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Showing posts from September, 2008


leavin on a jet plane...

@hey guys, drop me a mail for an invite to the travel blog; ghosting india.
Mail: humanuniverse @

Evening Rain

I realized last night was the last time I'm sleeping in this apartment. Since yesterday I'm telling everyone, this is the last time I'm going to use this road, this is the last time im taking this stairs, this is the last time I'm going to see this plant... sigh...

There is like 12 hours left and I'm still working with 3 deadlines left to cover.

My Wifi ID is 'Ghost_Wifi', hence now we know how the ghosts came about to my apartment.

V: r u confused GP?
Ghost Particle: yes
V: how long u r confused?
Ghost Particle: 29 years
V: smart answer

Suddenly backpacking is not backpacking anymore when the packed bags are jumbo sized and you have like a dozen 'excellent' contacts already waiting for you :( or :)

Haven't read the camera manual yet, shooting blind. Leaving the tripod behind.

Haven't been able to give a straight answer to the question of: 'Why are you going there?'

Don't know who is happy and who is not that I'm leaving now.

Apparently …

Dont Dream Its Over

~ Another blast from the past. Didn't switch on the car radio all day, and when the fingers accidentally hit the button this timeless song was playing. Its been good many years since I've listened to it or remembered to have listened to it. This is one great song by Crowded House, I liked a few from them, but the lyrics for 'Don't Dream Its Over' just tells so much. This song is still a defining favorite from the past for me.

There is freedom within
There is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a papercup
There's a battle ahead
Many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
while you're traveling with me
Hey now, hey now
Don't Dream It's Over~There was a time when the DJ's know your name, especially when you call at 3 am shouting out hello's to everyone sleeping :p. They defined my schooling years, taught me English and made me experience a new world without faces...a much deeper world They were the Internet of those times,…

Thank you / Goodbye

Thank you Honda!
I know its like 6 days away, but the 'prosperity' Asimo just made my day!
Well...if you really want to...I mean for next year...I do have a place in the house for the real android! :p
Power of Dreams indeed.

Meet Indran, my cousin brother.
Been with me forever, never says no to help me,
never ceases to smile even in the hardest of times.
Some goodbyes will be hard, but kindred spirits will always be together.

[#] How long does it take, for you to realize some have been there for you forever? How long does it take for you to let them know, they matter? How long will they stay with you, to tell you that you are on the right path?

Perfections / Rainy Nights

i tried listening
in momentary silence
to the raindrops
bathing my isolated hut
deep in the forest

i noticed a rhythm
patterns permeating space
a connection between
the darkness, roof and me
with living sound waves

as the drops
blind to me
continued to caress
the flat spaces it touches
then the rhythms
still alive, turned
from mechanical to chaos
still refracting
from chaos to construct
still flowing
from construct to life
from the air to the darkness
from my ears to my eyes

the ground wet
from tiny streams and lakes
to puddles in the morning
but we still did
navigate adventures in dreams
on those small lake worlds
feeling as young
as yesterday.
~i came back late last night.
walking alone in the forest, under the beautifully painted milky way
the skies that belong to all us
to my place
hanging from the tall mountains
along with other scattered inhabitants of
marvelous journeys, taken and ended.
we rest here.
sharing bonfire stories.
as solitary lights, bathe them and then comes the rain washing them away.
day after day, at n…

Rest in Peace, Sylvia

Like a million daggers, piercing each and every cell, the visions of a million stars burning bright, collapsing atoms and dreams. I imagined starving children in the desserts of Sudan while digging into my gourmet meals, imagined blown up pseudo martyrs in the streets of uncultured lands and rotting corpses while enjoying my evening drink. In quantum seconds, vivid imagery of stories danced merrily in the columns of sun on the forest floors, trampling on memories of yesterdays. I woke up today, dressed up and walked out of the apartment. I stood under the sun, praying in silence to the sun God, so that everyone will have a good day. I turned back, and in the minutes to come the sadistic part of my brains and memories wished something else. I cursed to the driver who drove close to me, I wished the idiots who throw rubbish out of the window that they die. My memories are rigged with diabolic sadomasochistic inventions on how to torture the souls of devils. The living devils of this wor…

Wind Divers

*higher contrast

Indran, in the background are fishing boats returning to the jetty, at around 6.30 pm.

Mountains give me life.

[#] my first ever photo trip with the new D60...i think it turned out ok. Still haven't read the manual!!!! :P and the dark pictures are still plaguing I need more of something to make the pics turn balanced and bright. HELP ME! :D
[#] Btw, pics are not proccesed (except the one marked), jst resized. If anyone wants a bigger sized snap of any of the photos here, jst leave a comment.

Travelers: Indran, Kumar, Vj and Ghost


a late phone call yesterday...
hey...did you know, Tesla died a miserably lonely death. Yes...i read him once. And? And...what? I know you are trying to equate something here, but I don't understand it. Don't go when you are not ready. I will never know when I'm ready. And he is Tesla, he never did die! We shall see. I'm just another one in the mass, the world prevails. Save that for when we meet, wont do justice over the phone. Ok, but its good to know that you thought about this as much as I did, never figured you would care. The hints were there for like what...years now? Heh!

Golden Years

we live in the same world
and your stories are the same as mine
the steps we take travel the same path
beautiful days dawn at the same time
fall colors create the same paintings
do we see the same sky?

[#] Ive purchased a DSLR recently, wonder what worlds it will reveal. Ive also used a few point and shoots along the years, but there is one snap that will forever remain the one I like most, my very first snap of a (late) sunset in Tanjung Dawai, Kedah, taken on a 3.2 mp Kodak Easyshare back in 2003...during my first ever photo trip. The poem is a repost.

Travelers: Vj, MJ, Ghost

GO Diablo!!!

Ok, I fcking love this post of hers:

[Read the full, you will like it too]

I'm sorry that while you were shooting your failed opus at Tisch, I was jamming toxic silicon toys up my ass for money. I get why you're bitter. I took exactly one film class in college and-- with the curious exception of the Douglas Sirk unit—it bored the shit out of me. I also once got busted for loudly crinkling a bag of Jujubes during a classroom screening of Vivre Sa Vie. I don't deserve to be here. We've established that. But I'm here. Five million 12-year-olds think I'm Buck Henry. Accept it.

Listen: I've been telling stories my whole life. Even when I was a phone sex operator, I was the Mark Twain of extemporaneous jerk-off fiction. I took every perspiring creep on a fucking journey. I don't know how to do anything else. There are more gems like this in her post, read on.

[#] So to all the btching bloggers, blogger btching going on out there, blog wars, bahahaha...this i…

Letters to Destiny

Why the sudden plans? I don't know actually, I wanted change. But that's what you've been talking for so long and you are still here. I am stuck, I think of many people. I have to think about many people. They define my life, that's why I'm stuck here. Why don't you think first of what you're asking, I mean what you want. What is there to think, another day is like another dagger into my heart, I cant even focus on what they are asking me to do.Leaving or creating my own space is my plan to overcome this. Don't talk nonsense, you're too young to make this kind of decisions.

They why didn't they let me do it earlier? Maybe it's all for the good, maybe you're still here because of that. I am not blaming anyone, you know this and I know this. We've had this talk long before, I asked for my space and I took it because they were reluctant to give it. And how sure are you that you'll do good this time? I learned a lot from the past fai…


We like fishing. When we were kids the fishes were really easy to get. There were streams and ponds everywhere. We never used fishing rods then. Just a fishing net or sometimes even with our hand, we can get many beautiful tropical fishes. The stakes got higher when we grew up. Everybody is getting fishing rods. So we got ourselves shiny new fishing rods and went fishing in bigger lakes, rivers and even the sea. We got a few, very little actually. Then we realized it was the bait that makes all the difference. So we searched for worms and other live slimy stuff that we can use as baits. Different fishes are attracted to different kind of baits. But the thing is even as we had good baits, we still could not get the prized catches. We see other anglers getting bigger fish. Then we realized it was the technique, and also knowing the kind of bait to use for different situations and different fishes.

It is at this moments you realize who is serious about this exciting hobby and who is not. …


The benefits of being youths living in a lawless world is that, when we see a door... we can kick it open or break it down. But is there still a risk of people saying that we are irresponsible? When we are just trying to open the doors to opportunity, in a society trying to cement such doors shut.

Something about love

There's something about love that makes us want to live it over and over again. Keep going back to the moments and seconds, to the days when we were lost in a beautiful place. The times where everything seems to have fallen in place. Just like opening a good book, again and again over the years. Love might not wait that long, but it does feel the same. Something so refreshing and gives you the life that you much need. Love must be expressed. Not saying it will leave you in despair, saying it will bring uncertainty. And when it comes to letting go, its means lying to ourselves because we are denying something that we have built, something that has happened and something that has indeed started. Its murder.

Something about love that makes you want to live forever. Even if its in memories only. Or something that makes you want to die over and over again to make it happen the right way. I choose to die, that way I can see new worlds.

~A beautiful composition from IR

Uravukal Thodarkathai

The Exorcism

It went well. My plans of not being here did not work, was too curious. Apparently there were a lot of ghosts in the apartment, without 'particles' in its name. My housemate is a true believer now, so I'm guessing he was a dumb nut all this years. Many things cant be understood without seeing it by yourself. I've seen exorcisms before, and sad to say this did not impress me. But what did struck me was the extreme length they went to do it. I hope my neighbors don't ask anything about it. And the chicken was not slayed, they let it go.

How does it work? There are elements of channeling, dream interpretation, retracing your life and if we can related some of it to black magic, then it was used as well. Despite them claiming its all for the good, I think I know what all this is. I did not seek to see about the ghosts myself, I think I know the answers to this already. Most probably I will have a ghost following me too and I need to be cleansed as well. But the shaman d…

of blogging

Read this brilliant article about blogging and writing and the mechanics of being prolific from Seth Godin's blog. I think everyone serious about blogging and figuring out ways to go forward should read this.
How often should you publish?How many movies should you star in next year?How many records should you release? How many songs should you write?How many times a week should you post to your blog?
[Read Full Post]

The Dark Knight

I watched the movie again last night. One cant really appreciate the sound design the first time. Its just amazing. At the start of the movie everything was silent and slow, how even the zero bgm at certain parts can tell a lot of stories. The whole look of the movie, the color themes and sound/music simply gives an epic feel to the movie, maybe even a slight noir touch to it considering the theme.

What does the movie tell. Again and again its about him not being the hero, he was not supposed to lead. That's the fact. They kinda throw it at you, just subtly. Its a great metaphor for our lives and for the age we live in. It is the age of anarchy and chaos, but the world is bigger than Gotham. We don't see it in open, we don't have to subscribe to it since we're already in the system and slowly strengthening the agents of chaos.

I dont know if the future will still believe in one two white knights, the legends are all dead. It's not enough for a person to change anythi…

What happened next...

It's been 7 years since the 9-11 tragedy. Considering so much that happened after the events, what is still vivid is how the Internet is still commanding the definite retrospective guide of memories of it. If my own memories are still correct, I was online in the computer lab reading Yahoo news breaks when the plane hit. The news was updated probably about 10 minutes after the first plane hit, it was 9 pm here then, 12 hours difference from NY. What first appeared as 'plane reported to have hit the wtc' slowly over the hour changed into a major accident to the days to come as a terrorist attack. All the homes are tuned in to CNN or BBC, even in restaurants who went from their default sports channels to the news channel. And then those stupid ads in the newspaper by the local cable company inviting subscribes with the tagline 'you watched it here first, now get the full package for 24hrs of news reporting' or something like that.

More than that actually, the world po…


what do you do if your housemate tells you that a shaman told him that a poltergeist been living with him since 17!!! theres a real ghost with me?! God!

[update] Okay, now im abit calmer, not blogging with the cell from the middle of the city. The housemate, yes the one I don't like, went to see a shaman a few months back, he discovered he 'picked' up a lady ghost/poltergeist when he was a teen while playing football in some field (yes yes, the shamanic visions are vivid, ud be shocked). I'm not sure how to name it. In Tamil its called a Mohini. And its been following him all over for like 10 years of his life! Apparently it wont disturb others, but then again it wont let him get a girlfriend or get married. And he's seen it before! I don't know how bad this is, but this explains a lot of what ive seen myself and experienced all this years...the shadows, the 'thing' standing at the end of the room... So the shaman has offered to exorcise it, and well mov…

In the Midnight Hour

Learning to live the nights. Everythings beautiful.

Superstar Particles and the End of The World (Maybe)

First beam fired! Woohoo!
LIVE: mms://

Wait...what the...the world did not end, everyone still here. sigh :-(

It's been more than 3 years since I last wrote anything on the Large Hadron Collider, LHC. The ATLAS detector was still being built then, 2005 was the International Year of Physics and there wasn't much fanfare regarding the LHC at all. That is until tomorrow...where the world might end, or some real physics gets done.

And here we go, tomorrow (Sept 10 at CERN, Geneva) the first attempt to circulate a beam around the LHC will take place, which I fail to understand how it could destroy existence in the first place, because the first collision of two beams, or at a target isn't even scheduled until the 28th of October. So everyone still has good time left to do what you love, quit your jobs, etc and wait for the world to end.

What does LHC do or create? For that, we have to go through 1000 pages of Particles and Fields of Phys Rev D…

Back to...


did they make him too cute?

nothing is at peace

after 7 start seeing rabbits?!!!!

and back to the daily routine of
looking at the car and not finding time to drive it!

Rob Costlow

Enchanting Contemporary piano compositions...

Woods of Chaos by Rob Costlow

Malaysian spends 11 months at depot for illegals

The Star: Malaysian spends 11 months at depot for illegals

SEREMBAN: Young mother M. Rajeshvari spent 11 agonising months at the Lenggeng Immigration depot for illegals – all because she could not recall her identity card number and was not fluent in Bahasa Malaysia.

The 22-year-old, who was six months pregnant then, was waiting for a relative at a coffeeshop in Brickfields, Kuala Lumpur, when a raiding police party asked to see her identification card. She could not because she had lost it. Worse, she also forgot the IC number.

[Read Full]

Corridors, Again

The tired days eventually melts away into the deep night. And a new world of dreams emerge like before, ever so often. Sometimes I loose track of time, waking up days before or days in the future. Not knowing the present, all the markers, papers, broadcasts in my travels never echo time or the date. I watch the skies and stars for my direction, my signals.

In one occasion, about a year ago I walked into a long, winding mountain road. A wormhole across the dense jungle all around me, as far as the mind can see. Intermittently waking up, to the rush of the monsoon to close the windows, and in the dream to wind up the car windows. Something soft and warm in the heart about yellow headlights of the car and the shards of raindrops it encounters. All along the route are death stones, more markers of events. A few times I stopped to look at the most vivid ones, the colorful Tibetan prayer flags and sometimes hanging coffins.

The destination emerged out of nowhere at one side of the road, to th…

Of Knowing

Every single time I say I'm not having dinner, my mom would reply 'I'll leave the food on the table'...knowing every single time I say I'm not having dinner, I would definitely eat it.

Shards / Comic - Love / Words


slowly digging through
vivid regoliths of the mind
only to find
shards of sharp judgments
poking every second
for every reason you have
welcoming you to reality
telling you to get over it
or just die



on other days
I see people
collecting jokes
from the scapes
for their own use
to be thrown
at others
as mockery

just wish
they know more
about the pain of others
who are unfortunate enough
not to be able to re-scale their minds
or control its intensity
to receive such jokes
from passerbys
as just words
and it repeats



and i asked
till the day dawned
and a new morning was born
will she ever come
will they ever come
will she ever come back
and he answered
*she comes back to leave again
coz i haven’t changed
and she has not started yet
and I wait
for another lifetime


*words from nayan, thx bro.


there are words
that im searching
waiting ever so hopefully
to fall from the sky
so that I can convince
them to extend deadlines
but all seems futile
as today their minds
are on holiday
and their fingers c…

Anggun Cipta Sasmi - Mimpi

An excellent song by Anggun Cipta Sasmi

Mimpi / Dreams
(English subtitles, bt knowing Indonesian will make the experience a whole lot better)

[#] Anggun is a best selling Indonesian/French artist, she has a stunning unforgettable voice, best known for her song Snow on the Sahara. Check out the rest of her songs in Youtube, I love this version of [Selamanya/A Rose in the Wind].
[#] Anggun Cipta Sasmi means Grace Born of A Dream in Balinese...such a beautiful name. Thx Vj for the pointer/ song.

Into the Unknown

On some trips, I wished the 400 miles were 4000 miles instead. And the moments melt away from cities to small towns to villages and mountains to dense jungles. Occasional lights shining through solitary huts in the middle of isolation forests. On some of this trips I fall asleep and dream of vast scapes of land cleared, their soil laid barren with movers and machines building giant monuments. One vivid memory was a tower which I could not see the top, looked miles high with flying machines buzzing around it. And all around there was no single instance of a tree or plant. The monument builders sometimes looked at us, the passing buses and trains on a the seemingly never ending road. Their eyes were blank, glowing blue grey story machines of this huge task, erecting something for some god.

On another ride in torrential rain, across mountain ranges all I could see was grey scapes blending in the shades of green, of the giant trees standing majestically still in the crushing rain. And belo…