wish i knew
when principles become ego
or how to hide it
so that no one knows
the feelings right now
lets just hope its for the good
amazing how writings
in our minds
can convey emotions
not possible by word
i am silenced by love
but this time
there is no solution
no unending horizon
no everlasting sunrise
i am in pain again
wish i can share
maybe not ever
Thursday, January 31
Wednesday, January 30
Can you find your connection in this?
Rubber plantations was not good at all, if you find the very few literature written on them you can read the deplorable living conditions, disease and unjust deaths during the colonial rules. But times change, only history remains. Some ghosts cant be exorcised...
I read and watched and listened to this so called method movie makers, the ones who follow the great ones, the ones who claim they know how it 'feels', then ones who wrote themselves permission to stand on the shoulders of the giant, the one who bought themselves creative rights in this new age. They claim to document life, the ones that happen behind fences, the ones that goes on in rooms, in dark alleys, in torture chambers, in governments, in my mind.
And they say they know life?
What is life?
You ask me what is life? Life is tragedy. Life is struggle, life is a cruel comedy, a dark sitcom of directionless time. Life is about getting old. Life is not for anyone to define.
And you don't want all this?
Then eliminate every word that comes after 'Life' and all you have is LIFE.
I present you Life.
I promised Cindy to do a tag which I must do once i get back to the big city. Big city sucks, but i have to go back there...for reasons unknown to me. At least no one there nags me to get married, loose weight, and suggest as million things for my migraine. Which has no Cure! The only way I can get the pain to stop these days is a can of coke...yeh...I dont understand the secrets of the universe either. I popped enough pills to qualify me as a dope addict, and all it takes to get rid of the pain (for a while) is a can of coke. I can see a whole new ad line here...call me dear Coca Cola ppl.
I am still at my very hot, literally, hot hot hot town. my ice blended green tea melted in 5 minutes, its that hot. Oh, the starbucks in SP improved a lot. One thing im going to miss going back to the big city is food. I can do dinner here for 3 bucks which will cost at least 7 to 8 bucks in the big city. And it definitely tastes better here. I get depressed thinking about food.
Im going to sleep now...bye guys.
Tuesday, January 29
This is the future, the past is praying not to be dissected by the new world, new media totting 'younger' generation. Like it or not, we know the truth, it will hurt many, but we know the truth. And we will not stay silent while other 20th century political dinosaurs try to hold on to their crumbling legacies. We didn't forgive Hitler, why should we forgive his future compatriots just because the number of the fallen is less.
Hopefully by erasing the bitter memories of dictators and turbulent yesteryear politics, we can move towards true independence. We don't need 'guided' democracies when we are intelligent enough to know the rights and wrongs. Probably when everyone realise that economic and ecological survival should be prominent focus points, then the people can work together to correct the political and religious power plays and build a true human society.
Hope is for the ones who believe, who are willing to sacrifice. Our aspirations will come true when we believe.
[+] The East Timor genocide. It's no surprise that USA and Australian played a role in it.
Saturday, January 26
Friday, January 25
This year saw a more devotees to the Thaipusam than the past years, I can safely put the number around 150,000 people for the 3 days. Nothing much changed in terms of the grandeur, the zest of the celebrations outside the temple, the clockwork system of carrying milk pots and kavadi that has been going on for years in Sungai Petani. Store and restaurant owners would be delighted by the turnout, I think this is the only time of the year, other than during the Vinayagar Chathurti festival that old town Sungai Petani comes alive.
I've been celebrating Thaipusam for 28 years now in SP, I have very good memories of this. I can still picture the situation, the temple, people and kavadi's back to when I was only a few years old. It's nostalgic, sometimes sad that it's not as pure and grand as then, but as time passes, people change, customs evolve. What makes any SP citizen proud is that people come back year after year, from wherever they are around the world to their hometown, SP to celebrate Thaipusam. That's how powerful the temple is and how close is the Indian community here in Sungai Petani. Given the chance, I want to go back 20 years ago and show everyone how it was :)
Along the years, the city has changed, the temple has been rebuild bigger and better, but sadly we have to point at some sore situations and hope that things will change. As I wrote in the previous post, some people are out there to seize the moment for all the wrong reasons. It's good that people want change, but it's wrong when the change comes at the expense of the community centers such as temples. Probably the people who started the nuisance did not think that there wont be a Thaipusam next year if the Police refuses a permit. And at the root of this is the temple committee who is arrogant enough to ignore what the people want. The rules has changed for the better during the past 10 years but that doesn't mean the devotees are mere visitors to a circus. The well being of the people comes foremost, compared to the power play of the ones who take charge of the temple. If the people want more convenience then do it. That's why we pay for the temple receipts, that's why we put money in the donation boxes. Where does the money go? Did God ask them the money? It's the people's temple, not a private institution, and when people are passionate about the temple, they have the voice and rights to demand change, demand convenience and assistance. All this is seriously lacking, and in the long run, will eventually end the celebrations that's been going on for decades. This is what we don't want happening in SP. The people have been tolerant for so long, and we are not new ones here. We have been here for decades, we have seen people come and go, power doesn't mean anything in the eyes of God or the masses. I hope people will remain tolerant at the antics that usually happens during Thaipusam, Karma will take care of the rest.
H+U has been reporting the celebrations from SP for 3 years now (and I have snaps from 5 years ago). Apart from the clippings in the newspaper, there are no updates at all in new media about the SP Thaipusam despite it being one of the biggest celebrations in this country. Spread the word, document it, and let people know that we have a great cultural center in SP and the Indians here are passionate about our temple's and culture. This publicity will change the attitudes of the trouble makers and also the overzealous temple committee in running the temple.
Last but not least, for decades the temple volunteers has been doing a great job in handling the devotees, everything runs smoothly, follows the set rules and lets us offer our penance in peace and at hearts content. These are young kids, teenagers, youths and the old timers of Sungai Petani, the strong Indian community who make sure that our religious celebration go on for years and years. They are, or shall I say we are responsible for our culture, for peace and tolerance and to educate the young generation of the importance of religion, culture and peace. Religion and culture brings us together, teaches us to respect others as our brothers and sisters. They shall have a special place in the courts of God, all of them, all of us. We shall safeguard the future of our temples, our people and ward of any evil opportunists from ruining our culture and community.
Below are some snaps from today. Will reply all the comments next week, thanks for visiting the site. I have lots of snaps from past years, and if you're from SP but in a faraway land, shoot me a mail and I shall send you some if you want to rekindle the magical memories. Till next year (hopefully with a bigger Thaipusam, better camera, and true 'Live' reporting) signing of, yours truly, and from years back till today, Vj, Indran, Kumar and others :-)
Thursday, January 24
Till then, I just hope that everyone will spend the last day of Thaipusam today (Thursday) peacefully and look forward for a good year ahead and the next Thaipusam. Tomorrow there will be a chariot procession in the town of Sungai Petani. Hope to get more snaps tomorrow, and if you've not been in a Thaipusam chariot procession in SP, you can click to some past pics, it will be a beautiful cultural affair.
Wednesday, January 23
But I do have some photos to load, which I am not very happy about.
Hoping...or rather praying ;-P for a better camera next year.
Hope to get better snaps tomorrow.
Tuesday, January 22
Monday, January 21
Saturday, January 19
And Shankar...how could someone who made Indian can sink to this low? I just hope he doesn't make Robot or Robo or whatever sci-fi in the same line. It's going to stink, sink and make you say...but why?
Oh, I just had a bight fight with Billa my evil housemate coz of this movie. I bet worst things are to come...he's been shouting 'Boss' and flipping coins for a few hours now.
I ain't saying this movie stinks really bad, you have Dr. Joseph Vijay to set the standards for that. I'm just saying, why cant they spend 1% of the budget to do some RESEARCH!
Looks like Shankar is going to make Robot! With Rajni! Again! Good God!
I'm off to bed now. Ciao.
Oh...i think this 'was' a rant post!
Then you might want to consider this:
United Underrated Bloggers Association - UUBA (Pronounced as: UUUUBBBBAAAAA).
How to use it:
Dude: Hey do you blog?
Dude: Cool. So like whats your blog, how izzit?
You: It's cool. I am an UUUBBBAAAA blogger.
You: Thats the whole point.
You: UUUUBAAAAA.... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.....
Friday, January 18
[Original] It's turning out to be a beautiful yet busy morning. Taking the positives out of a pile of negatives, I'll try to enjoy the work I'm doing for once. :) Breakfast is baked beans and toast, but I so very much wish for Idli and Thosai. And will try to get some nap at noon so that I dont suffer brain crash soon.
[+] I forgot to update this yesterday:
We are having MOVING OUT SALE in PAY LESS BOOKS below:
Carrefour Subang (Lot B1.01, Level B1) - Until 30 January 2008
Amcorp Mall (Lot 1.70, 1st Floor) - Until 30 January 2008
Summit USJ (Lot 1.32 & 1.33, 1st Floor) - Until 15 February 2008
50% off Storewide!!!
ALL BOOKS MUST GO.
So go there and get your self a book or a dozen. I ransacked twenty SF tittles yesterday. There's alot of fiction, and non-fiction left.
Thursday, January 17
Managed to get in time to the cinema, despite Billa, my semi evil housemate being late. Went to the counter to get the booked tickets (15 mins before the show) and the girl went, 'you just buy the tickets la, there's plenty more :D . Tickets you need to collect 45 mins before the show'. So I got the tickets, got the drinks and saw the Cloverfield headless Statue of Liberty cardboard advert. A picture would have looked smacking good here, just that some idiot at that right moment decided to 'touch' it! The Statute crashed to the ground, no sound, no monster in sight. All the dudes there tried to put it together back, but they failed. Sigh. So all you get is the snap of the tickets.
Cloverfield turned out to be good, and I mean really good. Compared to a whole of load of passable flicks over the year, this one had great premise and originality (which I think many Blair Witch fans wont admit). 2008 kicks of with a bang with the Cloverfield monster and here is the mini review, spoiler free of course.
I don't know what kind of spoiler there is if any, and unless I post the monster's pic here, there isn't any major spoilers to spoil your experience. This is one movie worth the time (all 90 minutes of it). You'd probably read a great deal of it online by now, but nothing will prepare you for this. The characters are good and 'well placed', I don't know much about movie dynamics, but getting all unknown small screen stars into the movie featuring a very original and extremely pissed off monster is cinema magic. And JJ Abrams together with directer Matt Reeves and writer Drew Goddard (Lost, Alias, Buffy) have a hard to fail package on their hand and what is destined to be a very big blockbuster.
The story is simple; unsuspecting cool city dwellers+one normal night+on big kick-ass monster = big boom. In it are smaller not so complex arcs but the monster takes the center stage. Because basically, we waited 6 freakin months to see it! The waiting part is a big story itself. The viral sites, the photos, the fake breaking news of monster attacks and now a Manga?! And I can say that what we saw in the trailer is nothing compared to how it all 'goes down'!How JJ pulled this off is movie history by now, he is a genius in the leagues of Einstein, Fenyman, Biil Waterson, Eric Cartman...you get the picture. Rebels who dare to dream or dares to say 'Who the F cares what you think'? But in here lies a dilemma, from what I observed, (first day, 3rd show), there aren't many people in the cinema. I bet the halls will be packed tonight and over the weekend, but how many of them would understand this kind of movie making and the fact that this movie is not a standalone popcorn flick? It is a new media movie, you have to get the lowdown of it in the Internet at some point to even piece the things together. And like the Korean 'The Host', this movie has emotions, real human emotions, is fast, candid, funny and if you observe really closely, how today's world will react to any kind of attack on their lives first, then their surroundings. (Not many will want to delve into abstract analysis of this movie, but they gave Matrix a great deal of off-screen critical dissection, so who knows. And if I explain more on what I'm talking here, I will have to tell one important story within the movie. I wont, lets keep the analysis for the future.)
For now, go ahead, book your tickets and enjoy the movie. And please post if you liked it, and how many of the movie goers went 'Sht, what the heck was that to....err....that's all?'. It's a big movie and but also one that the conventional movie goers wont be able to comprehend much. Yet again, the story is straightforward and doest need to be watched from any other viewpoints. You don't have to dig for hidden messages. (The DVD when its released will do it for you ;P).
If you're unlucky not to get/book a ticket for this week, rent the DVD of The Host and get an idea of what 21st century monster movies should be. And DON'T read newspaper reviews or worst the ones that's on the web.
With Cloverfield, JJ Abrams welcomes you to the new golden age of Monster movie making (hopefully). And I bet this is not the last of the Cloverfield monster. Many imitators will come, some might have enough eye candy to blow you away, but they will alas remain, imitators.
[+] Cloverfield Clues
This better be good.
Review later tonight.
[+] Released today in Malaysia.
And I am back.
Sunday, January 13
the mind too wishes for its freedom
grant me a wish tomorrow
a wish for all tomorrows
because its all over
and I failed
Friday, January 11
Wednesday, January 9
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton of New York rode a wave of female support to victory over Senator Barack Obama in the New Hampshire primary on Tuesday night.
[+] For Obama, the majority still can sway in his direction.[Read Full]
[+] Exit Poll shows majority of women voted for Hillary;[Exit Stats],[Read Full]
the flickering of the unsaid words
through the morning dew, through
the daylight and afternoon meals
deranged mind talks louder but the
volumes muted to empty air from
the mouth that struggles to speak
standing with my back to the door
another door closed near my heart
then my mind and finally my eyes
muted to the visual flickers of
words still remaining unsaid
strangely dancing on my wet
eyelids while my brain talks
of eternity and damnation
sensual fireflies through the window
cool breezes slip in secretly spying
spirals and perfect mathematical
curves on everything forbidden to be
spoken and still the words flickered
wanting to steal the laces and the silk
sari strewn across the floor in mysterious
and no we did not look for your
traces in the rice flats laid to dry
in the same sun that gave you light
for your first steps and growing days
when you resonated with flowers and
scents and we still did not look for
the resolutions of the smells and colors
from the road junctions to the hidden
country roads where we stopped for
directions where words still told
stories but mine could not even
picture a day before or a day today
and the words remained unsaid for
the fear of a broken heart
your steps and paths took you
to faraway places but the heart
still yearns for those days the
words that should have been said
but we are humans we are lost
we are paralysed with awe and anger
and fear silences the roots of any
[#] I need to jump into 90 hours of job due next Monday!!! and not forgetting the due or demise of 'the thesis'...imminent end of the world.
Tuesday, January 8
of all the things I dream of
of all the things I wish for
of all the days I stay awake for
of all the evenings I die for
of all the nights I wait for
of all the people I love
of all the time I live for
I wish for only one thing
I wish I could relieve the past 5 years
I wish I could redo every moment of it
I wish I could change all the things that went wrong
I wish I could prove that I am someone
I wish I could find the real me
I wish I am, myself
I wish I am me
Monday, January 7
Whoever been following English soccer would know the deep pile of dung that Liverpool is in, 18 years without a title and continuously humiliated by Manure Unite, Arsenal, Chelsea, and 1000 other teams from the championship to no league's. Yes, England has that many teams. So what makes a team? I dont know, I dont care. I'm going numb watching them draw for the millionth time this season. I thank the mighty Gods my evil housemate is a Liverpool supporter, cant imagine what would happen if he's MU! Ooo nightmare. So if everything goes according to plan, Rafa Benitez a.k.a the Liverpool FC coach will be sacked, hit the sack, kicked the futball bucket by the end of the season. And a new coach will take another decade to win us the cup. God Bless scouse. (and the rest of you can go watch ur cricket...:p)
What about the weekends? Man...it's like they never last. Seriously, you cant do anything proper on weekends! I planed so many things that I ended up watching movies and sleeping all the way. And did my work last night midnight. grrr...
Ok now to the resolutions lah. See i wanted to stop drinking soda in 2008, but what happened? I celebrated the new year with the good ol root beer and booze. not a good sign to ward of those free-radicals and bad acids and sugar they put in those cans. And then second resolution was to clean up the house, which I am now officially postponing to 2009 coz i know I wont definitely do it. Next resolution is to stop watching the telly...coz I'm getting an overdose of Youtube anyway. But noooooo...you see I succeeded in doing that for the last two months...but from January 1st...I've been watching telly for like 6 to 8 hours a day! that too while doing work which decreases productivity, increases distraction and results in an overall destruction of the world stock markets because of negative economic indicators from the booming third world economics now being eaten alive by China and the increasing oil prices. Amen.
The next resolution would be to...save the money I make. Which means no more binge shopping...impulse shopping...watever you call it. Save money...be stingy...cut down on starbucks! Im gonna brew my own coffee.
Dats all d resolutions for now...ooo wait...yeh...get a girl...damn almost forgot this. Any mirror shattering dark haired blue eyed supermodel physicist girl out there who are interested in slightly overweight talk dark handsome blogger nerd food aficionado...please mail me with a full picture of yourself and the picture of the last thing you cooked.
Thats all for today, I'm gonna go bake a cake...instead of typing my thesis.
Have a nice start of the week folks.
[#] not time to edit this post, so plz bear wit me wit the spellings...
Saturday, January 5
Friday, January 4
The new year, my TV busted some pins and now everything's yellow, the electric kettle decided to die, fridge full of junk and something is growing fruits in there, zee PC has slowed down...like so...so...seeeellllllooooowwww...like that. I've been listening to trance all day hoping my brain would work faster. Screwed up and been offered some extension by the project manager...of course he doesn't know I have two more jobs from another company to finish this weekend. Not to mention the thesis...since 5 years ago. And no I never get free products...why? I just help them sell a freaking million stuff and I don't get a free one. No. And it's going to rain...like really rain! Raining elephants or something. Oh, guess what that asshle Edison did to an Elephant...watch the video too.
I'm gonna go sleep now...hopefully cook up a badass lucid dream...and when I wake up, on the table there will be 1 copy of thesis all done and bind-ed, all my weekend work finished, apartment cleaned, a Lexus parked beside my 15 year old bike, Liverpool win the Premiership and all the books I borrowed read and returned. Or just don't wake me up till September. This is a rant post. My ongoing project to bore the blog Gods to death. Information Blasphemy.
I'm awake. Nothing changed. Rain stopped. And mysteriously...the sink iz full of dishes! I so need to get
I c many relate to diz situation...hemmm...
Now the next ordeal...to get food.
Oh thanx Mandeep...Olav rocks!
and Vj thinks he's proteus the sea god. everyones going cookooo...
I'm watchin national treasure one...while the two is downloading...
Thursday, January 3
What more can you ask, and definitely they were not confined to the backyards for ages. They fought together with men, they lived together in class defined societies silently soaking up the anger for another day of love. They marched through years of solitude and depression to create an image of divinity. Something about their touch and their resolutions that we cant forget. We cant forget the faces, the lines of time on their face and their deep eyes.
Unforgettable memories of backyard destinies where the women of the world defined our lives. Today they are not confined to the backyards anymore. But we must not stop the liberation of the minds just because a few men believe in status and fate. And we cant stop the liberation of touch just because a few spoiled brats and rebellious vixens continue to shout that there is no level playing field. The respect of women comes from within the house and not the front pages of the news paper. And no rebellious voice can ever justify what the true soul women went through for ages. Revelry doesn't define freedom, whatever your cause may be. Standing your ground does. And a pure heart too.
This is not fate after all, this is belief, trust and respect. Something that we found genetically predefined in Asian women and I believe the women of the world.
Tuesday, January 1
Sometimes the human right reports and other types of social activism does not capture the cultural or religious aspects of certain countries in compiling and eventually branding an image to the affected countries. But it must be seen in a modern day perspective where information technology continues to prevent the concept of privacy and personal freedom; its a double edged sword. Where there is a technological will there will always be a way to find out the truth. It is indeed sad that Malaysia did not try to improve after all this while, but I believe the future will be better as the government will to a certain extent protect the privacy of the citizens. One thing to ponder is, for how long will the powers that be, undermine the power of information exchange and the determination of a border less 'electronic' youth population?
As we step forward in time, we are really stepping backwards in term of political and social responsibilities. Hope this will be the first resolution in 2008, hoping that freedom and liberty continue to be championed by everyone and be a vital reference point for all youths.
"He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past." ...1984; George Orwell
[+] The Full Report