kumbakonam and Chidambaram
[+] The Brihadisvara Temple at Thanjavur, the Brihadisvara Temple at Gangaikondacholisvaram and the Airavatesvara Temple at Darasuram are World Heritage Sites.
[#] Will update my flickr later on, sieving through 2000 photos will take time :D
[#] Travelers Ghost, Saravanan, Padmanathan, Sri Hari
Friday, February 6
along mysterious trails
among the canopies
shards of rays
from broken symmetries
of the leaves
illuminate the creatures
of the forest floor
and the smile
on your face
as i held out my hand
and led you to heavens
i cant forget
as it haunts me
in many dreams
in different days
Wednesday, February 4
you may try to silence the tigers. you may succeed. but you cant silence the Tamil spirit. we will seek peace and life, from where ever we are, we will seek the rights for a homeland for our nameless brothers and sisters from Lanka.
the sri lankan army and the sinhalese government are involved in ethnic cleansing. in the name of liberating the Tamil minority from the clutches of LTTE, many generations of Tamils from Lanka are killed and exterminated by pure political greed of the sinhalese government. the tigers, whom they portray as enemies and terrorist actually appear as saviors of the Tamil voices of Jaffna from the sure genocide that was started decades ago by the sinhalese government. today we see even the mighty tigers pushed to the brink. Who is left now to defend the Tamils in Lanka?
though the world is blinded today, from many genocides across the world, history will be our witness. peace will happen, and the masters of greed today will see their ideologies burn on the roads to the future.
lets stay united for world peace.
[disclaimer] i do not condone or support terrorist acts, at the same time, i wont stay silent watching genocide unfolding in front of our eyes. why ask us to shed tears for Gaza when the Tamils of Lanka and the souls of Darfur are murdered. what makes one dead body more precious than the other. speak out, for only this remains our last hope for positive outcome.I welcome balanced, intelligent conversation and comments. everything else will be deleted, especially politically motivated, religiously fueled and racially 'polluted' comments.
Tuesday, February 3
Friday, January 30
...hoping for everything to end fast, end good.
~find me here, for short eternities
[feast of minds]
in my magnetic drives
throws us back a lifetime
into the warm evenings
of the rain forests
and misty, cold
ghosts of generations
runs past, unrelenting, blind
as we struggle
in this staggering world
to live another beautiful eternity
maybe this end
~and no rebirths
Monday, January 26
somebody must do something to 'enliven' the government museum in Chennai
what on earth am I doing going to museums anyway!
[#] in future memories of the Smithsonian and the Louvre and the Egyptian museum...
Wednesday, January 21
We, the people of earth, welcome President Obama
....get ready for an amazing ride guys!
...in the timeless words of Robin Williams, 'the reign of error has ended!'
Despite the doom and gloom of everything this year,
Obama brings so much hope, it genuinely feels inspiring seeing the man take oath and the new first family :)
Its going to be a great 2009
Air and Simple Gifts - John Williams
Yo-Yo Ma, Itzhak Perlman, etc
Monday, January 19
sandstone sculpture, Kailasnatha temple, 8th century AD.
he does look like Horton right...? :P
[#] Travels in Kanchipuram, travelers: Sri Hari, Padmanathan, Vanathi, Ghost, Kumar, Murthy.
[#] Will update the rest of the pictures in my flickr very soon. [Ghost Flickr]
Friday, January 16
is rocking :)
in our hearts
in tomorrowsthere is something about Chennai that makes you want to come over and over again...
(was standing too far at the back, no closeups)
here's the video from my cell :)