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Showing posts from January, 2008

Of Stories I Never Knew

wish i knew
when principles become ego
or how to hide it
so that no one knows
cant describe
the feelings right now
lets just hope its for the good
amazing how writings
in our minds
can convey emotions
not possible by word
i am silenced by love
by emotions
but this time
there is no solution
no unending horizon
no everlasting sunrise
no mornings
no tomorrows
i am in pain again
wish i can share
the truth
but no
not today
maybe not ever


Went on a short road trip the other day. Sometimes when you look back at the snaps, you can find weird connections. Nostalgic, memories not suitable for this day and age. But it is important because many of us forget our roots.

Rubber plantation, the origins of Malaysian Indians*
Home made puri, to die for. With vegetable curry- 'kirre' curry. One of a few things that keeps me coming home...and then leave yearning not for humans but for 'materials', landmarks in time of people, places, origins.

Can you find your connection in this?

[*] Not all but most of the Malaysian Indians came here from India to work in the rubber plantations, as with my grandparents. My grandma was later taken to work in the death railways in Thailand, she came back after the surrender not wanting to follow the Japanese general (?) back to Japan. Lucky the clan....Cant imagine a world without me!!! :)
Rubber plantations was not good at all, if you find the very few literature written on the…

They Know Life?

...more than we do?

I read and watched and listened to this so called method movie makers, the ones who follow the great ones, the ones who claim they know how it 'feels', then ones who wrote themselves permission to stand on the shoulders of the giant, the one who bought themselves creative rights in this new age. They claim to document life, the ones that happen behind fences, the ones that goes on in rooms, in dark alleys, in torture chambers, in governments, in my mind.
And they say they know life?
What is life?
You ask me what is life? Life is tragedy. Life is struggle, life is a cruel comedy, a dark sitcom of directionless time. Life is about getting old. Life is not for anyone to define.
And you don't want all this?
Then eliminate every word that comes after 'Life' and all you have is LIFE.
I present you Life.


2008 has been busy, very busy so far. which is good coz I dont have time to throw a full fledged rant here, or get angry at anybody...well at least not all the time. And i yam making some money, which is better. Still cant stop people around me nagging me to get a real job, which makes it all worthwhile being a rebel blogger biker physicist linguist dude. (biker and blogger sounds good together aint it?) I think this is turning into a rant post!
I promised Cindy to do a tag which I must do once i get back to the big city. Big city sucks, but i have to go back there...for reasons unknown to me. At least no one there nags me to get married, loose weight, and suggest as million things for my migraine. Which has no Cure! The only way I can get the pain to stop these days is a can of coke...yeh...I dont understand the secrets of the universe either. I popped enough pills to qualify me as a dope addict, and all it takes to get rid of the pain (for a while) is a can of coke. I can see a whol…

Unwanted Legacies

Suharto, the longest serving president of Indonesia died a few days back. It's no surprise that many former tyrant heads of states defended his legacy in building a modern day Indonesia as it is. Many Indonesians would be proud of what they have, as does Malaysia, Singapore, Philippines and the rest of the developing countries. But why stop there, why don't they reveal the real Suharto? He is a mass murderer in the likes of Saddam. Saddam did not pick up the gun and shot all those people himself, his minions did. As did Suharto when he 'cleansed' East Timor. He is a dictator and tyrant who doesn't need glorification. I think many Indonesians would well remember of his atrocities, after all they removed him through street protests.

This is the future, the past is praying not to be dissected by the new world, new media totting 'younger' generation. Like it or not, we know the truth, it will hurt many, but we know the truth. And we will not stay silent while ot…

Sun Pillars or Sub Beams?

Vijay and myself went photographing the mangrove swamps when we captured this amazing images of sun pillars or sun beams(?)

[+] Spaceweather Flash
[+] My Submission

Thaipusam 2008 - 3 - Sungai Petani

The final day of Thaipusam. The celebration ends with the chariot procession around the Sungai Petani town and to the Vinayagar temple and back to the Murugan temple. The Chariot is still on its final route back to the Murugan temple by the time I came home, this year could be longest it's been out.

This year saw a more devotees to the Thaipusam than the past years, I can safely put the number around 150,000 people for the 3 days. Nothing much changed in terms of the grandeur, the zest of the celebrations outside the temple, the clockwork system of carrying milk pots and kavadi that has been going on for years in Sungai Petani. Store and restaurant owners would be delighted by the turnout, I think this is the only time of the year, other than during the Vinayagar Chathurti festival that old town Sungai Petani comes alive.

I've been celebrating Thaipusam for 28 years now in SP, I have very good memories of this. I can still picture the situation, the temple, people and kavadi…

Thaipusam 2008 - 2 - SP

There was a bigger turnout in Sungai Petani this year, compared to the last few years. Could be partly because it was a working day and many did not travel to Batu Caves or Penang. Another tiring day, was walking around the normal Kavadi route, ~ 3 miles from the SP Vinayagar temple to the Murugan temple. Here's just a few snaps before I headed home.

A Chariot Kavadi
Heating the leather drum membranes for better sound (?)
Some of the Kavadi's today
Signs of trouble past midnight

Things did not turn out well at all at the temple after midnight (pic above), the riot police was there. I could not wait long, was just bored of waiting to see what's going on from outside the temple actually. Hoped the devotees and 'visitors' would just compromise and leave. In the midst of trouble, there will always be opportunists who will twist and turn the situation to their benefits. A few months ago we saw how easily can a small group of people affect the lives of a whole ra…

Thaipusam 2008 - SP - Day 1

Tired. Very.
But I do have some photos to load, which I am not very happy about.
Hoping...or rather praying ;-P for a better camera next year.
Hope to get better snaps tomorrow.

A beautifully decorated Kavadi.
Minimalistic, yet beautiful.
Idle, before the long walk...
Majestic They did it! Alien Vinayagar?
Pain or passion?
No words...
Connections...divine reality
Connections...with whom?
The power of the soul

Thaipusam 2008 - Sungai Petani

Lets all pray for a peaceful Thaipusam around the country and around the World.

More updates later today, leaving now to the temple.
Follow the labels for last years snaps and stories.

Saturday Masala Mix

( Masala here, but I like the tittle.)

It grew out of the sink! landlady gonna faint if she sees this and the rest of the apartment.

I need to get up early to get shots like this. Early photographer gets the virgin shots. finally happened. The one place they haven't ventured, they signed a deal. It's Starbucks in heaven. Bet Vinayagar never knew this coming.

The only action on my bed. Books (and masala? :p) way to forget all the evil of the world for a few hours...

The Cloverfield monster reaches for the fries. Wonder whose hand is that, Vj? I so wanna eat real char kueykak back home, hawker food in KL shucks!


I've watched Sivaji half a year after the release. Now I'm wondering why I watched in the first place. Is Rajni trying to do a Vijay? Or Shankar trying to do a Vijay movie? Or Vijay trying to do a Rajni? Who cares! Movie was good for an hour or so...then disaster... If everyone likes the bald Rajni at the end so much, hence everyone likes the anti-hero Rajini better than the good guy Rajni. So why cant they just make him a bad guy, or a badass guy in the new movie? Like how the original Billa turned out to be? Which of course makes Ajiths Billa better than Rajni's Billa because...urrrmmm...I dun like Rajni much? A computer system architect doesn't know what CPR is....pfhhh!
And could someone who made Indian can sink to this low? I just hope he doesn't make Robot or Robo or whatever sci-fi in the same line. It's going to stink, sink and make you say...but why?
Oh, I just had a bight fight with Billa my evil housemate coz of this movie. I bet worst th…

Envy: UUBA

Do you feel left out? Do you get less than 30 hits per day? Do you get pissed when people who write inane matters get a billion hits per day and not you?
Then you might want to consider this:
United Underrated Bloggers Association - UUBA (Pronounced as: UUUUBBBBAAAAA).
How to use it:
Dude: Hey do you blog?
You: Yes.
Dude: Cool. So like whats your blog, how izzit?
You: It's cool. I am an UUUBBBAAAA blogger.
Dude: Whazzat?
You: Thats the whole point.

Another fine day

Lunch is potato chips, and its raining.

[Original] It's turning out to be a beautiful yet busy morning. Taking the positives out of a pile of negatives, I'll try to enjoy the work I'm doing for once. :) Breakfast is baked beans and toast, but I so very much wish for Idli and Thosai. And will try to get some nap at noon so that I dont suffer brain crash soon.

[+] I forgot to update this yesterday:
We are having MOVING OUT SALE in PAY LESS BOOKS below:Carrefour Subang (Lot B1.01, Level B1) - Until 30 January 2008Amcorp Mall (Lot 1.70, 1st Floor) - Until 30 January 2008Summit USJ (Lot 1.32 & 1.33, 1st Floor) - Until 15 February 200850% off Storewide!!!ALL BOOKS MUST GO.
So go there and get your self a book or a dozen. I ransacked twenty SF tittles yesterday. There's alot of fiction, and non-fiction left.

Cloverfield: The Review

Managed to get in time to the cinema, despite Billa, my semi evil housemate being late. Went to the counter to get the booked tickets (15 mins before the show) and the girl went, 'you just buy the tickets la, there's plenty more :D . Tickets you need to collect 45 mins before the show'. So I got the tickets, got the drinks and saw the Cloverfield headless Statue of Liberty cardboard advert. A picture would have looked smacking good here, just that some idiot at that right moment decided to 'touch' it! The Statute crashed to the ground, no sound, no monster in sight. All the dudes there tried to put it together back, but they failed. Sigh. So all you get is the snap of the tickets.

Cloverfield turned out to be good, and I mean really good. Compared to a whole of load of passable flicks over the year, this one had great premise and originality (which I think many Blair Witch fans wont admit). 2008 kicks of with a bang with the Cloverfield monster and here is …

The Future Is Not Born Till Tomorrow

I did something really stupid that everytime I look back, it makes me feel really bad, and I got no solution for this. Something spanning 5 years. This just went down bad, really really bad. I've been a Zombie for the past 2 weeks, trying to hide my emotions, but it's killing me. I don't know how am I going to get through this, or get out of this or make people understand. I think I disappointed more people than I disappointed myself. I lied to myself all this while. But I'm accepting it, if it has to be like this, then be it. I have no regrets, just lost chances.

And I am back.

It's All Over

[Update] Thank you so much for the encouraging words comrades. Love you all. Will update details soon. Bleak is the word of the hour.

Just as the body wishes not to be enslaved
the mind too wishes for its freedom
grant me a wish tomorrow
a wish for all tomorrows
because its all over
and I failed
this time


At the height of insanity, I'm having cold pizza and coke for breakfast. I did it big time this time, I've become the...Greedy FreelancerTM©!
30 hours done, 60 more to go.
I can't feel m fngrs...

Gender Race

MANCHESTER, N.H. — Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York rode a wave of female support to victory over Senator Barack Obama in the New Hampshire primary on Tuesday night.
[Read Full]
[#] This pretty much sums up Hillary, she cried and then women voted for her? The hottest position on the planet is in line and she went for women sentiment. This is the world we're talking about, I hope this primary doesn't reflect America's total view on Hillary. Obama is a much more transparent, fresh and determined candidate than Hillary who obviously is a tool of her husband. The best for her and everyone is to team up with Obama and take office and do some good. Issues like the gender sentiment and gender parade seems trivial compared to foreign policy, war and the imminent recession.
[+] For Obama, the majority still can sway in his direction.[Read Full]
[+] Exit Poll shows majority of women voted for Hillary;[Exit Stats],[Read Full]

Revisit: Unsaid Words

the flickering of the unsaid words
through the morning dew, through
the daylight and afternoon meals
deranged mind talks louder but the
volumes muted to empty air from
the mouth that struggles to speak

standing with my back to the door
another door closed near my heart
then my mind and finally my eyes
muted to the visual flickers of
words still remaining unsaid
strangely dancing on my wet
eyelids while my brain talks
of eternity and damnation

sensual fireflies through the window
cool breezes slip in secretly spying
spirals and perfect mathematical
curves on everything forbidden to be
spoken and still the words flickered
wanting to steal the laces and the silk
sari strewn across the floor in mysterious

and no we did not look for your
traces in the rice flats laid to dry
in the same sun that gave you light
for your first steps and growing days
when you resonated with flowers and
scents and we still did not look for
the resolutions of the smells and colors

from the road junctions to the hidden
country roads…

Science Fiction Rain

There's sci-fi rain out there. The kind you see in sci-fi movies, gray skies, desaturated landscapes, slow motion rain drops and not a human in sight. I'm fast devolving the ability to work in specific weather conditions. I feel connected to the world, in real.


Of all the things I want now
of all the things I dream of
of all the things I wish for
of all the days I stay awake for
of all the evenings I die for
of all the nights I wait for
of all the people I love
of all the time I live for
I wish for only one thing
I wish I could relieve the past 5 years
I wish I could redo every moment of it
I wish I could change all the things that went wrong
I wish I could prove that I am someone
I wish I could find the real me
I wish I am, myself
I wish I am me

How to Play Life?

Dont worry, this is not an advice post. It's another rant post. rant rant rat...i have a huge rat in my apartment. So another year started and another week jst flew past...whoosh...without us knowing. Jolly good. I'll start with Liverpool and then sink to the low scums of the earth and universe; new Year resolutions (my a**).

Whoever been following English soccer would know the deep pile of dung that Liverpool is in, 18 years without a title and continuously humiliated by Manure Unite, Arsenal, Chelsea, and 1000 other teams from the championship to no league's. Yes, England has that many teams. So what makes a team? I dont know, I dont care. I'm going numb watching them draw for the millionth time this season. I thank the mighty Gods my evil housemate is a Liverpool supporter, cant imagine what would happen if he's MU! Ooo nightmare. So if everything goes according to plan, Rafa Benitez a.k.a the Liverpool FC coach will be sacked, hit the sack, kicked the futball bu…

Solar Cycle 24

Solar cycle 23 has 'unofficially' ended. The observation of a high latitude magnetically reversed sunspot signals the start of a new 11 year solar cycle. That also means that a gradual increase in sun activities, solar storms, short we're in for one hell of a ride soon. The peak will be around 2011-2013 depending on how accurate the predictions are, but the actual storm doesn't disappoint many predictions, being very accurate and at many times during cycle 23 throwing more than what we expected.

I don't know what my future as an astrophysicist gonna be in 2 weeks time, but I will be tracking cycle 24 independently in another blog.

Sunspots r beautiful :)

[+] NasaScience Headline
[+] SOHO Images
[+] SolarWiki
[+] ; [Forum]


Digital morons better do something. They better stop fucking me and dont screw the Internet connection. Like come on, there's only 24 hours in a day. Let me do my bloody work and sleep. I don't have case you haven't been reading my 600+ posts, my holidays are like 2 days 'getting lost in a car' holiday. So my brain is deprived of so much of good stuff and is booked for another 50 years that I jst dont hav the time.
The new year, my TV busted some pins and now everything's yellow, the electric kettle decided to die, fridge full of junk and something is growing fruits in there, zee PC has slowed that. I've been listening to trance all day hoping my brain would work faster. Screwed up and been offered some extension by the project manager...of course he doesn't know I have two more jobs from another company to finish this weekend. Not to mention the thesis...since 5 years ago. And no I never ge…

Backyard Destinies

Some looping music from the mp3 player brought backyard memories. Maybe growing up in different centuries etched an undying respect for women, the true souls only. It dawned upon me if what women need is only respect, not the empowerment that the many social activists seek. Respect that should not be asked but be present every moment of time. Empowerment is a myth because they are able to do what they want, but did not get the respect or the same level of engagement. Words doesn't define them but their unwavering deeds last forever.

What more can you ask, and definitely they were not confined to the backyards for ages. They fought together with men, they lived together in class defined societies silently soaking up the anger for another day of love. They marched through years of solitude and depression to create an image of divinity. Something about their touch and their resolutions that we cant forget. We cant forget the faces, the lines of time on their face and their deep eyes.


6.32 and it's all going down the drain

I must stop waking up at 4 am and watch football. It's the worst time, and the team always screws up and when you are outnumbered 20 to 1 at the restaurant, then you know what hell is. I'm not even talking about the other team fans, its the freakin waiters and all they bloody know and watch is cricket! And I must stop being so emotional about my football club. And I must stop cursing the referee from7000 miles away. It's so hard to understand Rafa Benitez and his team selection, I'd be surprised if he's still coaching Liverpool in a months time. I must not continue with the football rant. is soccer, all ye American friends. And Liverpool is owned by two rednecks from US of A. I'm going nuts. We are not going to win the tittle this season, again. It's been 18 years now since we last won it.

2008 or 1984?

On the first day of 2008 I read this report from Privacy international. While USA and UK undoubtedly are the worst democracies in the world due to its active snooping of its citizens...'The lowest ranking countries in the survey continue to be Malaysia, Russia and China.' China and Russia for heavens sake, we are down there with China and Russia? How did we get to rank together with a communist regime and an ex communist regime?

Sometimes the human right reports and other types of social activism does not capture the cultural or religious aspects of certain countries in compiling and eventually branding an image to the affected countries. But it must be seen in a modern day perspective where information technology continues to prevent the concept of privacy and personal freedom; its a double edged sword. Where there is a technological will there will always be a way to find out the truth. It is indeed sad that Malaysia did not try to improve after all this while, but I believe …