There is something about being given a last chance that so similar to dying. Dying, is also very similar to staying awake, immobile on the bed staring at the ceiling because your brain is working and your body is not. Yet again, during my second meeting, with my supervisor, I got so close of being screwed big time. He is a patient man, and I tested his patience. But he offered me a second chance.
The bad news of all this is, I am still in a loosing party. There is definitely no hope for msc students in this country, especially the ones who's of the 'other race'. The simple sollution would be and would have been to give me the damn grant or research funding and ask me to come out with results. I am doing a pioneering research in this country, and all they can say is that I cant get funding because I dont come out with results. How the fuck do I come out with results if I dont have the minimum amount of funds to come out with something. The cheapest a public university Msc student can survive with in a year is 25K (MYR). Its alot, especially when you dont have a job.
And this ends like this. I am in the 1% category now, and if I stick my ass here longer, I would be one forever. June 26 is the deadline, of which, everything that I fought and protested for for the past 5 years will eventually fall to their benefits. I will still loose this because, I am doing a research and will give away the glory of achievement to someone else. To balance things, I will damn publish the thesis online if it matters to anyone out there.
Next year, if my life doesnt turn around, I am leaving this country. The Road to Perdition just began today. Hell I'm waiting for June 27.