Friday, April 4


The more I see those photos, the more I ask 'Why not me?'
Why don't I get to go there, why don't I get to experience that,
why don't I get to study there, why don't I get to play there,
why don't I get to work there, why don't I get to be with you,
Why not me?
Thank you God I'm not Blind
But I too have a heart
and its really heavy right now
What is this cruel fate
(or blessing in disguise)
that I am going through
or went through
for the past 3 decades
what is this?
Why not me there
and not stuck here
Maybe it's the Me
that made this desire
all too shallow
Why Not Me
whose desires
You don't follow.
*in distant memories
snowflakes in summer
swept under the carpet of time
rain for the sake of desires
tears for the wanting of love
surrender your soul
for He awaits
surrender it to me
for I shall live your life
maybe then
I will get what I deserve
what I desire
in death
maybe I will find
my fate.
[#] On that forever morning, he desires for immortality to experience All tomorrows.


Mez said...

hey..are u okay? Seems like one of those low days...or just plain writing?

Keshi said...

not fair u wanna leave me too? Apart from Janice and few other mates in my life, now u wanna leave me too? Dun try to break my heart Ghosty, cos it's broken beyond recognition.


I love that last beautiful but very sad..

**in death
maybe I will find
my fate.

maybe this very life is ur fate Ghosty...why look for a fate when u may be living it? besides we dun need no fate..we just need each other.


Solitaire said...

Its not your turn yet.

Nachi said...

all right, thats it! time to go to damage control, and beer inflow...

whats up bro?? just cause you can't seem to find shades to fit ain't mean that you get all depressed. keep looking, you'll find that perfect match! ;)

on a more serious note, i guess that there are so many times ( i guess that such desires are a continual fabrication of my life) when i too have asked "why not me??", but each time there has been an offsetting in the Karmic Justice System with a situation popping up wherein i have asked, "why me??".

..."surrender it to me
for shall I live your life
maybe then
I will get what I deserve
what I desire"

bro, have you been trying to take a peek inside my mind and give a voice to my thoughts or what? love the verse.

d SINNER!!! said...

Why Not Me
whose desires
You don't follow.


ok! I Shud stop faking smiles...


Mythily said...

Ennada ethu? ore pozhambal?

Cinderella. said...

The grass on the other patch is always greener bhai !
I know you, do know this very very well. So do I.
But at times we just relish in the suffereing of not being able to be on the other side. Some sweet pain perhaps...I aint sure. Just my take.

It is a sad poem,
but then broken hearts write the lovliest verses...

Just like these,

**snowflakes in summer
swept under the carpet of time
rain for the sake of desires
tears for the wanting of love**

Cheer up.

Jeevan said...

I wish his desires for immortality to become alive. slightly feels disappointment in the verse bro.

Miladysa said...

Great poem Ghosty.

Because all is as it should be...

Enjoy your weekend :-D

M x

Jim said...

u r young
u going some where?

what is keshi saying?

Anonymous said...

Oh man
u have no moderator

i love u


Jim said...

lemme read your post again

typing tfgmdoy is a pain

c e e d y said...

Do go yet - just found your blog!!!

When the time is right you will get what you want

Solitaire said...

you should respond to ppl;s comments and let us know what u think.

tulipspeaks said...

yen inthe polambal?


brocasarea said...

dude u becoming philosophical now days??...[adding u up in my blog list]

Ghost Particle said...

[mez] i yam ok. :) But this has been a low day, week and month. sigh. When will it ever end. thx.

[keshi] I wont leave you, not this soon, not this world. I want to live forever. But I just think I am experiencing the pains for the world, the low tides, how to say, emotions of how life is. Remember when Siddhartha walked out of his castle and saw his people, the suffering and dying. Maybe every human is going through it, or must to understand life. If this is fate, then I accept it with all my heart. Just need to work it out, everything will b ok. Hugs.

[sneha] i hope it comes soon, not when im on my death bed. And I do try to reply to all the comments, sometimes it takes too long or late because I so swamped with work. :(

[nachi] Hemm, the first lines of the comment has so much meaning to it, if you cant find one now, search for the best. :)
You are so true about the KJS cool abbreviation uh. I look into you the way you understood me. We are one. Thx bro. :)

[dsinner] Neha...thx. You are not faking anything :p just the words that we type sometimes hide our emotions. You are on a journey too, you will experience much, we never stop learning. :)

[mythily] yetho nadakiratu...naan yare kitte solleven.

[cinderella] thx dear, I know you understand me, we talked before. This is life, we shall live it like this. If it wants, it will give. hugs.

[jeevan] I understand your emotions nanba, life throws many things at us. One day some of the desires will come true, most wont. Thx.

[milady] The we shall be as it was meant to be :) Thx for the wise words. :) Wish you a nice weekend too Milady. Hugs.

[jim] Jim, for all you did to Keshi and other bloggers, I am not going to entertain you. As much as you are suffering, the rest of the world is too. It doesn't give you the license to do anything to other souls. You cant be the judge or any soul. Good Bye.

[ceedy] Bro! thx for coming :) When the time comes, I will tell how much I love the world. Hope you come back for more. :)

[ammu] yetho nadakirathu, palle sinthanaigal...

[brocasarea] I am always like this bro. :p Thx for the add...I tink ive added you, or Ill just add you now!

Am In Trance said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ghost Particle said...

[trance] true enough, but maybe the death of an old soul is needed to discover a new path in life.

Am In Trance said...

**In Death
Maybe I'll Find My Fate**

No bro.. Death is no solution..
Things aint so easy.. They never were !!

Am In Trance said...

A Soul Is Ageless Dear...
Yesterday It Was.. Today It Is.. And Tomorrow It Still Will Be There..
Don't Trap It In Boundaries...
It Is Too Fragile To Take That..

Keep Smiling... Buddy..!!

Alok said...

Bro I read your post last night ... read a couple of times .. just didn't know how to comment ...what the last verse does to senses cannot be explained in words ... infact it can only be written by someone who is passing thru such a phase ...

But then whatever I have known of you through your muse and our discussions ... I don't sense a person who can give up ... or who wants to give up ...

you know Siva when you have set very high aims for urself, you are bound to come across a lot of setbacks becoz come to think of it .. what are failures .... aren't they relative to what we are seeking ... someone who is happy to be where he is now and have other priorities .. to him the same event would have no impact ... set backs are not bad ... they are not permanent for guys who dreams ... they are inherent to your success ... becoz u have defined ur success ...

It will pass off like so many things have in the past ... I know only one thing and that is to always believe in one's ownself ... that takes care of most other things including successes and setbacks ...

And last but not the least .. a story of one of the most famous physicist and mathematician of all times (and that's a quiz question for u) who once encountered an astrologer who said that he is not "destined" to be well educated ... the person asked the astrologer .. how do u know ... and he said this line on ur palm is too small and it suggests that u will not attain high standards of education ... so he took a knife out and just drew the line bigger on his palm ... now I don't remember the story exactly but I believe I do remember the moral of the story that has stayed with me thru my life .. and that is you don't get what u destined for .. you get what you make of it ....

TC bro


Ghost Particle said...

[trance] a trapped soul we all are. the difference is, whether the soul realizes its skin or not. Self or not. now thats where the pain starts. :)

Ghost Particle said...

[alok] bro! okay, its either CV Raman or Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar...or Ramanujan. (Sorry am not even trying :), but I think it surely must be CV Raman).

As we talked yesterday bro, I totally agree with you. Life doesn't owe us anything except life itself. We are what we make of it. My vision will not falter, I just have to work harder. thanks bro. :)

Sutta said...

Fucking beautiful!
So relative man.

Nahuatl said...

snowflakes in summer? hmmm... reminds me something :)

Ghost Particle said...

[sutta] thx bro.

[nayan] it is! hahaha...ur blog title!


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny