Until this moment, the feeling of confusion continues to grow. The seldom bright sky, the torrential rain in a summer day floods the memories. Not a single day goes by without the worry, the sadness and the moments we wish not to live anymore. In all this, you wonder what happened to the promised days that we were told during childhood. Growing up looks easy compared to these lost days where no solution presents itself. It's not about the choices anymore, its about living. It's not about surviving anymore, its about letting go. It's about sacrifice that not many are willing to take. There was a time when we wished everyone was the same like us, then we grew up. Now we wish we never did. There is no truth anymore. Some you can understand them, what they want in life and where they are headed. They made sacrifices themselves. No justice to push them to make the decisions they don’t want. And in contrast, from our perspective of the world, we must bear all the injustice our self. It's hard to be an old soul. Even if you only feel you're an old soul. The pain of a thousand generation. The inability to grow beyond the physical lines of life even when the mind has reached the edges of time. The feeling of being stuck, in a perpetual regenerating labyrinth. We wish and we wish. I just wish to die for good this time. I think I have lost the game.