wish I could say this to someone, sometime.
Friday, March 30
100+ Million blogs. What makes 2050 interesting? NOTHING! And please, not everyone in the world likes cricket.
14 days. I'm pulling the plug on the 2050 site, gonna redesign the site, gonna send out invitation only to interested people and only talk about how we are going to get to 2050!
So serious bloggers (part time/ full time/ whatever), mail me.
Thank you and Thank you for the wonderful 1+ year of support, it was not enough. Like I said, 100 mil blogs, what makes us good?
Wednesday, March 28
Okay, the Good News is I got a job, and the even better news is I can work from home when not meeting the client!
The Bad News is....more sleepless day and night fighting demons who wants to make the world a bad place to live. And, its my old job, in a new company!
The Motivation...I need to get at least an Audi 2.0 or a BMW 3 series as my first car since a bugger ex-schoolmate of mine whom we all hate just bought a Civic. Yeh, life is that tough, dog eat dog, cat whack cat...
The real Motivation...since I might or might NOT finish my Masters thesis, and that illusive particle physicists job at Cern is remaining ILLUSIVE, I need to support my ass with some job, any job.
So my new Job Description will be... Ghost Particle,Full time Particle, Full time Translator, Editor, Full time Blogger, Part time Physicist, BSc Physics Hons, MSc Physics Hons (under construction).
Salary...enough to buy me 180 half foot SUBWAY sandwiches in Malaysian currency per month. (it is low...damn low...)
On how to spend your salary...hemmm...for Indians...give 30% to your mother, 40 % for fuel, rent and food and the remaining 30% for medication. Non-Indians can go on with your normal life.
Mode of transportation...motorcycle, unless if it rains...I will sleep and go after the rain.
Chances of getting a girlfriend-wife at work...as good as a cow eating steak on the moon.
Rules of eating order-ins at work...DONT BE SHY, if not, there wont be any Dominos left for you! (Rules when you have to order in...fake migrain and go home)
Favourite expression at work...Smile, smile, stare, smile, stare, smile, stare, try to cover the monitor with the head when surfing porn while giving the dumb Bush look.
New people to hate...the smart ass, arrogant, kiasu, idiotic, fake, stingy, pretentious IT vendors from Singapore (where else! duh!)...I so wanna tell their company name...but thats for another day.
New people to like...the previous IT guy whom I hated because my previous boss bad mouthed him to all of us, whom now called me and gave me the job. Now now, talk about the circle of life, karma, chicken teriyaki...etc.
On off days...turn into a 1/4 metro-sexual dude, and hang out in Starbucks Times Square pretending to be rich. Even rich Indians dont do this here. Spend another half day reading the titles of all the books in Borders and then deciding to buy it for 1/7th the price in PayLess Books.
Advice to everyone seeking for a job...get very rich parents who can sponsor your studies overseas so that you can be guaranteed a job, or at least a few years world tour before you bankrupt your family and work in a restaurant washing plates in Luton, UK. If you have poor parents...WTF are you doing reading blogs and surfing the net! Get your freakin ass on that book and slave your brain to commercial conformity learning theories of jackass trading nations, relativity curry postulates and trishagonometry. A half dead life is waiting for you, a half baked future and a women-less world until you turn 35. God Bless you children.
Parting words...I'm sick again, got the flu...and I'm fat (self pity)...hemmm...I'm hungry now...and need to travel 60 miles to home on a lonely highway...
Monday, March 26
Sunday, March 25
Wednesday, March 21
...a Chinese man started to laugh, slowly at first, then increasingly loud and finally annoyingly loud. Then everyone starred at him, but he was seated facing the wall. So he did not notice we starring at him. I smiled at first then suddenly a chill went down my spine and mosquito bitten arms. (there's a mosquito farm in my apartment). Goosebumps and hairs standing. A guy seated near me woke up and left. He sensed what I was sensing, maybe its hysteria, madness inflicted by a spirit possession. What if the mad man comes running and kills everyone? But then, at that moment, the pretty girl on the other table started giggling. Ok, that was not very assuring, but pain, and worst, death seems to be near. Then he stopped. Just like that. No laughter, not shaking, not ghost spirit nothing! At this moment any sane person would run away because...yes like they say, its calm before the storm. So I just put back the journal, gathered my notes and pen and made a fast exit.
That was my 15 minutes of terror just now. Sleep well folks.
300, is one hell of a movie. And I mean it. By the way, please don't cook it to the extend of making it another sfx trash flick. There is a great great message at the end.
History shall remember a generation, and create another, stronger, bolder, wiser.
Monday, March 19
Sunday, March 18
It's not always you see a brother up on the podium, certainly never in F1. But history has changed, more than a gamble, a brave and confident move by Ron Dennis to hand a rookie seat to Hamilton and watching him prove his worth is the best thing in the world. All the best for the future, a strong start by Vodafone McLaren Mercedes and another superb season just started!
Friday, March 16
I think there will be fireflies flying,
Shining their enigmatic light,
Illuminating the field,
and your grave.
I wonder whether fireflies are real,
Whether they shine in joy or pain,
Whether they resemble our feelings,
Or maybe they are the dead souls of you
and in time, me.
A long time ago beside the river,
The clear water reflected a dream,
One vision that would come true someday,
Then, that was the time we were young,
and full of dreams.
I cry for you,
I don't have anyone to dream with,
I don't have you to guide me,
or walk along me, as we reach that dream,
Happy days are rare,
For there is one less star in the sky,
Another painful memory in me,
This cold December night,
I remember of you,
and myself together.
[*] Wrote this poem after reading the Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin tries to save a dying baby raccoon.
[+] The Original Post.
[-] Two more post below, please do read them. Wont be posting for a while.
...it was mom's birthday the other day. She was happy. But I don't know how she feels deep inside. When asked a few days later she said "...in all my thoughts, I only pray to see him (the youngest) grow up and become someone".
How do I feel? I wish I could tell you the pains of the middle class. But then again, aren't we all the same. We wish to change so many things, but we are incapacitated by love and emotions. I too wish to see him succeed one day. Before that, I have to endure heartbreak and tears. But it's a pain when you can't guide your own brother. Real pain. Thats life. And all we can do is ask why to another day.
-A short break-
Yep, its that big...thats only the root!!!
This is the entrance to the Royal Cottage of the Sultan of Kedah. The place is gated actually (the sign reads no entry - yellow gold is the royal color) , but the forest inside is well kept.
The road leading to the Royal Cottage (in sephia mode)
Thursday, March 15
And on some days you feel like blowing up your PC, killing the guy who created word processing softwares and destroying standards and versions. Why cant life be simple, with a single version of Word that you can use for eternity, a simple PC that never hangs and simple documents created by humans not robots! If I could turn back time...
Wednesday, March 14
And so it came to pass.---> Excerpts from Keling Killahs first Post.
The culmination of a dream, to rid the world of all the anjacks plaguing our not so fair populace. Now that i've satisfied the intellectuals who actually trawl the web looking for blogs in between the long loading times for Jenna's XXX, its time to get to the nitty gritty.
Now raise your hands all you normal illaiyaraja loving ghee guzzlers, how many times have you looked away embarrassed because of that one KNNKLK who decides to drink a whee bit too much and starts doing his own little hippity hop (read: chicago jango) on the pavement whilst spewing Momma's famous mutton korma at pretty much everything that moves. Or at that KLK who decides to have the infamous KLKult Klassic 'O podu' as his ringtone. And we can't forget my personal favourite, the embodiment of the modern KNNKLK. Earring, nosestud, sharp tipped comb, gold hair ( You dickwart, GOLD and BLACK do not mix) and of course the "Look ma, i've got a spork stuck up my arse" side to side walk.
Well you KLKs, bad news. We ( N, S and A, not to be confused with the NSA) are out for blood. We will trawl the likes of friendster sourcing for potential KLK targets to be ripped into. "Machi ponna jack la" to put it in more comprehensible terms for you. Klengstantine and his motley crew are here, you have been warned.
ps: if the above abbrievations make no sense whatsoever, kill yourself or sign on with the army.
The former is painless.
I'm part of the Keling Killah family now. Here's a toast for kick ass adventures from the 'bolehland' to get rid of typical 'kokoi' yindian'ites' from this world forever! Prost!
A few last drops of water (tastes strangely like swallowing metal), 10 minutes past 4 am, some tragic music from an unknown composer, and a country sleeping. The trouble with the world is not the people, its their ideologies, devoid of their self, because it's conjured almost out of thin air, particles of mystery, changing destiny forever. Seriously thinking, maybe we should stop making changes, and just watch. Thinking of canning the 2050, maybe go 'singular', to the singularity, maybe return to the roots. Does it even matter, ideas need branches as well as roots, when the branches doesn't spread well, then the tree dies. And then an ambitious young'ling' sprout out, up into the star streaked sky, waiting for miracles to happen. Fate, eternity, destiny, magic...
Monday, March 12
running away from the future,
living life ahead of time,
not slowing to reflect,
to see the results,
[+] Scriptures of Lifea black tux,
rows of pink,
petals of red,
then a white dress,
reflections of milky white,
yellow bulbs barely illuminating,
trickles of invisible happiness trails,
the bridges of the heart and soul to come-weddings
[+] Top Ten covered bridges to cross - USA Today
[+] Flicker Covered Bridge Cluster.
[+] From around the world.
[+] Have anyone traveled through one? Buzz me. Thanks B-)
Sunday, March 11
When everyone's in some sort of predicament, does another popular day mean anything? Well if it does, then Happy 'belated' Womens day. Tell us next year if anything transpired on your half of the struggle. My half is not going so great either. The rest of the world sleeps tonight, problems unsolved.
Thursday, March 8
When the Standard Model does not play our tune, we Change it. No more market economics and populist statistics. What we want is the fact and what we want right now is the human interface to the World problem. No more theories, no more studies, just simple facts. Human Facts. On other days, you can relax by the sea and capture images like above. On other days.
Wednesday, March 7
On a related matter, US calls the Darfur genocide the worst crisis now, and still doesn't do anything about it. I think for sure they don't do anything about it because it doesn't involve oil, Israel and America. In a few years when it turns into a holocaust, the world will call it a holocaust level crisis and still never do anything about it.[+] The report
Monday, March 5
This is what the insensitive Health Minister said about the deaths...
"From 2004 to 2007, about 240,000 NS trainees underwent the courses with only eight deaths. In other words, with a population of 240,000, the rate of death is in fact much smaller than that in the general population," he told reporters after attending the MCA Central Committee meeting here today"Days of Realization
No one taught us the meaning of days when we are born, we live to realize it when we learn things in life. We go forward and we make connections and we live. Thats what families are, thats when bonds are made, thats when we meet people, make friends, look beyond their skin into their heart and live another day for the sake of life itself.
We live in complex and critical times. We make decisions that are not ours, we do things that we dont want to do for the sake of politics and power play. A few years back the powers that be decided that Malaysians need to have a higher degree of unity by way of integration. Now that is a puzzling word, the many times we hear it and the many times we cant put it into context. Politically speaking, this integration means positive interaction of various races that live in this beautiful country for a better future. This came after the critical message that the politicians have deduced saying that the society is segregated more than ever before. This comes nearly 50 years after independence. They viewed this society as broken glasses, shards that cant be put together by time alone. They wanted ways to bring the people together.
Days of Solutions
National Service (NS) or Conscription is an active form of military recruitment practiced in a few countries around the world, most famously in Singapore where it has been implemented for more than 30 years. The question remains if the Malaysian version of conscription is modeled based on the Singaporean NS. The reality is Singapore needed NS because of its relatively small armed forced and the Singaporean model actually delegates the Servicemen into various security forces in that country. Apart from nation building, NS is meant to give a social forum for teenager to interact and bond with other Singaporean. And another sick reality is that, when that happens in Malaysia, its not about the integration of Malaysians, but it will fundamentally remain as the integration of races. People are and will forever be identified by races in this country and why a solution such as the NS came forth is still mind numbing to be explained.
Days of Problems
To describe my country as the sole country practicing uncivilized politics is unfair, we can always refer to the genocides in Africa, but being a leading developing nation and having various countries looking at us for guidance at times, having problems and shutting our eyes to them are stupid to say the least. When the NS is launched hastily, not much organization and training was given to the facilitators. It became evident of the various problems from fights, rapes and discrimination that happens at the camps. Even the idea of segregating the teenagers and shutting the gates to parents for long period of times is wrong. In a society where things can go wrong, it will go wrong. Many deaths have occurred, the numbers are disputed but the reality is someones children is dead because of this INVOLUNTARY recruitment.
The wrongs come because the parents are not given choices in this matter whether to send their children or look into other alternatives. No public opinion is sought over the matter, no briefing has been done of the importance of the program itself. We have no say over who are fit to go and not. The public has no say on which of the training modules can be useful in the long term. There have been various reports of military style exertion on the trainees. There has been trainees who cant stand the pressure and are forced to go beyond their capability.
The worst decision of all is to include females into the program. The Singapore version of the NS doesnt include girls to be trained with the boys. The bare fact is that, the decision makers had made a grave mistake in including female trainees in the camps knowing clearly they cant assure 100% that the safety of these trainees will be safeguarded. There has been reports of rape and it is still happening. Many of the stories that come out will scare the families in sending their children but it is the truth.
When Days Mean Nothing
When E.Prema died on that fateful day of 28th February, another black record goes up against the NS. But the heart wrenching fact is that she died in vain. Now more than ever, after so many deaths, when we would think that the people responsible would come out with honest explanation, we have rumors being thrown every other way. The real truth is not said, and since the funeral has taken place, it will not be known forever. The sad message this death conveys is that it could be any body's children next. The fact that these deaths have been treated with serious lack of sensitivity, from the first death in 2004 where the boy's body was left in the doorsteps of his house much to the sorrow and anger of his family, to the sad words of the father of Prema who traveled 8 hours to collect the body of his daughter who was given to them without a coffin. Is the Health Minister stupid in giving contradictory reports of causes of death compared to the NS Director? Why is there so many things to hide when one truth is all that everyone wants to hear, the parents of Prema wants to hear?
If someone can tell us that this is not disservice to the nation, then what is this? Someone please prove us wrong that because this death is of an Indian, it was not damning enough to cause alarms everyone. Someone please tell us that if this is not gross negligence in part of the government to prevent the death of a child of this nation, then what it is? Discrimination do happen in the camps, rapes do happen, violence do happen, medical situations do happen, DONT downplay the significance of anything!
Does words mean anything?
Prema's death doesn't solve the need of a better way of bringing together people. Sadly, the only common thing that anyone can face is that this is a death of a child that can happen to any family. And to know that tomorrow or next week or next month another trainee will die of mysterious circumstances brings fear to everyone.
Are we Malaysians too stupid to say NO when something we did not approve of in an united voice did take place and took away lives. Will we still shut up of fears of the powers that be suppressing us and watch our children fall one by one. Will we come out and stand with a singular voice that this conscription is illegal and unlawful and must be stopped until a proper way of conducting it is studied and approved?
Will the lives of the ones gone too soon be returned?
The unity of a nation depends on equal rights of living. When there is a lack in living standards for some, and a special few enjoy the greater share of the wealth, the same problems will cycle. When politics takes a bigger role than the value of a persons life, when politics hides behind the mask of race and religion how can we ever hope of achieving unity.
Putting people into camps and expecting integration is as stupid as the idea of the Holocaust to create a better world race. Death is not a solution, not ever. Where is the logic of a 3 months integration course when in the universities and offices we have people segregated because of race and religion, because we are asked to accommodate to the needs of the few special people or the needs of the powerful.
You come to me with the face of a human, and I will carry you till I die, you come to me with the face of your religion and I will still carry you till the day my legs stop, but will you do the same for me if I am already a human but I'm not the same colour as you?
[+] Some links of the death of E.Prema;[Bernama],[BernamaPhotos],[Star],[Star2]
[*] I am deeply sorry if I used the death of a loved one of a family to put a case against the needs and wrongs of a nation. We should not be called the matyrs of a modern age because we die for a wrong cause, and I believe strongly when the need comes for the people to stand and ask why, then the question must be answered. And our prayers will forever be to the ones who passed away because they made us realize how precious is life. May God Bless everyone.
Saturday, March 3
I'm Gonna Make A Change,For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .
As I, Turn Up The Collar On My
Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street,
Without Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See
A Summer's Disregard,
A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On
The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why Now I Want You To Know
I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World
A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The
World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change
(Take A Look At Yourself, And
Then Make A Change)
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah)
I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish
Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No
Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me,
Pretending That They're Not Alone?
A Willow Deeply Scarred,
Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of
The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me
(Starting With Me!)
- Man in the Mirror, Written and composed by Siedah Garret and Glen Ballard, Sung by Michael Jackson
[+] The MoonWalker version;[MIM]
[-] Have a safe and wonderful weekend. Make the change.
[-] Fixed the broken vid link. Damn you Viacom!
Thursday, March 1
We make a lot of mistakes in life. Mistakes will come back from time to time to haunt you, break you down, push you to the edge. And at that time when things looks so messed up, do you think you can vindicate your actions? No you cant, because they work against you. You never look good in front of them, because its either you messed up growing up or people think you're stealing their spaces. So this fight is for power and space. And then you decide to hand them the power because naturally power without knowledge or intelligence or experience means zilch. But thats where again the world will prove us wrong because its not power that we gave them, but our dignity and principles. That means we have lost everything then.
In this situation, there are two ways handle it. One, is to stay and fight the battle. Two, make a quick exit, escape and come back later to win the war. Whats yours?