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Showing posts from August, 2008

Time, She Reflects

I didn't know this was a part of the game. Didn't even know this was a game in the first place. Am not here for competition, but would really love to consider this a challenging one. Fierce and open. But it wont work that way, I know that. All I want to say now is that I know what is happening and its exciting. I should have know earlier, now all of it seems funny. So she was right after all, its not about knowing, or telling or even living. Its about have the extra touch that matters. People will never be impressed by the usual stuff. Right. I'll keep flying a while longer, let it linger and then return to existence. Its all for a different time, sometime in the future when they learn to understand. But for now, I'm happy that at least some good souls out there understand me.

Been here long enough to know how this works. Probably the magic of all this is to let it work on its own, spin the wheel(s) of time and let it flow. It weaves itself, leaving trails of humanity a…

something about salvation

if life is to understand, then I did not give much effort to it. everyone has ambitions, works hard for it and lives its glory. I do to. something that I should have realized earlier, this salvation, is like a pilgrimage through the hardest moments in my life. i'm looking back at things that I could have done better. it is good sometimes to do this, i rarely if not at all take anything from the past for the pure purpose of solution. i realized long before that nothing can satisfy my needs, hence i need to wake up to a new day - everyday. and that was what university was for. but it was worthless to think that when we gave everything, the forces that be did not appreciate the efforts. and then looking back also, I did not live the philosophy that i so much wanted to follow, only yearning for another new face, another new day. it was like looking for the cover, not wanting to explore the content of such books of life.

so this past one week, as i tried so hard to form some sort of a c…

where do I go now?

early last week i got this sms from a buddy who's leaving for India for good. The survival of the sms is another miracle, i tend to delete anything that comes to the cell when i'm half asleep...the tone of the message will invite the fingers to delete it...mst be some psychological disease, but somehow his one escaped. but I did not open it, just tought it could be nothing more than asking me why I havent dropped by my usual 4 am supper/ whatever its called. well this buddy is actually a waiter at a restaurant i so religiously frequent, been doing that for nearly 4 years now. I am too darn lazy to go to other places, let alone try new food. yeh and no, im not weird. jst being very territorial, coz the ppl there are very very friendly. Kinda saw them grow the business there, from one hell to another. Cant quite remember the times these guys been picked up by the immigration, or some other government agency. and I get food discounts too, and for most of the time they wont even t…

Blogger Updates: Followers

Blogger has released a new feature today. You can read all about it at [Followers_Buzz]. This function lets you see the followers of your blog, basically taking over what Technorati has been doing all this while - in a much simpler/ cooler interface. Long live minimalists! Near the bottom of your new blogger dashboard, you can see the Reading List with a new tab added to let you add blogs to follow, and also manage the links, either you want to follow them anonymously or public. In return, you can add a widget to your blog to show who you are following. A great feature indeed, now you can find all your Internet stalkers, estranged crushes, etc.

* Not all bloggers will have this right now, will be rolled out to everyone in the weeks to come. And also, to get the updates right make sure you activate and set your blog feeds properly.

[updated] Some ScreenShots - The whole concept seems nice, makes stuff easy. Unless you've been using Google Reader, this might really help you in managin…

Resonance II

Here's the rest of the Batu Caves snaps.

Cave temple

Cave entrance

272 stairs...not for the couch potato nerd. It will feel like your knees just fell of :D

The dude, my brother. And yeh, hes a talaivar fan...grrr...

The cave complex itself is ancient, very beautiful. There are several caves where they offer exploration tours, etc.

Long way down, or long way up. The end will always be the same. God Bless.

[#] Trying to post all the snaps that I have before I get a dslr this weekend. I cant wait.


what do they see in you
as they fly in their machines
sweeping across your red plains
when you were alive
the canals and atoms
never seem to be apart

i seek closure
in this loops of waves
remnants of ancient turbulence
i seek closure
from the winds of creation

let them die slowly
and let the red rust
cover the planet
swallowing every memory

[#] what moves you, fractured realities again.

A Decade, and Still Learning

In the months to come, it would be 10 years since I've came out from my sleepy hollow and traveled to the university and a different state. From schools and soccer fields, to dorm rooms and lecture halls. Fiddling the night away on uninspiring microscopes, lasers and sensors, magical instruments for scientists, another blind journey for me, snatching away my hours, once page at a time. How do I summarize all this? 10 long years, of learning and giving up, how observing life went from love and assurance, to confusion to insanity to building a wall around me to write off everyone I met in this 10 years. Being away from home teaches us a lot, meeting people teaches us more and when we inadvertently peek into their own turbulent lives, it gets better each day to know how this world works from their movements, our perspective.

I wonder if all this is because of age. Something about growing old again, this incessant feeling that wont go away. I cant accept the fact of time passing by, o…

Birds of Paradise

The road trip this time was to search for the Birds of Paradise. We found it, sort of, in a private zoo, up north of Peninsular Malaysia. Enjoy the photos, loads of them, might take a while to load.

The Birds of Paradise

The adult male Bird of Paradise (this particular species is the Paradisaea Minor)

The tail feather of the bird, is considered a lucky charm for many at this part of the world. It is know to have immense powers, if kept by the right people. And it costs quite a lot to buy the feathers. Apparently the birds sheds the tail feathers in cycles. In this photo are two preserved birds. Well preserved birds of certain genus of the species can fetch hundreds of thousands of dollars.

This plant is called the Birds of Paradise plant.

The Lye Huat Garden / Zoo

Deers are beautifully boring! (you can quote me on that)

The bird park was awesome, they had lots of species from around the world, like this some Eagle...
Lots of parrots, swans, birds of paradise, etc.

You had to pity the monkeys, …

Did you see that!!!

Happy, happy Beijing. Another spectacular show. The closing ceremony was extraordinary. Felt like watching something from Trantor. They did not spare anything, and it was a wonderful mixture of the future and the present, of goodwill and sportsmanship. Amazing, no words. And London has a huge task of surpassing this, if they choose. And again, a London Double Decker, David Bechkam and Jackie Chan?! Did you see that! I ask you.

And for wishing for the stars, yet achievable/reachable...lets meet in London 2012!


And finally we meet...

[#] I used to question the need. Now I feel it was more than a need, maybe, such as an identity for the people of the lost homelands, evolving religions, a cultural standpoint, rather than an excess of human ability and resources. He stands perfect, a precise art of relevance, when people dont search for what they already have. They just reaffirm, relive and celebrate.

[+] Batu Caves

lonely hearts of the cosmos

if its no the warmth that we yearn
during monsoon seasons and black nights
that we painted in our imagination
as existing in other worlds, too
what we seek across the sky
sailing the fringe galaxies
among nova's and nebulae
immersed in majestic neutrinos
in eternity ships
floating among star systems
in eager waiting for signs
of life reaching from the many worlds
reflections in many eyes
of the lives of the lonely hearts
as they headed as cosmic infants
to the ends of the universe

~awakening, 2099
~timelines flowing forward.

[+] Related maybe, It is such a good book; [LonelyHeartsOfTheCosmos]


Salvation is Today.


on the far tables
are open books, strewn neglected
approaching another dawn
leaving the occasional visitor
to seek their meanings

the crumbling pages
with inks of some language
with meanings to some heart
through careful inspection
came to view tragedies

~in a few mutinous sad spheres
they lived, cultures undulating
timeless faces and languages
that once populated this books

in the death of some
and the extinction of their ways
pages were torn
the books are thinner now
but kept safe
their masters resting in ageless earth

glory to the fractured histories
gathered from this incomplete books
what’s written in blood are forgotten
what was vague is now retold
as the newcomer's history
and they push back time
and the edges of sand
to pasts never existing
memories rewritten
paths came into existence
where jungles enchanted before

I see false lines and times
when they speak and act
like they own this earth
but I am assured by time itself
that they are insignificant
just as
the histories they created
will break apart soon
and a…


All this freedom of working from home, there are some rules that's more debilitating than being trapped in an 8 to 5. For one, trust in the freelancing world, if lost once, is lost forever. And no matter how much we say and do to alleviate the problem, it just sticks around to gnaw at you each and every time. Suddenly I realized its not so much the glamor of servicing the worlds biggest companies that's need to be celebrated, its the perseverance and honesty in honoring my contracts. The saddest part of all this is, there are no moments of that right now, every single element in a professional relationship with a client, have broken down. I'd like to be optimistic about so many things, like lesson learned, experience gained, etc. But there is no stumbling block greater than loosing clients while being self-employed or freelancing. And to be pessimistic, the natural self that I am, this has been the worst and strangely one defining month for me. Now I regret that defining m…


Glossolallia Ver 1.1 is out, feels so good to be published. Glossolallia is a great effort by Kristen in gathering and publishing Flash Fiction from around the word. Two of my short works made it for this publication, thanks again Kristen for the invitation. Just click and download the work featured on the front page of the Glossolallia site. Excellent contributions by the authors from around the world.

[+] Glossolallia

[+] The About Page

Cycles of Survival

Diminutive skills are no answer for the implosion of the mind. What the mind can't reach, the fingers can’t comprehend, can’t produce. The cycle of death succumbs to the cycle of survival, and we go for another ride. God help me in this, again.

What About This Old Souls, That They Can't Live a Normal Life.

A Juncture

To take the leap, for a newer tomorrow, or to take the lead for a better tomorrow. Its all about what you teach and what you learn. Its either you choose to teach, or you choose to learn. And then the path is only one. You choose. If you choose to lead, which means you must teach, then you must know what you want to teach. If you don't know what you can teach, that means you are not ready to lead, then you opt to learn. One path only. But you realize, that one path contains both the elements.

Do we ask?


Tell me, what you want to learn from me. Tell me also, what you can share with me. I believe that is the spirit of survival and the idea of a blog. To teach is to Share. To learn is to Share.


shattered pieces of the crimson heart
lay dead and whiter among
the sedimentary particles
at the bottom of the sea

~ is death just a cycle
of hope and failure
or achievement
in making the other(s)
their role


[#] Relieving Realities, heartbroken.

Fractured Reality

[#] Brain block, need to work but cant, stuck in an alternate reality.

[#] Original [
[+] Image manipulated fcking easily with the kickass Paint.Net

Flashback 1988 - Seoul Olympics

The Beijing 2008 Opening was amazing, the stadium is spectacular, never thought they could pull it off. But it was an excess of money, 100 million for fireworks alone?!!!, and they blew the theme song. In retrospective, watch the theme song from the 1988 Seoul, Korea Games. 20 years on, it is still one of the best openings, alongside Barcelona 1992.

hand in hand we stand
all across the land
we can make this world a better place
in which to live
hand in hand we can
start to understand
breaking down the walls
that come between us for all time

[+] Watch the rest of the videos of the 1988 opening ceremony.[Seoul-1988]

Near Hell Experience

80 miles an hour
1000 feet drop
a moment of euphoria
utter stupidity

[#] Do not drive and take photos.

Something about work...

...staring at the ceiling fan again, almost 10 years since the reason came to stare at it. It makes you reflect your life, go on an emotional journey of sorts, check where you are in life and hopefully keep you on the right path.

Something about work, I realized just now, and actually got up from bed to write this. By the end of this month, I would have collectively translated 500,000 words in countless projects in 2008. Doing that in 8 months, and doing it almost alone, that 'must' be a big achievement. I dont know if I will get to 1 million words by the end of the year, projects are coming fast and thick and the deadline is seriously depressing to say the least. It is work, I have to remind this to myself everyday. All the time people think I'm minting money, but rarely do they stop to consider this is my job. And what money do I mint, I'm not sure, but if working 18 to 20 hours a day is considered worth what I get paid for 'from the mint', then this is not th…