Saturday, March 29

Sad Story

i light up another star for you
today i remembered you
remembered of the careless days
of the mystery phone calls
days we met, but we did not say hello
it reminded me of you today
of the mails and poems and letters
of delirium in the joyful seasons
distance and mothers hiding our story
from fathers so strict and angry
calls of anger and delight

i light up another star
for the days we met, and held hands
in the park, around the moonlight
and why it mattered so much
that it kept me from others
and other days of death

today another silence
and another star in the sky
the few minutes before each blink
of the electronic lights
i remembered how our separation
was meaningless
as it was never real never an illusion
rummaging through past memories
sad days where you cried
not knowing i was there
for you
and the days i wandered, lost
not knowing you waited for me

I light up the final star
for the memories of us
of the tragedy of life
for not bringing us together
even when knowing
we were meant to be
knowing that
I have fallen in love
with you
and never saying it
it was life
not letting me.

and how it ends today
*I dont need you to be like this
dont want to see you doing this
cry like this and forever
make me look guilty
You dont have to be with me forever.
When you want to leave, you leave.
Just leave and dont look back
coz' there's no such thing as memories
there are only roads taken, and thats done.

00-08, days in the stars, ghost and tara
[#] How her name appeared as 'Sad Story' in my mobile, probably as a prophecy untold for the past 8 years, that everything wont come to a happy ending. This is a true story.
[#] Not edited, never will be. Have a nice Weekend.

Friday, March 28

Of Knives, the USD and 4 am Snacks

(warning: rant post)

[The Knife Updated]
Dope!@# ok, I should have investigated this earlier, another one of my tube light moments. There were no knife wielding murder maniac outside the apartment. The sound came from my own kitchen! bah! the freaking lizards were playing behind the knife hanging on the wall. Now dont tell me...but, people do hang knives right? Bloody lizards...grrr...the knife had to be thrown coz I think now its cursed. Ok, back to your lovely weekend folks...nothing to see here :( Im going nuts, you are right guys, Alok, Cindy...I Yam Going Nuts!

[Original] One of the 'perks' of staying awake till late is that you get to hear cool sounds. Usually it'll be dog barking, cats...meowing(?) and the occasional female ghost shrieks. But all that ain't enough to scare me until the fateful morning a few days ago I heard the sound of a knife. So Vj asked me, how could you hear the sound of a knife. Heck I don't know 'how', but when you hear it, its the sound of knife! It sounded like someone is sharpening the knife or just waiting there with the knife. I did not open the front door. I wanted to just carry the camera and open the door and flash the bugger, but what if it's one of those samurai kinda small knives that they can throw and it'll be protruding from your forehead. Not a good way to die. And guess what...I heard the sound today too! just for a few minutes, it was the same knife sound, like the bugger is running the knife on the front grill...or maybe its a fish hook! I'll wait a few more days before I confront whoever is it stalking my apartment...or confront my imagination. The life of this ghost is fast turning into an Urban Legend.

The USD sucks. Period. It sucks. Compared to a year ago, freelancers today in this part of the world would be earning more than 100 bucks LESS per 1k USD they make. That is so bad in freelancing terms because jobs are not regular. Not to mention the cost of living, gas, food, etc. Now I do 'feel' why they say keep the day job. But perseverance might take me somewhere...hopefully good. The Euro on the other hand is rocking baby, its rock solid. And what a pity that I have only one European client. I'm thinking of exchange rates so much that I've been having nightmares filled with burning money, raining money, talking money...etc. And to add salt to the wound (heh), comparatively I get paid 1/3 of the hourly rates commanded by freelancers in the land down under and America. This is what they call competitive rates here, if I complain or change my offering rates, I wont get jobs. Pretty fcked up world if you ask me since (ego statement) the freelancing I do is so so so BIG, I mean like I translate some of the most important stuff in the world...(/ego statement). And there was this short docu clip on YouTube the other day where the Wall Street people are saying the USD wont crash ever...well sooner or later we're going to find out.

The other issue of being a freelancer is that you have to service a few timezones....not to show that you are cool, but to seriously maintain your client base and support all those luxuries of life like eating, clothing and paying rent. So at the wee hours of the 4 am! you go out for late/early morning supper. Which in supper terms should be something light like a 'roti canai' and tea. But nope, the biggest problem of mental works around the clock is that you get burned out fast and hungry all the time. So the supper becomes fried chicken, fried rice, fried much for loosing weight. And the downside of all this is that you dont have variety if you want to change the menu, unless eating cold burger at 4am at Mickey D's is cool. So what is 'supper' in your part of the world?

'change is the best way to see the change' - I came up with this, felt a few minutes of high motivation, have someone else said this?

A big shout out to Pallavi and Raaja and Ben for populating my IM's at this kind of hours and listening to my 'everyday sucks' rants. Oh...and my big time crush, Sneha who is mad at me right now :(

Tuesday, March 25

Into The Wild

'The Final and Great Adventure'

You know its not about how many movies you watch, not even if your a movie buff. Even if you pick and choose the best, most probably there are some great ones you'll miss. And sometimes even the great ones are not for everyone.

For starters, the mystery that Hollywood is, is easy to decipher. They are just full of bloated movie studies pitching for dollars rather than sense. But in the end, everyone a scholar of the H school, what does it stand for, the cultural reference point that is. And once in a while, even this commercialized movie-land can deliver a gem that's so devastatingly real that you feel like other movies are just not worth it.

But this is not about the movie, its about the man who made it real, and then got made into a movie. Into the Wild is a true life story of Christopher McCandless, who from the summer of 1990 went on a soul searching adventure to Alaska. The movie version of the story is directed by Sean Penn. The imagery is stunning to say the least, probably the best travel movie I have ever watched, candid and raw. Emile Hirsch played Christopher in the movie, and gave a performance reminiscing Christian Bale in the Machinist. Rarely have an actor embodied much of the passion such as these few great actors. When you watch the movie, you can see the sparkle in Emile's eyes, the rarest motivation in an actor showing how sincere he is sticking to the role. We learn while he learns, and he really showed that in the movie. An amazing and beautiful effort from Sean Penn, how the landscape never gave away to the triumph of the human spirit and how the human elements was never bigger than nature itself. In this case, much of America and the magnificent Alaska. I read a review somewhere saying this is an original and beautiful American travel movie, it is and more.

Its too easy to believe that the motivation of Christopher to set of on a rebellious journey into uncharted territory is too blind, unplanned. (The movie doesn't focus too deep into his schooling years, where a lot of his idealisms was formed). But by the time the movie ends, you will have to believe how hard it is to understand the youth of the 90's, not to stop there, how hard was it to brand the youths of 60's till now? Did we change much? How many of us carry the same motivations of Christopher? We do fight for our rights, for a peaceful world, we fight on the streets, we gather strength for the common cause. But when does the fight turn personal?

In my personal opinion, the life of Christopher is human tragedy at its most intense, worst possible abomination. The motivations of materialist parents, the ideals of the younger generation, I would say a hurt younger generation in trying to imagine better things. He had all this in him, in short a lot of people will see themselves in him. But what sets apart us from this young man is his willingness to just drop it and face the world. He faced his demons, he simply wanted to know what else is there. Makes us wonder if we ever had the guts to do what he did. Its a wondrous tour of the human mind in a not so simple world, a fantastic journey into the wild.

Watch and reflect this rare display of human spirit at its truest.

[+] Into the Wild
[+] Into the Wild wiki
[+] Christopher McCandless

Monday, March 24

Pigs in the Rain

Liverpool FC down the Drain...
This is where we sat
under a torrential thunder storm
beside a flooded road
with the satellite signal cut for a good part of the second half
to watch Liverpool failing to beat Manure U
for the nth time in the EPL
since Rafa's charge at LFC
and how many times of it
during the last 8 years
did LFC have to play
with 10 men on the pitch?
Anyone still remember?
English referees are a bunch of bollocks.

[#] Did I get the bollock right? I'm mad as hell grrrrrrrrrrrr...

Sunday, March 23

Eternity Flowers in Lost Galaxies

When they spoke of love, it was always everlasting, beautiful moments and heartbreaking separation. It was always the extremes, things to achieve for it wont be love anymore. It was the same for ages, for now, in the future where we left earth for new sunsets.

On a cold morning outside school, she came from the mist. I've watched many, lost in my perceptions of perfections not knowing that she simply looked at my heart, the true one. I was on the throne of my egoistic dogma believing only the beautiful, not knowing how shallow my believes were.

Orion, she left me along the mountain ranges of the most beautiful galaxy I have ever seen. It was a dream. Orion and I walked the shores of young oceans, witnessing the birth of life in insignificant worlds, where humans have lost hope of finding God. We witnessed history again and again repeating the same coda, the chords of destiny striking perfectly with the same outcome. Repetitions.
@...Its just one of those days you know, one of those days where we go 'what the fuck just happened'...who the hell was that! damn what the fuck is that, what the f'....then the whole thing just blows in your face. kaboom!

I can totally relate to that dude. Like, just yesterday we went for a movie, and she just turned off, i mean she disappeared man. Damn I was like struggling, searching in the dark and all the while she is sitting beside me...just like a...a chair? I dont know, it freaked me out.

The hell! What did you do then?

Oh...everything got better today.

Duh! That was nothing compare to the crap im in. I didn’t ask for this, I hoped for something, but not for eternity I wished for this. I did not get married for this. Where is the everlasting love and all that comes with it man?!

Its a trap.

Damn hell you are right, it is a trap and its designed specifically for me! I hope the dude smiling from heaven is happy right now. 'Give back my life you ass!'

Dude, stop it. Ur scaring the girls.

I'm married, there is no girl other that the one at home...hmmm...when she comes back home that is.

Do you even know which century she checked out to?

What’s the point, we can't be sliding forever, when she wants to come home, she will.

The prospects of true love is vague, to say that you can give her something for the rest of your life is beyond human capabilities. She will be attracted to someone else, you will be screwing someone else.

! Thank you Freud. Here's your Oscar for 'worst ever philosophical interlude by a supporting actor'.

Heh...thanks...Hey! wait what supporting...dude I got her for you.

Exactly, and now you're going to find her and bring her back.

Aw know I dont like those things...

No way dude, we ride together, we die together...well...this time you die first....hahahaha

Screw you.

Get her back by tomorrow...its her birthday.
*Morning messengers. Brings life and air.

She reaches out and touches them. First her fingers, and the her whole hand. Slowly her skin turns red...just so slowly I remember her still in my arms. Undulating valleys, oceans in the far corners not visible to us. Beyond a few houses are streets, slowly busying for the second sun. As nights recede, continents go to sleep and others awaken.

Have you ever thought of this day?

Of something....anything special about this day?

Any day, today, yesterday...tomorrow. When it happens, before it happens....have you ever thought of it?

I think about sunsets....never-ending sunsets in thousands of worlds out there. I think about you all the time. Never to let go of you, I think about that.

Have you thought about death?

Always. But beyond that there is life too. Life transcends death.

Then will you come looking for me, for eternity? Beyond the stars and time...

Even where time doesn’t end.

Where is that?

You will know when you get there...

[+] Part 1: It's Time to Go , Part 2: Obsessions of the Maroon Star

[#] Never knew writing a SF love story can be this hard, this is the continuation of the first two parts of an epic journey. Still trying to piece together a few different angles of the story, how it all started, how it would end. Then finally I would have to refine the whole thing, hopefully. Till then, this is an experiment!

Friday, March 21

Glory Days

Last Sunday was my cousin, Kugan's convocation in UUM. So the whole family headed there, turned out to be a major clan gathering. It was a hot, very hot afternoon, a lot of babes...i mean graduates and a lonely Ghost.
I get a kick out of it every time some relative ask who I am...well the truth is I am a ghost at home too :p

UUM's MAS Hall, probably the biggest university hall in the country, and the most beautiful

This is Kugan. Proud day for him and on the way to become a Teacher soon, thats his passion for life.

The young clan members with a better fashion sense. They try and try to change me...sigh it never works

Grandma...the 'glue' that keeps the families together (and a 'war veteran' if you remember my past posts)

Kugan again...

I don't know what's the symbolism of this...but I guess it's the flight of the Phoenix...charting a new future for everyone who walks the halls of the university

[#] I'm back...less sick now...but still blur. (Never try self medication, the same medicines doesn't work all the time.)
[#] Happy Easter everyone!

Travelers: Indran, Ghost, Sandra, Kamales, Prasanna....and Kugan!

Wednesday, March 19

Monday, March 17


Sorry guys, down with a bad flue and fever. Will be back soon.
Was it me who wanted to blog till 2050? Sigh...
Oh! and guess what? The satellite TV subscription is off! Wohoo! (ouch...there's pain all over the body, I don't think this is normal flue N' fever)

Thursday, March 13

Gastronomical Landscapes

What do you do when your have bloggers block, are running away from family and relatives talking about marriage and kids, post election news, and reality?
Why you post your boring ass travel photos!
All travels start with the noble idea of snapping artistic photos that will awe the world and bring loads of feel good comments. This is at a small fishing jetty somewhere in rural Kedah (we got lost :P)

And when you see the expanse of the landscape, you feel with the world. Those tiny white things are storks eating something on the empty paddy fields. If someone counted, there would be about 547 of them in this picture alone.

And the magnificent sunsets, the sky burning the polluted air and the resulting shades of orange and...hmmm...more orange.

And when you get bored of it all, you eat! The drinks are from left to right; Chinese tea, Iced Milk Tea, Longan drink and a chrysanthemum tea. And the food is char koay kak!

Or you can head to Penang and hop on a beca and eat real hawker food! Wohoooo!

Penang is full of Apartments and expensive Condo's!!!
(Actually Penang is renowned for its colonial architecture, beautiful Chinese, Buddhist and Indian temple's. We didn't snap any coz it was already night and raining)

And eat more! Yes, this is a species of squid, soaked in water. It tastes good in rojak sotong. The tiny stuff there are cockles and other members of the shell animal family thingy.

This is a Pasembor stall...those are fried stuff made of crab meat, fish, and other edible stuff...which are often described in western food shows as 'Weird Asian Food'.

From the stuff above in the Pasembor stall, you get this...The Pasembor, a heavenly food, covered with cucumber, some white turnip vegetable and a secret sauce. Oh by the way, don't over do it in Penang, when you choose the items to be made into pasembor, just choose the ones you like. A plate like above would cost around 20 to 30 bucks.

And finally after stuffing your walk down to the world famous (Lol) Gurney Drive and rest looking at the never ending horizon...or just be lazy and snap a photo from your car and head home and sleep...

The End.

[#] Travelers: Ghost, Indran, Kumar, Sandra and Vj

Tuesday, March 11

10,000 BC

No. Trust me on this. No. Dont watch it, dont even go near it. Please. If you want Woolly Mammoths watch the docu channels, otherwise please stay indoors kids!

As the early season piece of craps coming flying out of Hollywood for 2008, I will be your guide on how to save 10 bucks, your dignity, prevent nightmares and countless Whys'.

If you must, just watch the trailers coz thats the only good stuff all conveniently mashed up for you from the movies.

Or just read a Book.

[#] Horton Hears a Who! looks promising...but you never know.

Monday, March 10

Makkal Sakthi

"Congratulations and Thank you for your support,
the people's voice will reign and echo in Parliament!"

[+] Mob's Crib

Sunday, March 9

People Power - Makkal Sakthi

History will speak of this day in Malaysian Politics on how the Internet, New Media, Blogger(s) and Blogs, YouTube, the Cellphone and Al-Jazeera gave voice to People Power and a big victory for the People's Front.

History will also write, how the ruling government dismissed all this and how their greed cost them everything.
And how the Malaysian Indians voted out the Malaysian Indian Congress party.

Starting Monday 10th of March 2008, the Peoples Front with 5 states in their bags and a commanding 80 seats in the Parliament will make sure the rights of the Malaysian people be justified for the first time in 50 years by an Alternative Peoples Coalition.

And probably Rajni would not know this, but Sivaji the Boss...actually brought in votes in Malaysia. This is true.

[+] And like what TS wrote, the Penangites might just be the first in the world to have voted in a blogger into Parliament!

Friday, March 7

Vote for Change

We Vote For Change Today!
Today We Make History

I will VOTE FOR CHANGE today.


Think of your future, think of you children,

Remember what the past generations has gone through to build this nation, all the races who sacrificed their days, their lives to make this country stand out in the eyes of the world. For hundreds of years our ancestors struggled in various conflicts, they worked in rubber plantations and death railways and today OUR OWN COUNTRY IS DISOWNING US.


And do you want to let it crumble because of greedy politicians? Because of race politics? Because of extraordinary ambitions of certain politicians? Do you want rule of fear? Are they doing anything about the increased crime rate? The increasing prices of products and services?


[+] To the Ruling Coalition, YOU WANT MY VOTE?

[+] The Ruling Coalition in Trouble? [On Election Eve, Hazy Prospects for Malaysia Premier]

[+] Malaysian Indians Vote Swing [Malaysian Indians aim to swing vote]

[+] How Clean is todays Voting? [Malaysia drops vote fraud safeguard]

Thursday, March 6

Lives of Others

how words touch more
(for) a person who observes the world
that beyond its pain and cruelty
are lives of beautiful people
and their beautiful journeys
and then
warm drops of tears
from the eyes of some ghost
the world is full of hope
and love

*I shall be your guide
I shall be your student
I shall live and I shall die
In the memories of others

[+] Inspired by the Sis

Wednesday, March 5

Hillary 'I cry I get Nomination' Clinton

Oookay...abit of sanity returned, and it seems the delegate count difference is the same, Obama is still leading. And of course Hillaton is not letting up. But the sweet news is she is considering to run together with him, gasp! medications working? but she quickly cleared the warm bubbly feeling filling up democrats everywhere when she said he can be number two, just like everyone wants it. Good, Hillary can be numero uno, for about a term, or two or until she gets impeached, while Obama can be number 2 for 2 terms, and then number 1 for another 2 terms. That gives him a good 16 years to clean up America and bring some order to the world. (im good at basic math which make no real world sense). So anyway, why do I support Obama? Well coz theres like 26 million people in this country who wishes he was our Leader...hech...the whole word wishes he is our Leader. Along with Oprah as vice president, Denzel Washinton as Sec of State, and maybe give Rusell 'Gladiator' Crowe the Sec of Defense, commission the Cloverfield monster to protect America, Garfield as the White House Cat....sigh...I need sleep badly....chow folks.

*Did all the Men and Black People in Ohio and Rhode Island stayed home today?
And probably Texas too!
What...suddenly everyone has 3 am phone calls to worry about?

The Malaysian General Elections is on March the 8th, and I will be voting for the first time, and seriously, I don't give a FCK about it. We are a world apart from the US elections, a world apart in the process, in the importance and certainly in the characters who run for Office. I wish I could sleep and wake up next Monday so that I dont have to get on the bus and waste 10 hours traveling up and down the peninsular to vote for something that doesn't bring Change. And for Change in this country, I will wait for Pigs to populate the Moon.

[*] This is satire, a joke. Nothing else.

Monday, March 3


.... i did it again
27 hrs no sleep
work still pilling up
...getting sloppy
no appetite...
this gonna take a few days to recover...

its me again...
....may the no appetite part was a wee bit wrong...
but where do you get good crab curry at midnight!
me so hungry
... must go back home soon
home > marriage!
maybe not a good idea

[+] Mez is starting a Revolution here, its so good!


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny