Friday, July 27

Where do we belong?

In all our dreams, all our travels, all the people we meet, all our days, all our lives do we ever find out where we belong? Will we ever?

Thursday, July 26


Okay, this is truly amazing, the way the movie geek and tech geeks dissect every piece and cell of the movie to come. Amazing is an understatement. Sound analysis of the teaser audio, photo analysis...I bet somewhere some ubergeek with a supercomputer would have done some DSP or image analysis complete with brain wave analysis of everything Cloverfield, from the makers to the fans. Euphoria or simply genius science fiction stuff?

But the biggest story would be if...the movie comes out as a dud, if we started reading reviews that give it a 'wannabe' status...pity me for not liking Lost, because is lost! But hey, I'm a sucker for SF...b-grade, Z-grade, lets celebrate 21st century cinematic brain drugs! Wohooo!!!

[#] Cloverblog

Our New Home

[#] It's good to be a Liverpool Supporter in this Lifetime. It's really good.
[#] Official Site

Tuesday, July 24

SunTV Tamil News

I was just watching Sun News in Astro Channel 73. They just showed a horrible crash scene verbatim! Fck them! Children could be watching bloodied mangled bodies strewn on the road. Even BBC / CNN don't show this kind of TV cruelty. I know this things are delayed, but it's high time Astro or whoever transmits them to sensor the images. People know how bad accidents are, you dont have to show them how it looks. Let the family face the sadness of the human tragedy in dignity. This is not the first time tough, every news airing has some sort of graphic image. And dont even start on the 'how lame and late' they show news reports, its like a whole 1 week after it happens some times. And please Astro, we don't want to know any crap Tamilnadu politics anymore. We see more than enough here already. Sensor your Tamil News!

Ivory Pianos

during the descents of the days
when the mind seldom forgets
of shameless frolics of golden suns
at the boundaries of scarlet wastelands
awakens grand gravity trees
to compositions of songs of the keys
created by surreal clicks and clanks
of the sacred fingers on ivory pianos
and vast cycles of soul harmony amasses
linearity in nonlinear universes


[#] Don't ask how.

Monday, July 23

Harry The Boy Banker

The weirdest thing is happening here on the sales of the final HP book. Tesco and Carefour decided to give a huge discount on the books and the dirt stupid local bookstores decided not to sell the books citing unfair business. Borders was smarter (yeh they should be, they're not local) went on with the sales and as expected they're sold out (despite selling at the full price!). Seriously, the local bookstores are accusing T and C of undercutting their business or something, dudes, listen, people want cheap books, we have the most expensive book prices anywhere in the world. I would love to see Tesco opening a bookstore! Screw with the unfairness, this is fair business, just look at what Amazon did with the prices. You know what's unfair? What's unfair is that the book seller's are not serious in pressuring for the prices of books to go down. Hell I might even get the book for fun at Tesco. I mean you can protest but why the heck do you stop selling it? The book will probably sell if it's a thousand bucks! [All the past tittles of HP and LOTR are sold at all Payless books around KL for cheap prices.]

So now that the series came to an end, what's going to happen? Will the kids go back to their real life? Will they even read anything else after this? Or will JKR come out with a new series? Or gasp! a Potter reunion book? Probably she can dig something out of all the fantasy books out there and mash up something. Kids if you're reading my blog, You Shouldn't! but if you do, read the fcking book, dump it and go get a real book! Seriously magic and witches don't teach you anything!

[#] Listening to Timbaland - Shock Value while procrastinating...or deciding how to spend my imminent early retirement from the current job. If you see me in the club I'll be acting real nice...if you see me on the floor you'll be watching all night...

Sunday, July 22

The Equation

For change to happen, we need an equation.
The equation for Change is H+U. Human and the Universe.

Now we make it happen, action.

Friday, July 20


OK. It's Time for A Change.

The Time Traveler and his Volvo

...and just as I thought of posting a re-post of my old posts of poems or something.

The weekend hangs wet in the monsoon and just as the rest of the world is IM'ing me asking 'hey, watsup for Friday..." I paused for a moment to look out of the window...dogs barking, the guards must be on the loose again, buggers, cant they just leave the dogs alone. They can kill the cats anytime. So back to the story... Friday?! I dont have Friday is so lame in a free lancer's life, the same goes for Saturdays when I go like 'okay...this saturday I'm going watch all those DVD's and then go to Tesco, get some stuff to make a kickass pasta and then sleep...and read a book and go to the city...'. And Saturday comes I wake up at 1 pm (Coz most probably I would sleep at 7 am or something). I live on EST and CET like all those deprived translators, freelancers, etc. I need to be awake when Americans go to the office, if not I get e-mails like 'Dear SN, please send the files ASAP, the clients are hopping mad!' or 'please send the file by today, we are sorry for pushing you...'. Yeh right, pushing? If you sleep 4 hours a day, pushing is an understatement. Like yesterday at 6 am I felt an earthquake, and then realized it was my body trembling of lack of sleep...

After we uneventfully skip Fridays and Saturdays we come to Sunday. Sundays are like 'BHIS - bloody hell it's Sunday!' coz every sane member of the humanity who planned his/her future would have to go to work on Monday. So on Sundays I wake up again at about 1 or 2 pm, go to the 7-11 and get a carton of milk and the Sunday paper. By the time I reach home there's like 2 cartons of milk (one plain, another banana flavored), three newspapers coz ghost likes the pictures on the them, a few packs of Oreo's (god bless them), a giant bottle of A&W root beer (god bless root beer) and bread and canned chili Tuna. This is a great mystery, have you ever gone obsessive compulsive shopping? I do that at 7-11's. Whatever their marketing plan is, it works on me. Damn! A trip to the 7-11 is like one of that great exodus kind of thing, coz I have to go hunting for food at 3 am and like nothings I'll scavenge every 7-11 in the town to get something and finally end up with everything.

And before this turns out to be another crappy story, I'll tell you that now I'm positively addicted to the net. And I'm downloading like hell! And do my work, more than before, service probably a billion clients and feel all warm inside when I look at my work on major one knows one understands, But the next time you use any web application or mobile guides in the local know, lil ol ghosty had his ghost paws on it (together with thousands or faceless linguists out there, the savior of the human race, the ones who never have vacations and girlfriends). And then we come to the 'my hands are painful' days. I realized I've been typing a few thousand, maybe 10k words per day. My wrists are all painful and my fingers are functioning on their own...I think I'm turning into a Zombie! Eat-Work-Dont Sleep-Wan*-Blog-Eat-Type....

For this whole year I'm trying hard to get a car, the astrologer said 2008 will be good (Yes, apart from all 'I dont like religion stuff' that I say here) I'm still religious like there's no tomorrow...wait! Is astrology religion? Oh watever, so like I wanna get a car so that I can go Travelin! I'm thinking like a Volvo S40 maybe coz it will set me far away from all the losers I went to school with (with their fugly Japanese cars). And me and my Volvo will tell travel stories to each other, we will see great places, meet great people and ride from Singapore to Europe via Thailand, Burma, Tibet, India, Afghanistan, Turkey, Europe (I didn't do well in my geography). But then I'd probably not get a touristas visa into Europe or Yaaa-merica! because I dont have a real job (you need that to get visa there). So i'll park my car at a seaside in Europe...maybe one of those cool Portugal beaches and recite poems into the wind. And Fred will probably go 'you fucking dreamer, you!'. And then reality will dawn that my USD 500 a month pay wont get me a Volvo, it wont even get me plane ticket to Europe. bohoo! A Volvo costs like USD 80k here...I would have to whore my ass in an 8-5 job for ages to get a Volvo and by then the petrol will have ran out and I would be pushing it maybe. Or global warming would have screwed us anyway. A remote possibility would be that I get a full time job which is not happening now because the world is fixated with short term jobs. Hell capitalist warming will get you!

Probably, just probably I can go to sleep now and wake up at 8 and go see the client and pray that the pm doesn't complain to ze boss that I never come to work. But then, ze client doesn't want to close the stupid project anyway! So I'm stuck in I wont sleep, nada. The coda of my life is to...stop typing stupid words and finish that toothpaste website...but hey, procrastination is my game and ghost particulation is my name. (yeh I know, not funny, but you guys laughed to lame Friends and Seinfeld jokes for years, you hippopotamus-crites!). Now, hippo's are cute animals, I dream about them sometimes chasing me on the freeway, but thats just me and a day of eating too much chocolate and drinking too much soda. Coda my soda, porrota with chicken curry and a partridge in a pear tree. I ate deer meat today, pepper deer. I'm a carnivore, heh.

So there you go friends, thats my Volvo Story. Just that I don't have one. And I would be pleased if the good people from good Sweden would give me a good one because I love good Ikea! I have all three colors of the Fniss little pen holders. (If you really do want to give me a Volvo, I love the S80 as well, the most beautiful car in the whole wide world).

The question is "Who Would You Give A Volvo To?"

McLaren Vs Ferrari

[update] Just In! New allegations!

Read the Full Article.

Tuesday, July 17

What Is Love?

the cold night spans moonlit scapes,
beside me lie a rose with beautiful eyes,
around us staggers this incredible journey,
together we tread this imaginary story

daggers and dripping blood infinitely far
searching melodies and candle lights near
dramatic gatherings and laughter, what moves
are we together married and eternally in love?

-gp-sometime in 2005-
[#] One of my broken poems, emotionally overcome before I can finish it, too much a romantic, wanting more than I am 'allocated' in this universe.
[#] I think I've passed my 100 poems mark...I dunno. And the poetry collection: TimeScapes is still in the making, have to get myself together to finish this, it would definitely be the strangest and most underrated collection ever :p

BTW, click on the label:POEM to read more of my poems, haven't labeled all century of it though.

Monday, July 16

Ferrari Trash

I've tried to hold my silence until at least the FIA verdict comes out at the end of the month but the tension is too much. Yet again that crappy mafia team from Italy screws Mclaren point blank and we see Tifosi's everywhere (and including Bernie and Max) hoping so much to disqualify the best damn F1 team out there. McLaren Mercedes is the single best F1 team that outlines how a motoring team can blend motorsports and the corporate world for the benefit of everyone. This is one team where not a single cent goes wasted. They 'get back more than what they put in', all the time. Even Vodafone exited Ferrari knowing that the team revolved around 'Only' Schumacer and there is no hope beyond it. Raikonnen your ass, wait till he turns moody, then you would know who has the real world champion material.

McLaren had the best racers for years, Mika was and still is my favorite, the one man who can kick Shoey's ass anytime and how Hamilton would have loved to do it if shoe face did not chicken out. And Ron Dennis is the best F1 boss there is. There is no way he or the team would ever want to 'copy' whatever crap that comes out of Ferrari factories.

I'll leave the rest of my rambling till the end of the month, but I just beleive that no one can screw Hamilton's golden debut season or Alonso's supremacy , not even the trash that ferrari throws from time to time to mask their incompetencies, Ferrari Trash. Read the histories and you would know which team cheated and sleazes their way through this years and whose drivers cheat all the time; remember Monaco 2006?. I shall wait for all you tifosi's to sink into oblivion soon. The Silver Mclaren will trash the prancing pony.

[#] The Case or GoogleNews

[#] Mclaren's statement regarding the mainstream media circus/ speculations, More Mafia Behavior of Ferrari.


[#] McLaren

[#] Next F1 update - why Ferrari is so messed up after Schumacher/Brawn left and why they're pressuring the FIA with this trash and also what the 'Toad' guy does with all his money (end of month update).

Saturday, July 14

Just another travel photo(s)

Walking through Gua Kelam, there is a beautiful park and camping ground inside the surrounding lime stone hills

Wang Kelian border crossing

Propaganda Tower 2007

Bindran surrounded by mysterious orbs; at the sugar cane fields

Vines in the Gua Kelam forest park

Stalactite water droplets; inside Gua Kelam

[#] Travels during May and June to Perlis (Gua Kelam, Wang Kelian, etc)
[#] Travelers: Bindran, Sandra, BBD, Kumar, Ghost.

Voices, I

i see not children in the fields
pretending emotions
i see dead legions who did not fight
for freedom


Thursday, July 12

What The!

Queen star finishes PhD thesis after 30 years

Wed Jul 11, 7:08 PM ET

LONDON (AFP) - After more than 30 years which he spent as a member of one of the world's most successful bands, Queen guitarist Brian May has finally finished his PhD thesis which he began as a student in the 1970s, The Times reported on Thursday.

May, 59, earned a degree in physics at Imperial College London but after years of studying interplanetary dust, he abandoned work towards his doctorate when Queen took off.

His interest in the subject was reignited when he co-authored "Bang! The Complete History of the Universe", which tells the story of the universe from the big bang through its subsequent evolution, and was released last year.

[Read Full News]

[#] Somedays you know there is hope still.

Wednesday, July 11

Whats worth a lifetime, for?

I realized I've been dragging the same issue over and over again. Comments come and go, assistance, advice in the bulk, special, boring, stale, sarcastic. But I love them all, hungry for feedback I realize I am.

So the day came and went, actually it came many times and went past many times, but this priority challenged brain could not make a decision. Soon I realize more of what my supervisor said is true, the mind and soul and body, working independent of each other wants to make decisions, it fights, the mind wants but the body dont, the soul wants but the mind and body doesnt, the battle goes on. But again I realize that letting go is not as easy, especially when you dont want to let go. The battles of life for passions, and when the passion goes unfulfilled then what is worth a lifetime for?

Soon the conversation with various people amalgamated with the cocky fingers working like a serial rapist of advices and ideas in pushing away the sincere efforts of people. But do I care that they care about what I care? Then after all this I realize what BBD said was true, when we stop judging things, we feel free to do anything. Why a question for everything when all we need is an action for something. A step forward, and so long this futurist wannabe never realized it. What the ghost or sivanesan does have in common is the inability to stop a moment to think.

Why we take steps forward if not to satisfy life, why is because this world is expanding. Its not becoming small at all, this internet did not create super being's who connect everyone in this world, it in fact evolved strangers in a familiar scape. It pushed people apart so much that we had to strain in finding a common link, thats extra work that taxes the brain. More decisions and then the pressure of researching something new comes in view of all this. Thats when it dawns that we are actually judging ourselves wrong by comparing the needs of an individual to the needs of the world. What have I been searching all this while is not to expand my knowledge but to debunk the work of others. Shortcuts leads to wrong paths, tips and trick lead to death.

The essence of all this, a life in search is to satisfy the smaller circle first, priorities what is important before setting forth for new things and outcomes. This is the golden rule of a researcher, a rule that very well came from the family and social institutions. And in this the underlying rule is to search and to let go. You find something, you like it and then you let go of it. The baggage will keep on piling until a point when it doesn't simply occupy space but it takes the life with it. It eats away, snatches time and bury dreams because we keep compensating our time and effort in order to take care of it, to vindicate it and to keep reminding everyone of it. Attempts in glorifying the wrong relics of the human mind. Why God doesn't work in todays world is that when the baggages spill out of a personal circle into the family and friends and the society, then we become conformist who will be punished emotionally by the others in the group when we take a step wrong.

After all this what is worth a lifetime if not to see forward and to welcome the future. What we are going through is a life changing experience, a century of possibilities coupled with human tragedy. This will be know throughout history as the dawning of the new human, when we learned by experiencing things rather than speculating, when we go back to where we come from. A dynamic world challenges the faculties of our belief, a society in constant change, and the death of the conformist.

Think of this as not a fishing expedition, what do you care of the other?, but think of this as a future building project. To realize that life can be consumed if we neglect it is the greatest achievement of a suffering mind. And to wake up the next day will be the greatest achievement of a thinking man taking action and changing things. Why want to waste life in not enjoying things, it's there, just touch it for the sake of it. Why go back inwards, when the world is still fresh from the change that happened yesterday.

This is an expedition of love and life through time.

Monday, July 9

What shall I name this post?

Ok people time for teamtalk, gather around....OoooK. Good.

Now I want an opinion from everyone whether I should do something which might or might not change the course and direction of my life. And no, no marriage involved.

Lets look at this problem, A. I got into A because of my desire at that time to stay in my field of study and become an expert in A. But then, through unforseen circumstances revolving around life and the world, after 2 years, I had to push A to the side well become becoming an expert and concentrate of work and other matters. Now 5 years after getting into A, I am still not an expert nor do I have the spirits to finish A. And to make matters worst, the power's that be decided it's the screw Ghost year when they're planning to kick me out of doing A.

So the question is: Is it still worth to do A, or should I just go on with life?

While the way out is easy, thinking of the 5 years that have gone past and the results that did not come is really depressing. The struggle to stay on track is also painful, as the moth eaten path of time now remain like relics of a young and naive era. And worst of all, it's distracting to what I'm doing now, countless sleepless nights, etc. I just fear the humiliation I will face from everyone who either supported me or detracted me in the past. I told them all I can achieve this, if I did (or maybe do) there wont be much apologies, but surely after 5 long years there wont be much celebrations either. People in the science and research fraternity always has many things to fear but the biggest fear is when your juniors overtake you. You can keep a dumb face for long, sooner or later either you're going to laugh into insanity or cry into a dark corner of your darkest imaginations coming true.

So please do tell me than I'm not to old to be considering all this and that hope never dies and that there is a day in the future all this will be vindicate. (Am I supposed to give the answers? Heh!) Alternatives are many, but the age matter, and getting a permanent work matter and getting on with life matter is more pressing now.

To A or not to A is the question.

Saturday, July 7

07.07.07 - Live Earth.

07-07-07...what is so special about today? So far, I managed to cook something that turned into tasteless roast chicken, ate 3 bowls of Post cereal, watched 5 hours of TV, slept for 6 hours, surfed for 4 hours and worked for 8 hours. Probably the most special thing to happen just now is when Lewis Hamilton got poll position in the British GrandPrix.

Live Earth

Guess what? Today, over the whole 24 hours of 7-7-7, about half a million idiots in 8 cities around the world will attend concerts to raise awareness of Global Warming. And guess what again...its organized by Al Gore. Yep, the guy who invented the internet, and almost became the president. There's enough stuff here to make a Michael Bay movie.

Concerts, people, 'Live' earth...ring any bell? Yes! Live 8 back in 2005. The giant concert that's supposed to alleviate poverty, famine, etc in Africa. It's been 2 years now and people are still dying there, AIDS eradication doesn't seem to gain momentum, Darfur is a bigger mess now and people just dont care.

So you get 150 musicians to sing to what? Reverse global warming? Educate the public (2 billion TV viewers projected) about global warming and then what?! How the heck do you reverse global warming? This is bad science, just like when superman reverse spun earth to reverse time. Plain stupid.

It's Saturday, if anyone wants to make a statement, ask people not to go work for a week and hold the concerts on weekedays! Do you think anyone would give a rats ass to pop concerts trying to educate (see it doesnt even go together!). People are there to party and pollute. half a million people will 'create' rubbish. Why dont Al Gore spend his Sunday touring the venues and he will see what happened.

And all along the concerts there are cartoons (yes cartoons) to show what pollution and GW will do to earth. And how to stop that from happening. Firstly, you cant, WE CANT STOP GW. Secondly, if we stop polluting now, most probably it will take another 50 to 100 years to have any significant effect on the environment. Thirdly, WE ARE SCREWED. Coastal areas will flood, people will die, the environment will be trashed, etc. Finally, NO BODY CARES! We stop now, we stop the pollution, the green house gases, etc and in 10 years the skies will be clear, but then the damage is done. Anyhow STOP polluting now. And dont go to dumb concerts to learn about GW, just get a scoop of icecream and time how long it takes to melt. Like 10 seconds! The earth is freakin warm!

As we can see, this is purely academic. Thats how the politics are portraying the situation. Stupid Bush is crying baby crys that it will destroy the America economy if it ratifies anything in the scale of Kyoto, well FYI Bush most if not all of your green house releasing industry is in China and India! And we all do understand that asking American to stop burning fuel will mean they will freeze to death. But be practical, there are other ways. China and India will never ratify Kyoto either, theyre emerging economies, so it's another big 0 against earth. The farmers in Indonesia still slash and burn -- more smog and haze, Amazon is disappearing fast, shit is happening folks, we are too late.

So how do you save the world? You can get Hiro Nakamura to travel back in time to kill off the industrial revolution and stop humans from coming out with farming or you can just change your lifestyles. Throughout the concerts, if you watch it, you will see tips, cartoons and short movies on how to change the situation. You don't have to watch it, read Live Earth at wiki or just google anything from Global Warming to Green House gases to learn and educate yourselves about whats happening. Or you can buy tomorrows newspaper to read todays news (:P).

Just not to give you the idea of hopelessness, the earth, according to ice core records and climate modeling might not be entirely doomed. This could be just a major reset event, maybe a few thousand years early, but things will turn out good. The only bad thing is that it's happening during our lifetime. So some parts of earth will be underwater; read: Singapore, Bangkok, Dubai (no wonder theyre building tall towers!), no more cute penguins, no more glaciers, etc. But at the same time there could be a freezing event, a mini ice age soon. And desertification -- China is doomed in that way and giant storms and hurricanes around the world. But ultimately things will turn out good. We will survive, just as we did many times before. (or the Super Volcano, Comet, Black Holes, Bird Flue will get us first). Just in case, if you are living on coastal areas, MOVE OUT NOW!

[#] actually more concerts are held around the world today, even in Malaysia, but it did not make the global cast me thinks, the Wembley concert is airing locally now.

[+] Read how Gore defends the concerts.

Friday, July 6

Fall Memory

when memories arise
men will fall
the earth...

earth will grieve
for it has lost the

thus God dies
along with the illusion

and a new journey will begin

the universe ceases to exist
this dream
no one wakes up from

the memories,
where do they come from?

and they woke up
with the songs of the heavens
resonated by the nova quartet
exploding to the tunes of the
forever fountain
in the eyes of cosmic angels


Thursday, July 5

Binary Mania

So now you have 5 active email ads, 3000 saved emails and 120 tags in Gmail alone and you're wondering when you're going to get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. You've been awake 18 hours straight, finished 120 minutes of transcripts, two short translations and checked the bank balance and discovered you are OK for a few more months.

You get a call from the thesis supervisor and you never pick up, and then get an SMS saying I need to register and finish the thesis ASAP and you wonder what you're future gonna be like. And then at that moment your evil roommate walks in and you wish you just took that teaching job and avoided the 5 miserable years here just on time to see him give his 'I'm all innocent look' while he flips the satellite TV.

You walk to the fridge, stumble in the dark, open it and discover spoiled banana flavored milk from last week, scary looking vegetables and the fish curry mom sent and you are happy that lunch and dinner is covered. You wander in and out of the empty rooms, stare at the oven and remind yourself not to cook anything for the rest of the week, and look out of the window to see the swimming pool and a dozen hippos in it and realize global warming is real.

You sit back in front of the pc and watch some YouTubies and then chat with a few friends among the billion or so online, check out a few blogs and realize there are just too many of them. You open up Google and decide to check for some porn when a sudden rush of the boredom hormone knocked that idea out of your head and you realize you might be asexual.

Then the Samsung sang Good Charlotte and you see your project managers name on the screen and wish you had some superpower to make them all disappear and you realize that you are stuck in a job you dont like. You have to drag your ass to the clients office tomorrow, and then sit there wasting precious time while they decide what to have for lunch, tea and dinner and you realize some people can just live being lazy.

So it's the PC, Internet, Emails, Cellphone, SMS, Fridge and Oven and TV that rules your life. (And bills).

You realize this is reality and it's just not worth it and you're just 27. Life must really be bad here or really good somewhere else.

Torres to Liverpool

Finally the two weeks of circus and roller coaster ride came to an end. Fernando Torres is officially a Liverpool FC player!

...aint Rafa looking younger? Chicks gonna dig his new looks!

Wednesday, July 4

4th of July

Happy Independence Day America.

Just to let you know...

We Too Died For What We Believed Was Right.

So stop waging war on the world!


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny