Friday, November 30


This is a snap from the movie Billa 07 (Ajith, Namitha, Nayan), a remake of the classic Rajini starer Billa. Billa itself is a remake of Big B's Don (again, remade starring Shah Rukh Khan which came out last year). The songs for Billa 07 are average, and the movie is mostly shot in Malaysia (just like Don). Somehow I think it's going to bomb...but hey, it's Ajith as Billa and Rajini gave his blessing and Namitha...enough to distract Tamil movie fans from 'street protests'. Come to think of it, if we had some police women commando like Nayantara (pic above)* I will go for any street protest! BTW, please read the plot in Billa 07 wiki, you're going to love it. My advice is, watch this movie, then watch Shah Rukhs Don and realize the real babes are in the Hindi Don, and then to cleanse yourself, watch Rajini's Billa. And have some Southern Comfort at it to sleep it all off.

* Lucky woman, to be standing on a police patrol car like that...wonder how much they paid for the shootings in Malaysia.

At the height of stupidity

Probably you have read this;British 'teddy' Teacher in Sudan Court. It's not a joke, it's another stupid attempt by fundamental religious bastards to deny a persons basic freedom of expression. What's worst, this is so illogical, how could naming a toy with a prophets name be blasphemous when there are millions of humans out there with the same name? Why don't they gather them and put them in jail? Who copyrighted the name to the house of God? Sudan's attempt to uphold religion is a farce, just look at what they're doing in Darfur. Hope justice prevails, but not in Sudan certainly and not in most of the Islamic countries. Just hope the International community does something because if convicted the teacher will be jailed and flogged in public. I guess Britain would just sit it's ass on this considering the non existence actions it's taking about Darfur anyway.

Thursday, November 29


This is not the truth. Today the truth cant be written. We are made to write lies. Lies are suggested to be good for a united existence. Lies also paves the way for corruption to flourish. Like flowers. But flowers wither and fall. But not corruption. Not politicians bastardizing the country. Not them. This is a truth, but no, I cant write the truth. Even when there are graphic images of the truth. Even when the whole existence saw the truth. Even when our brothers and sisters from miles away saw the truth and wanted to do something about it I can't write the truth anymore. Truth Kills. But when the time comes, all information will permeate existence. You and me will see the same and hear the same. Then the truth doesn't need to be written, it will flow. The consequences will destroy the lies. Are you ready?

Wednesday, November 28


The Nights are never cold
The days painfully unfold
The definite freedom
never tonight
You and me shall never see
another daylight


Everyday I recollect
the paintbrush patterns
on the bathroom walls
where I hide the nights
during the nuclear winter
where even the mornings
are nights
I hide.


It happened the other day
the whirling electron
jump out one by one
from the TV mirror
spinning out of control
into wells of probability
the universe with no urgent response
let them live all night
decaying only when morning comes


[#] Tales from Another Reality

Monday, November 26

Malaysian Indians (3)

...Malaysian Indians under mental siege.

The fallout of the peaceful protest that turned violent yesterday continued to reverberate around the country, the mainstream media and the blogs. The mainstream media provided a version of the report that to an extent showed how the authorities controlled the crowd, which it deemed is illegal and provoked the authorities. In a legal perspective, even if there are provisions in the constitution where peaceful gatherings can be done in this country, this 25-11 gathering is Illegal. The organizers have not been given a police permit, even the appeal has been rejected, and a court order has been obtained against the organizers and participants. Basically, for the record and for the readers knowledge, this is an Illegal march. There is no other way about it. But there remains an important question, how and why did this many Malaysian Indians gathered from all walks of life from around the country?

There have been many claims of Malaysian Indians being treated as second class citizens, and coupled with other factors such as poverty, gangsterism and jobless rates among the community, this kind of gathering is indeed a burst valve of raw emotions. I still strongly believe that the organizers made a mistake by making these problems worst. What could have done by community building has now turned into a violent show of defiance. Along with this, while I don't know who provoked who first, the authorities could have handled the protest in a peaceful manner. Certainly the protesters wont be sitting there all day long, it's a day before Monday. But again, the point of the matter is this gathering is illegal. Many Indians would not agree what I write here, but we should not have marched. I'm not voicing any mainstream media logic of why a protest march should not happen, but the fact that these participants have been misled into being there.

Until today it's mind boggling to understand why the organizers want to sue the British government. For one, this is the very government that went into Iraq along with America and created anarchy and destabilized the whole region because of oil. They are back into their colonizing tactics, modern day economic colonization. How on earth will they even answer to the charges let alone provide a solution for Malaysian Indians? Probably the protesters should have realized we are Malaysian citizens in the first place.

All said, there are some grave problems plaguing the community. Many Indians does not see the MIC and it's leader as the savior of the community anymore. There could be many factors for this, but the government insists it is helping the community. If this is so, then where is the help? Where is the money? Large parts of the community are feeling marginalized, they are pushed into debt and poverty. Many claim that they don't have business assistance, which is true to an extent. It is extremely difficult to get a bank loan to start a business if you are an Indian. Basically, there is no collateral for them to get a loan in the first place or a secure job to apply for monetary assistance. Many don't have their own homes, being abruptly introduced into urbanization from generations being estate workers, many Malaysian Indians don't have any future security. This pushes them into gangsterism, violence and alcohol problems. Many students drop out of schools, many more could not finish their tertiary studies let alone break out into the job world. All this happened because the MIC and it's leader being the only Indian voice in the government have failed time and again to address the WHOLE community. Favouritism in the community itself is killing us. Probably the 25-11 rally is targeted towards MIC more than anyone else.

Having talked regarding this issue with friends, there is a believe that Malaysian Indians are the root of their own problems. The rally organizers have used factors such as temple demolitions, body snatching religious officers and the lack of respect for the Hindu faith as a reason on why people should take part. Looking back into the issue, the problem lies in the fact that we Malaysian Hindu's have failed our religion, our temples and God. We only gather to voice out our displeasure when our temples are marked for demolition for development, while the majority of time we pay no attention into community building programs at the temple's itself. Many of us only go to our local community temples once or twice a year for Thaipusam and other festivals. If we have taken an united stand into promoting our temples as cultural centers and educated the children with religious studies, then we would have pooled our resources in buying the land situating the temple (many temples in this country 'squatter' on government or private land).

The community have failed our children in not giving them proper education. For decades the Tamil school sentiment have permeated the society and turned it into a political issue. Malaysia is one of only a few countries around the world to have full Tamil schools outside India. But Tamil education is not solely an issue here. The real challenge is outside there; the fast forwarding world. We are focusing on a small issue of safeguarding our mother tongue, when education at home would have been enough to educate our children of the Tamil language. Maybe in some issue's we can tolerate and send the children to national schools rather than bickering about un-resolving issues. The point is loose today and win tomorrow. And this would certainly improve racial integration. There are many racial, religious issues plaguing our community, but sacrifice today just like what our fore fathers have done for generations in Malaysia can see the future generation live in a peaceful land. This is more than any protest rally can do for our community.

If we have live 20 or 30 years ago, it would have been sufficient in looking inside, but today the world is our challenge. By continuing to look inside and fighting among ourselves, we will eventually left behind. Maybe it's time to refocus our attention. The many successful Indians can take a guiding role in promoting what opportunities is available in this country. Many are unaware of what education, job and business opportunities available. If we move as groups we can achieve the business freedom that we want. This is more rewarding that a single person trying to seek business loans or business niche for himself. But being united will forever be a problem for the Malaysian Indian community. In this sense, what happen on 25-11 can be seen as an isolated event where the protesters have been lied to, had their minds under siege. I don't want to write more about this issue, many would not agree with me, let me a 'lost' Indian here. But the problem is not outside, the problem in inside our community. Think about it.

[+] This two days have been a marathon, been watching too many news updates. But one thing is clear to me now, this is not the way, it wont help the community at all. Our collective voice must be heard by the government in a peaceful manner, through a peaceful dialogue. I hope the persons involved would think about this as well. I needed to write this to give a better perspective to my readers on what happened, it's not fair in creating a deviant image of the country, we are still a peaceful country. It's the opportunist racist politicians who fail this country. All this will end in the near future I hope. Just do it during the elections, choose your voice. Other than that, for me, I prefer blogging about other things.

[+] An interesting Article from Malaysia Today;[Are we not Indian enough?]

[Disclaimer: The 3 posts of 'Malaysian Indians' is ONLY to highlight the well being, safety of the person(s) involved in the rally and the events that occurred on 25-11. All posts are based on my personal opinion, all links coming in are intellectual properties of the originating blogs, news sites, videos and other online materials. At NO time and for NO cause, do I, Ghost Particle, the caretaker and founder of this blog (H+U) support or condone the organizers of the rally. No racist opinions and/or comments are welcome here. Thank you.]

Malaysian Indians (2)

[Update] This article reflects what the Malaysian Indian community should be doing rather than taking to the streets. Many might not agree, but then it is a start for all of us.

Change must come from within ourselves

At the end of the day, it is in the hands of the Indians whether they want to do better for themselves and their future generations. Street protests are definitely not the answer.

[Read Full: The Star - Change Must Come From Within Ourselves]

[Update - Batu Caves] The whole day I was searching for news on what happened at the Batu Caves temple complex. This is what happened []. The riot police fired tear gas into the temple compound, after locking the protesters inside (?!). Why is there no respect for my religion in this country? Isn't it enough that they mock us Hindus? That they tease us for praying to stones, that they laugh at us for wearing the Thirunur/ Vibuthi? That they continue to demolish temples? Is it wrong that we have the oldest religion and that makes us deeply religious and highly cultured? They continue to trample us and then they expect us to stay silent?

I don't know until when I want to be neutral on this, the blog world is feeling the after shocks of today's event, more and more Malaysian Indian bloggers are writing about this, I too wish to change the wrong to right - peacefully, but don't provoke our anger and don't test our patience, respect the Hindu religion, respect our basic and constitutional right to practice our religion freely and don't EVER attack our temples. I wonder is this the democracy that the government and its politicians been talking all day and all week. We all wait for you to answer to what happened today.

[+] More images from the protest at KLCC;[]
[+] More images from the Internet[Flickr 25th Nov]

[Original Post] 1000 years, 150 years....or 50 years. Where are we headed? What happened on Sunday 25th of November is indeed momentous, but whats more interesting is that it's not only the poor Indians or the much stereotyped estate workers who protested, there are professionals from all walks of life. Every Malaysian Indian out there must have felt the pain of the protesters. Does the feeling of being suppressed so evident that we Indians are willing to do anything, or do we think that we have the moral rights to do this so that our children and the generations to come will get the rights they deserve? Too many questions, but now many solutions.

It's now in the hands of the authorities to figure out a way to address this problem plaguing the community and not simply sweep it aside as an isolated case. The repercussions might be drastic from various sides, but do we want to sit and watch our beloved country crumble to the ground because of some opportunists and racists out there? As always be reminded that what goes around comes around and respect the image of Gandhi the protesters carried, non violence and peace. Today there's an open road for the Indians here, the protesters have made a point, but the community remain divided. But for the best of everyone, please go to the polls to show what you want not the streets anymore. And empower yourself to face the world out there. The only way out of this problem is creating an atmosphere were the solution can appear itself. We are poor because we are not together, so rebuild this community, stand united, enrich and educate our children and lets chart the future together.

[Disclaimer: The 3 posts of 'Malaysian Indians' is ONLY to highlight the well being, safety of the person(s) involved in the rally and the events that occurred on 25-11. All posts are based on my personal opinion, all links coming in are intellectual properties of the originating blogs, news sites, videos and other online materials. At NO time and for NO cause, do I, Ghost Particle, the caretaker and founder of this blog (H+U) support or condone the organizers of the rally. No racist opinions and/or comments are welcome here. Thank you.]

Sunday, November 25

Malaysian Indians

[Update 8 pm] The Tv3 news reports that around 200 person is still held at different detentions centers. No mention of injuries to the protesters, but some Police officers were injured in sporadic confrontations. And the weirdest thing is that it seems the organizers of the rally simply 'faxed' the petition to the British Embassy! Is this march/rally/protest lost in translation because of bad organization, no planning and definitely because it went against the law? You can see how confusing this is being a few hundred miles from KL, I wonder if even the people in KL knew what really happened? Certainly there are other ways to claim what the Malaysian Indian community needs, and certainly protests are not the way, but yet again this is a minority community without a voice and it's only leader within the ruling government doesn't seem to be able to help every Indian any more. In many ways, by doing a 'race' based rally, it had brought danger to the community itself, because of this kind of misinformation and SMS rumors that sent wrong signals and made this many people march for something they themselves are not clear with. Why carry the images of Gandhi when the rally turned violent, and why are some carrying the British flag? Why sue the British government? What do the Malaysian Indian really want?

[Update 4.30 pm] Just read from a few sites including that all those arrested has been released unconditionally. Will wait for the evening new for the Police to confirm this. The injured has been sent to the hospital. Hope everyone can get back home safely, ignore all other rumors. Anyone who reads this site or other News site, please remind others that all else is rumors, there's NOTHING else happening since the protest this morning, please ignore SMS's. And for your safety, just go about your life, everything ended, peacefully or not is not for me to judge, you saw the updates, AlJazeera has very good video+interview updates, even had one with the Chief of Police. He specifically mentioned that the authorities were willing to let the organizers to go to the British Embassy to hand over the petition, but the person(s) involved were not there to be seen. Have to verify this, thus far no conclusion weather the petition is given or not to the Embassy officials. CNN and BBC news updates have started to appear, rest of the world probably would be able to watch them now. God Bless all, take care.

[Update 5] March Ended according to; dont know any other updates except the ones from AlJazeera. Some updates in No casualty report, but people are arrested. Please find out more about that if anyone you know went there. Lets pray for safe return of everyone, everywhere. Dont provoke or anything anymore, dont spread SMS or anything else. Wait for local news which might not happen considering the state of press freedom in Malaysia. Wait for AlJazeera. No updates from Batu Caves, no images no news.

RTM (Malaysian national TV and News) had an interview with The Chief of Police who mentioned that no force were used except that 'water' were shot at the crowd. But AlJazeera news clearly showed that the water is laced with chemicals and tear gas were fired. Hope all ends well. [All Under Control]

[BBC Update]

God Bless.

[Update 4 - 12noon ] The AlJazeera 12'clock news just ended, the protest was reported from the KL studio. It was to be a peaceful march, but it was illegal in the sense that no police permit was given. Protesters gathered from early morning, video news shows tear gas fired into the crowd at KLCC. Still no news from Batu Caves. Rumors are rife, but no news yet. The AlJazeera newscaster interviewed Devamani, a BN-MIC MP who claimed the march is illegal and said that everyone has the right to elect the government they want using the ballot box. All I know, this protest could be the beginning of the end for Samy Vellu and MIC. Video shows protesters NOT provoking the police, they are just sitting, they are under siege from the riot police. Protesters; Indian men, women, senior citizens are marching for human rights and essentially a way out of poverty in Malaysia.

This is a march for basic Human Rights and Indian Malaysian rights underlined in the constitution of Malaysia and the Human Rights charter of the United Nations.

AlJazeera news update every 30 minutes, live reporting from KL studios and around the world.
[+] More news updates from; [USA-Today], []

[Update 2 11.45 am] New Al Jazeera Video Update.
Situation reported to be clam, no further updates from Al Jazeera (Astro Channel 513), no reports in BBC or CNN...maybe I've missed it. Please wait for final updates on what really happened, so far images of arrests and tear gas fires are from the Al Jazeera news video update. Not sure what really happened at the Batu Caves temple complex.
For Malaysian Indians: Please dont trust ANY sms you get and please dont forward any sms regarding this march. No one knows the real source. Dont react emotionally. Please follow the links below for more updates, but dont believe everything you hear and any calls or sms. If you have any family members who went for the march, please contact them and find out regarding their safety, protesters were captured, so please keep check.

[Update] Al-Jazeera News: 10,000 Malaysian Indians gathered in KL city center, thousands more in the Batu Caves temple. Video shows many protesters taken into custody, including women. News reports of many protesters in Batu Caves temple complex.

Ethnic Indian Protest in Malaysia

Is This Democracy?

[Original] No one believed that this peaceful protest will ever be handled peacefully. Police and the reserve units started firing tear gas and water cannons at the Indians gathered around KL city center and the Batu Caves temples. News report says many were arrested on the streets and the Batu Caves temple complex itself. Lets hope this ends in peace. God Bless everyone.

[+] AlJazeera Breaking News Video of the Crackdown
[+] Follow the Peaceful March unraveling every minute at[]
[+] Malaysiakini Updates
[+] Some news report of the event from around the world [CBS News - Malaysian Cops Teargas Hindu Protesters]; [Reuters - Malaysian Police Fire Tear gas]

[Disclaimer: The 3 posts of 'Malaysian Indians' is ONLY to highlight the well being, safety of the person(s) involved in the rally and the events that occurred on 25-11. All posts are based on my personal opinion, all links coming in are intellectual properties of the originating blogs, news sites, videos and other online materials. At NO time and for NO cause, do I, Ghost Particle, the caretaker and founder of this blog (H+U) support or condone the organizers of the rally. No racist opinions and/or comments are welcome here. Thank you.]

Thursday, November 22

All The Nights

the metallic taste
of the last drops of water
in the ceramic mug
on the edge of the table
and I pushed it down
watching it fall with terminal speed
to the bottom never reaching
slowly now
then the shatter
the noise of displacement
disfigured shards of something dead
she crawled out of bed
silence at first then I heard the door open
then I heard her breathing
with a blanket wrapped
over her naked body
she watched me
watching the mug
falling down still
when did she come
was it before it hit the floor
how long was it this night
our eyes locked
then the crash
the loud sound
the shattered mug
lie helplessly on the floor
and I followed her to bed
with no morning waiting



I never really paid much attention to this issue, the meaning of blogging. Hence today I need to get some feedback, some idea of what blogging is to you. As we move ahead in this so called digital revolution, a lot of us tend to ignore the multitude of parts that make up the digital world. Everyday you surf and 'dance' in the world wide web looking for something that either contributes to your work life or enhances your social life. This is truly a blessing where a decade ago there are still people writing letters to pen pals, wheres today we have people boring the daylight out of others either by IM or e-mails. But one thing for sure, the WWW means business in all sense. Any free service out there is tied with some kind of money making 'hidden' business plans. (Bear with me on this, I will get to the point soon). Adverts either in your inbox or at your blog and sites generate money by simply knocking out your fine senses. Color and no less touch; the digital click machine, pictures to services, maps to SMS's, we are heading in the right direction and everyone benefits.

So we come to a new juncture, a crossroad and to an extend, a paradigm shift in casual blogging. Casual blogger's like me and the one's who read my blog (all 10 of you). The first thing I want to know is your motivation in blogging. All the blogs I frequent to has some kind of mission statement, while everyone says that blogging is a salvation from the insanity of the real life, at the very fundamental level, there must be something that makes you want to write a post. What drives you to write a post?

The second question is, do you feel obliged, or do you think you are facing a moral rights issue in blogging about certain issues. Push button publishing means one day you can wake up and say 'Fuck the Hell out of this Stupid World' and publish it. And wait in the darkness of your room, with mosquito buzzing and stray electrons from your monitor burning your face for that one or two comments that goes "You rock, death to democracy and conventional nationalism shit, we the nerd shall rule the world". Something like that. But in the true sense, people are going to say you are just another wannabe with an electron gun in the form of your keyboard. This is the idea. Do you 'need' to write to justify an issue affecting your community or to defend your roots or your passion? Focus on the word need.

And my final question is about positive (or negative) feedback. You can forever say it's your blog and you have all the reasons to write what you want...but...does that merit for you to write some dramatized account of your 3 am McDonald's adventure complete with pictures and wait for unsuspecting 'sane' people to say something like 'Shut the hell up and write something worthwhile"? And the next moment you jump on them and say 'It's my blog, I can write whatever I want". Here lies the problem, we are bringing our ego into the medium that enabled our salvation. So tell me, what kind of feedback do you look for, or do you really want a feedback in the first place? Do you want something out of all this?

Monday, November 19


On a lonely hill near the Sirius range
a dead body under the moonlight
buzzing flies tells a story of time
no signs of life but a lonely heart
it might be a suicide or a tragedy in disguise
what he lived for he has unwillingly lost
I know a few alive who can relate
this is an empty soul in fight
seeking redemption for a battered life

all around no one in sight
I sat there watching him age
sparkles of dream jump and take flight
slowly joining the stars of his fate
in the shallow hills of the forest
twinkling dreams wait for sunshine
the dead mind agreeing to assist
my own salvation from a crazy life
so that I too can live into the night

[#] Weird.

Sunday, November 18

The Colors of Life

The colors of life is the reflection of the colors of the world. The psychological needs of the new world means that people need to grow out of their physical self. The world as an inspiration, the colors as labels. When an idea is formed, the colors reflect, the world transients quantum moments, the self moves forward. In all essentiality, tomorrow is not the same as today, but the labels will always be there to guide us. This is the colors of life.

Thursday, November 15


(Warning...Rant post...heh! If you want to miss this, there is a better post before this)

Finally the village mall opens in the funky town, and the crowd goes wild. Actually, not that wild. You see in this great big 'Ooooo...I want that too' country, there are many people who doesnt understand basic economics. They don't know what the people in this sleepy hollow needs, one thing or sure they don't need a high class joint. From the outside the place looks all so cool, but inside (if you're in SP, please DON'T go inside) its all the same old hawker styled 2 bucks store. All full of cheap China knockoffs. So we searched high and low for something good, there arent any! Why do they always think we need high street (but cheap) fashion outlets? And in a town half an hour away from Penang!!! We even have a giant Gayathri Silk store here with no customers. They never learn do they, there's like 20000 Indians here who will definitely go to Penang for festival and wedding shopping. Bottom line is, We Dont Care if you build the largest mall's or whatever here, we just want bargain :D...its the town with the cheapest food in Malaysia!

So back to the Village Mall, the name itself sucks. We know this is Sungai Petani which is Malay for Farmer River (betcha dont have a cooler name for your town). And why on earth do you go name a freakin mall with an ugly name like village mall? Dont you hear enough jokes about SP? Idiots.

Ooo...there's a Starbucks there. And well me being the guy who brags about Starbucks in KL took the possy for a drink. The place was full the first day. On the second day, it was EMPTY! My prediction is slowly working. Starbucks HQ, if you're reading this, You opened the store at a wrong wrong town, we give it 6 months to a year to close down. Okay we go in right and I have set my mind on the green tea ice blend, the only stuff I drink at starbucks these days. We walk up to the cashier cum the guy who takes order and shouts at his assitant cum the coffee maker cum village idiot (har har :D Village idiot, get it? :P). And he goes 'HeloSirWecomeTohThStarbuksMayIhavYorOrderPise?' (he said that in 2 seconds, maybe less.) And we go "Oh..hmm...ok". And then he pointed to the new lineup for I think the Xmas season blend. And like all responsible cautious customers, we said Yes! the next second. Okay and I bet myself 100 bucks that I said two ice blend and one hot Mocha Praline Frappuccino's. So it came, the two clowns who work there made 3 ice blend coffee's. As always, not to make a scene, and it being a newly opened joint, we just took the coffee and made out way to the chairs. I feel the SP Starbucks is just too 'open', it doesnt have the cozy privacy like the Starbucks in Borders Time Square.

Finally after a few 'there and here' argument, we went to the terrace chairs and sat down to enjoy some of the worlds finest coffee (yeh rite). And then...WTF! It tasted like...there is no word...Starbucks...answer me...Why do we need to go to Starbucks if the coffee tastes like the 'a dollar a cup' you get from the roadside stalls? Why...why...why? Starbucks has great coffee's...the aroma itself will jolt you...the calories can keep you not hungry the whole day :p And here you have undertrained people making lousy coffee in unknown territory. What if you have days when there are no customer, then what?

Sometimes you can never understand the franchises. If there is a place on top of the Everest, they will open a store. It's probably good if they do some market research and find a place where people can actually spend 3 to 4 dollars for coffee. And think hard why you dont have Starbucks in Africa. I like Starbucks, once a month or so I can pick up a book at Borders and drink the green tea and eat the freakin good sandwich. These are places where you can observe how people mingle and go about their business or have fun. All customers are not the same, small town people hang out longer at coffee joints, and they don't use laptop's either. Starbucks like all the other foreign franchise employ locals, it keeps the micro economy (?) going. In the near future it will be imitated and it will loose out, but what they deliver will ultimately win the customers. But then again you have to think of what people really want, the customers come first. So it's a big NO to Starbucks SP. Wrong town, wrong time and wrong taste.

[+] Starbucks Malaysia

[+] Wiki Starbucks

Wednesday, November 14

It's Time To Go

Take care Ghost...I will miss you.

As the day dawned and the emerald stars glitter in the summer sky, and the waves caress the shallow beach, we said goodbye.

Was it a year ago that we were together again? Then you left.

Hello Ghost, it's been long. How have you been?

Hi Orion. I'm good, I missed you. Kiss. Love.

We walked along the beach. Wish this would last forever.

Does it have to be this lonely again, millions of years in the future. The stars burn brightly, the planets scattered in ancient waves. Me, I'm all alone waiting. The rivers running through the land, my companion and my friend, you have left along with everyone.

I wished, and we went back in time. Our days together. Laughter, for the smallest things around you gave me life. Everything along the way, we picked up, you placed the pebbles on the fringes of time, and as time forwarded back, the memories leaped out of your eyes as flashes of light.

Remember the day when you did not want to wake up. We hugged and wished to never die. That moment, along with others now entrenched far away in the neutron stars. That maroon dress, with the silver and gold sparkles, and gem stones resembling creation. And a bonfire never forgotten. All the matter in the universe bonding, the end on the far horizon of events, just leaping into the dreams of others.

Is that a rose? The most beautiful I have ever seen.

It's a nebula. The loving child of the universe. With a diamond in the middle, shinning ever so brightly, from the observatory, it looks just like a rose after rain, with tiny silver droplets of rain stories on it.

Rain Stories?

Yes, the rain stories. The rainlets remembers where to fall every time. The rose dies and reborn, it captures the rose. It's children, and their children to the end of time.

What happens in a rainless world then?

There is no life in a rainless world, no love and no memory.

For all the worlds we saw, all the world we conquered, we forgot about loneliness. There was a time when the star ships drifted in lifeless galaxies with crews walking into the dark abyss. Those were the days when the human heart yearned for more, just for once. It never did live alone, just like the sunless worlds, all lifeless, no histories and no bones.

Some days after the ravages of the great wars, the man came and offered me something I could never pass. Something so precious, it relieved the pain of the mind. The man offered to recapture my dreams, he would mine the stars and bring back the one thing I want most. And he left when I said yes. The wait was terrifying, the days just never came. It all felt like a long journey where I never aged, because I never wished to seek anything else.

A cold evening in the observatory, as I sat on the edge of the dome peering into the night sky, the lonely moon turning into a mirror for the stars, she came. I didn't know her but my mind and heart recognized her. She was not a demon from the abyssal voids of dark galaxies, she is to be my soul, he brought me life. And that night she just sat beside me not uttering a word till the early morning star rise. As beautiful it was that night, the hundreds of years after that was enchanting as forever.

But at what cost was this new existence? I wanted cure for a lonely heart in a lonely universe. I paid him with my mortal life, an exchange, I am immortal now. He wanted to die and now I live forever. The universe will remain with me till the end. I am God.

In the forest near my house, where ancient fireflies were reborn, is where I keep my memories now. I walk the same path of men. I touch the lives of others. And I continue to wait undying ages for her. I wonder what will she ask me now, as I have all the answers. The moment she asks me something I don't know, I will seek another God.

[#] Another Sci-Fi, and I continue to live forever.

Saturday, November 10


It's raining....and it's so nice.

Come children in the rain
come tonight
we will be the rain...

Friday, November 9! Wohoooo....

Oh man...Deepavali is more tiring than the preparation itself! Managed to come out scratch far...Tonight is the Murukku Party 2007. :D
And I have work to do....cant believe I forgot to inform the clients I'm on holiday!

Thursday, November 8

Pre-Deepavali: Adventures on an Eve that Never Ends

Okay...I know that there is no way to 'undo' Deepavali. It's just that, the day moves so fast that it's over before it starts. So I came up with an idea of having a perpetual festival eve, the one that never ends, the one where you prepare forever, the one that you sit and talk with your buddies for ages...the one where the liquor never stops flowing and you never get drunk. (And then you wake up from the most beautiful dream you have). Knowing all this would never happen, let me share the snaps of a never ending Deepavali eve, the never ending things that I do for all Deepavali's...

The Deepavali Haircut. Having long convinced that I never will have a unique hairstyle, and David Beckham hairdo is a myth, so on every eve I get a cool haircut that makes me feel good for about 15 minutes (the time it takes for me to get home from the barbershop and my grandma asking why does my hairdo looks like an upside down pot on the head).

Murukku Showdown. This one really cracks me up, every eve, I get all the murukku's that mom and grandma make and compare them with my aunties and neighbors! A sure way to rekindle some family warfare of years gone by...

Deepavali light decor. Every eve, my brothers try hard to convince people they own the electricity board. How nice. And every year I stop them from putting the lights on the roof of the house. The ceiling and front lawn is had...forever.

Fireworks. The 60 minutes firework show around the town when the clock strikes 12 (+/- 10 minutes Indian timing). I bet every year there are more fireworks than bombs dropped during the great wars. I'm not going to say anything anymore, Fireworks are Illegal in this country and please dont burn down your house.

All said...I love Deepavali, it reminds me that I've grown up, and I dont fit in a size 32 pant anymore. So folks...have a blast of a celebration, and if the mutton tomorrow doesn't finally choke my heart, I will come with a Deepavali update. And my Sivaji kurta.

Tuesday, November 6

Memories of a Lost Generation

Until this moment, the feeling of confusion continues to grow. The seldom bright sky, the torrential rain in a summer day floods the memories. Not a single day goes by without the worry, the sadness and the moments we wish not to live anymore. In all this, you wonder what happened to the promised days that we were told during childhood. Growing up looks easy compared to these lost days where no solution presents itself. It's not about the choices anymore, its about living. It's not about surviving anymore, its about letting go. It's about sacrifice that not many are willing to take. There was a time when we wished everyone was the same like us, then we grew up. Now we wish we never did. There is no truth anymore. Some you can understand them, what they want in life and where they are headed. They made sacrifices themselves. No justice to push them to make the decisions they don’t want. And in contrast, from our perspective of the world, we must bear all the injustice our self. It's hard to be an old soul. Even if you only feel you're an old soul. The pain of a thousand generation. The inability to grow beyond the physical lines of life even when the mind has reached the edges of time. The feeling of being stuck, in a perpetual regenerating labyrinth. We wish and we wish. I just wish to die for good this time. I think I have lost the game.

Saturday, November 3

The Jungles of Pangaea

They might think why we care too much about them. But this is more than them alone, this is about the world and where we belong. This vague politics worry me much, what might happen in the days of desperation. When crimson rivers run in our polluted cities, there are no modern day warrior to scrape the spirit from the hell's on earth. Why do we glorify the evil so much if not that we belong with them. Their hype and lies are illusions, it might be true but we will never see it. Just like the jungle's of Pangaea, these are lies to cloud the mind from the truth. Might we go back to the beginning, it too will be an illusion, there are nothing true anymore.

[2] The river, a medium sized stream, runs behind the house. It was not secluded, not anymore the heaven, hidden at the edges of the jungle. Some years back, it was, where the mornings are surrounded by fog, and afternoons blanketed by canaries flying in experimental flocks. When all seems almost like an imaginary tale, she said that the place really exists. And we walked, and searched for it, during days and night, we searched the whole land. Did she forget the way? Then we found, the place, the edge of the forest, but not the house. Then I knew, she was dreaming, and her hopes are not real. The world has been destroyed, and the children she was then could only dream of such a place. Long live the children, death to humanity. The future doesn't look good at all.

[3] I had a dream. I'm in the dream now. Let me wake up, in a thousand years, and tell you what it is.

[#] Let's observe what tomorrow tells, this is a running post.

Friday, November 2

Marathon of Hope

The Kuala Lumpur Terry Fox Run 2007 is on the 4th of November (Sunday) at the Lake Gardens (Taman Tasik Perdana). Do participate in this noble event in aid of cancer research and keep the Terry Fox dream alive. How Terry inspired the world is amazing, his motivation and energy should inspire generations to come. He is a true Hero.

Anyone can participate it's a free fun filled event! But of course you can contribute by purchasing the Terry Fox T-shirt for MYR 25 or make a donation and contribute towards a world event thats been taking place since Terry's first run in 1981. It's a fun even for family and friends with lots of activities starting from early morning Nov 4th. The Run itself starts at 9 am.

Please check the links below to find a run in your own country. More that 50 nations organize this run or have organized it. If you have participated before, just leave a message with links to stories or any other info. Thank you.

[+] Terry Fox KL; view the route map and also further information on where to get the t shirts
[+] Details in of the 2006 race and this years coverage
[+] CARIF; the cancer research foundation benefiting from the race
[+] LensaMalaysia snaps of last years event
[+] International TFR Listing; Find your country here.
[+] Canadian TFR Listing
[+] USA TFR Listing
[+] Terry Fox Wiki
[+] Terry Fox Run Wiki (TFR around the world)
[+] Terry Fox Foundation
[+] Marathon of Hope

[#] Ghost got the T's...hope to make it for the run, or I'll run from anywhere I am!


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny