Tuesday, January 30

Thaipusam 2007, Road to Thaipusam


More pictures and stories here;[PenangThaipusam],[ThaipusamStory],[ThaipusamStory2],[GoogleNewsCollection]

Have any Thaipusam Memories? Share with us! Email your stories/ messages to [admin[@]ghostparticle.com]

[Original Post]

It's back.

And proudly, Human+Universe is the only blog that documents the Sungai Petani Thaipusam.

Please read about past celebrations here; [ Thaipusam 2006 ]

Some snaps; [Thaipusam 2004],[Thaipusam 2005],[Thaipusam 2006],[2006-Chariot]

Some videos;[2006-Sp-Thaipusam]

Friday, January 26

Stranger In Moscow (or on the roads)

I got into the train and everybody stares at me. I look at one direction which
turns out to be the correct direction and everyone still looks my way.

How does it feel when you know you're the only correct person in the
whole wide universe?

Well, first you loose all your friends, then you
hear voices in your head and finally you fall asleep.

You wake up, and you realize 50 years has passed and everyone you know has died.

You find half of the land masses under water, no tree in sight for a million miles and
you say "they're alive!".

Then you reach the one beautiful place, you take in a breath of fresh air, walk along the beach, with Maxwell's waves washing suicidal sand castles and tiny birds plunging into the sun.

Deep into
the night, after the bonfire and twinkling stars you fall asleep again.

Minus 60 years, in the train, minus 10 years from the start of the
story/ dream. You and her, holding hands, oblivious to Einstein staring at you
from him relativity rocket. The train on course to Saturn.

Minus 55
years, on bed, minus 5 years from the story/ dream. You have a passionate,
loving, utterly mind blowing, super sensational sex. She falls at your side, you
smile back to her, she kisses him. You are standing outside the window, gazing
ever so silently at yourself making love. You realise you are dead?

Minus 53 years, beside a bonfire, minus 3 years from the story/ dream.
You are wondering if you're the only correct person in the universe. God
appears, and says 'GO TO HELL!'. You ask him to show the way. (That should teach
that bastard!)

Minus 52 years, on bed, minus 2 years from the story/
dream, minus 35 minutes from a tight slap. Sex with your teacher. Then it came
to you to ask about the math question. Stupidity. They never understand.

20 years. In a spaceship near a black hole with Hawking's android. (and
the teacher as the voice of the computer). Black holes do emit radiation. (serves them right!). The event
horizon skews your probe, stretches it across its orbit, scares the computer
with its own image, whom then destroys the ship. God wakes you up, beautiful
maidens strolling naked along a river. You bite into a grape, God explodes. You
wake up, the mail man brings a lawsuit.
20 Years after you die. Your soul roams the streets of
Moscow. Strange greenish grey hue, sky darkish grey, one yellow car, dirty on
the side of the road. And you were still wondering why those people stared at
you 80 years ago. They must have known, you are the most correct person in the
universe. You tell yourself ' YOU ARE FREAKIN DAMN
2 years after the sex with the teacher, 5 years after the sex
with her, 10 years before the train ride. You're in a bus on a 10000 mile
journey. It will take you across the continents to your hometown. 2 days into
the journey, in an insane snow storm, you ask yourself who do you live for. The
snow rain trickles down the fogged up windows. Your daughter wakes up, all huddled up in her
warm blankets and coat and blows you an angel's kiss. You pick her up and hug
her. She's 4 years old.
As the sun rises, the moon still a few micro parsecs up, the
fogged up mountains glows yellow and gold. You snap a photo of the scenery, pack up your
little picnic and get abroad the bus. Your daughter, now 10 years old, immediately powers the
notebook and starts to webcast her journal. And she uploads the
photo. And you fall asleep on her laps, her fingers caressing your hair.
So now its a week after the 50 years in the future. You
finish up with the Journal Master. You lived a full life. But you fell asleep
too soon. The drugs and the journeys. Your daughter died when
she was 25. No one knew she had cancer. The 10000 mile journey ended when she
was 24. You reached the town, found your house clean and tidy. She was there
waiting, in a red dress, her blue eyes sparkling, her dark straight hair and her
warm touch. She hugged her, then you and then it was a year gone. Almost a year.
You left them, went to work, boarded the train, and everyone did not bother to
look at you. And 25 years after that, you wake up to find you're alone in bed.
The flowers in the vase are withering. The sun was shining a gray day, and the
midnight rain drops left postcard pictures along the wooden window, the trees
and mountains.
You forage the future, scavenging for anything you might find
remotely related to you. There were no cars in the streets, all the wooden
houses, the tall buildings animate an endless horizon. Con trails of spaceship
liftoff residue streaks the sky with fandango patterns, though very mechanical.
Oddly the sky looks bigger and wider, the sun looks far, the moon(s) looks like
falling pearls from an imaginary necklace. Or was it just a celestial
arrangement? A cosmological menace, causing dangerous tidal waves wrecking the
fragile earth. The signal ends. You fall onto the cold pavement, and snowflakes
starts to decorate your outline. Soon you die.
All that you missed in life dance in front of you,
on your final days. Layers of memory carapaces your clear vision. What do
you want to think now as everything has ended. Is this all you wanted
in life? Or was it a blast away from the norm, the trails leading you to a
different imagination. A frantic search for a link, and existence undefined but
surely you were alive and you had a history.
Each cell and each strand of DNA dissolves into its atomic
prints and then traverses back in time to progeny, where history erased you. The
bang (big) rewrote your time line, you died before you even existed.
The heaven, the dancing maidens, illusions of an Elysian field, many
heroes rest there, many returned to Valhalla. The daughter, lone daughter was your dream for a sister
that you never had, that wife was a wish for a life you wish you
lived. Red paints your likings, blue of blindness and grey skies of
a noir creativity you created ever so
beautifully and then hand painted it across star lights
and cosmological distances. Manic thoughts were erased through God's black hole where
even God desire not to thread. For science dies where men dares to go and then
comes alive when he explains it.
Sex for the days of merriment, teacher was the women who guided you the
same was your girl who became your wife. All of them are one. The
train was a trail in time trailing past futures of people who traced your
life and traces still the unknown future. They wrote the history in trains. Life
dissolves in waves of mercury washing the tiny atoms of creation, life goes on,
life doesn't
stop, the radial waves for the radial sun, the sunrise and sunset were the
extremes when you were born. Fragmented disillusion, memories fading, the trinity gap, the
religious order, the violence, the fear, that's why you
fell asleep, you
slept for the mythical 50 that means something to you rather than 42 which was
fiction and 1.68 which denotes the universe. Numbers were your fear,
religion was your tormentor, eternal rebirth ravaged your old soul. You
asked questions. Finally the answers came, and it was you. The answer to life
were you yourself. All the time, all the time.
No foundations, you walk on, walked for ages, your roots
severed, you only have your dreams. A mighty magnificent dream that was/

Wednesday, January 24

What May

Was watching Oprah yesterday (and almost everyday) and noticed that most of her audiences are white. This is not new, it's been mentioned before, but isn't it a tad bit funny for her championing the rights of the black people but finds herself sidelined by the very same people. Or maybe its just a very small percentage of them. Mistake me not, she does do excellent things, exposing the bare ugly evil of the American society and her works in Africa is noble as well. But in the end, what or who does she serve?

Or maybe it's just another Air Jordan effect. If it is, then the purpose is lost, Oprah.

Monday, January 22

The Ghost Man


Been busy saving the world (or saving the world from myself!).

Gimme a few days to recharge.

Be good, Do no Evil.

The other Black Guy

If he's white he would have gone places. His only 'crime' is being black. But for the rest of the world he's a true genius. He's the King, Henry. And this is why.

Whats that Lucas...I cant quite hear you... :p

Oh yeh, another 'not so important' news. Liverpool kicked Roman's ASS to kingdom come!

A Future For Everyone

Now, we thought it would be a clear win for her, but then he came along. Now this are the two extremes of the same thing. We want the first female president, and we also want the first black president. But, just maybe, the female president would serve a better future for the world. A just world. But also, bear in mind that this is not a 'girl power' thing. This is about the cleaning up work to be done. This is about foreign policy. This is about a future worth living for and how America can redefine it.

Thursday, January 18

Freedom and Liberty

We shout and fight today for freedom, for justice and liberty. We think our voices and movements are compromised by evil alliances. We are held back, our basic rights are denied and the future looks bleak.

Where were we yesterday when it all started, or the day before when the signs showed it's brewing, or the day before that when the people who started it were born?

We are all guilty for giving birth to this ideology, and we all shall suffer the same fate, hanged, shot, bombed, raped, killed...

But we can change fate and rewrite destiny, if it's our will to do so.

Come together.

The Evolution of Death

Among the many fears, the fear of death grips us since we become concious of the world. Was trying hard to get the thought out of my mind when I saw a horrible accident yesterday. The lifeless human body, lay insignificant on the ground which is not alive either but momentarily looked majestic and powerful. We are insignificant.

the dances of Death,
knows no heartbeat,
relates to no feelings,
consumes sanity,

Death is Beautiful

Retracing love, years gone by
Silent soft wind, embracing cold skin
Liquid night, flowing sensual, almost
Strings vibrating, melodies actually
Golden touches, piercing memories
What music, makes me remember this
if not the music of passion, elegy
notes in blood, voices of death.

Dancing lilies, under the moonlight
satin fabrics, not real, not a lie
From afar, a mysterious glow
light, the enemy of night, crawling
Traces of wild, green leaves black
Now and forever night, death grips
Waiting eternity, but not moonlight
only mortal souls, and immortal gods.

-Gp 2005- 18/3/2005-
[*] We live our life fearing death, but not knowing that death in essence is beautiful. Delivering us from the slow desolate life, the sadistic touch of each second, reminding us that were insignificant. Death is a gift to us from Time, itself sacrificing by carrying our burden.

Wrote this under immense pain. Yes, my depression's back, again, been having this more regularly these days. Sometimes it makes me think what physical pain really is, when the pain of depression is much more, slowly eating, crippling the spirit. Its as if, our soul laid bare on a flat surface and we watch and feel as it slowly crumbles and fade bit by bit and we cant do anything about it. Each inch of the soul severed slowly, with a sharp knife, dripping blood means nothing, its only colour, numb in our eyes.

Sometimes I feel my heart skipping a beat, once every couple of seconds, don't know which skip will be fatal, but hope there is a reprieve for me from the valley of death, just for a while. I have many dreams, hopes to achieve, but this pain, halting time, just never stops eating me. Im forcing my fingers to type. Forcing my brain to think, spell words, forcing my eyes to read, stay alive.

We truly are mortal in every sense of the word. We truly belong to the night. Only God can be immortal; someone needs to bury us and remember us, and hes the only one left later, after. In death the only beauty we see is the dark. During death the only company we have is the moonlight. We hear the music that carries us slowly towards the end. And on the way, slowly, our memories are erased. You can almost feel the pain when each moment is erased forever, but then when we die do we remember? Guess the creator knows better, he watched before, many more pain.

- Rest in Peace. Anbe Sivam. -

Sunday, January 14

January Travels

Snaps from my January Travels with Vj and Nagin. The photos are taken around Sungai Petani, Tanjung Dawai, The Pedu Lake and elsewhere in the state of Kedah, Malaysia. For the full collection of January Travels please head to my Flickr Page [Ghost]. (Photos are preprocessed using Paint.Net)

[-] I am hoping to publish the winners of the short story contest next week. I am still unable to get hold of the judges who are definitely not free at the moment. But I promise to publish the stories by next week. Sorry and Thank you for your patience.

Metamorphosis 3

If life is as easy as dropping things you're doing right now and morphing into something else, someone new, then I would be a changed man by tomorrow. But life is not that easy. I appreciate the comments in M2, especially what Sojourner said. In reality and in dreams, the best thing is to do it first, to get your hands dirty then face the future. Kavi was true to say that what really happens, even though we want so much and desire so much but we can only have so little (and definitely I will meet you soon for a chat!). But I think Nayan struck the right cord here. Sivanesan in real life is a coward to face reality. I tried so much, sometimes numbing myself to death, unable to wake up in the mornings to face the day. But all this is because the opportunities are scarce and the winners are who suck up the most. It's not that I dont want things to be good, I want to get the right things. Thats the most important metamorphism that anyone can want. Even when you beg for food or attention or anything, some keys must be in your likings, the rest can be chaotic. I am a coward to face real life but then again in general, like Kavi said, we all want to do something good for the world first. Did I not do it? Or should I just shut up telling everyone what I did, and just continue doing it? Pauline and Alex was right too in saying I must be very clear in my objectives, be realistic and finally just doing it. If only I had the rights to my future. You are right there Kavi, we are incapable sometimes of our own life.

Another massive factor in all this transformation is my age. Being 27 and being jobless, with no clear direction to the future is like suicide. If its not bad luck, then I dont know what it is, but I just dont stay on a job too long. Not that I've hopped too much, its just the interviewers either thing I'm over qualified or they keep digging my past results, especially mathematics where I suck, badly. Now, that's surely a first for you guys; a physicist who sucks in math. But its true. So tell me, what does age signify in all this? I dont have head hunters lining up on my doorstep offering me a job, I dont have the guts to even apply to a new job because I could not finish my masters, which I found out recently will take another semester. It's all a big gamble, and in the end among some of the losers is me. If I followed the books, I would either been an engineer or a teacher by now. But I dumped everything to do the Masters and to possibly end up with a Phd in physics. But sometimes it's evident that you are not smart enough. You are right on the buck there Nayan. I am not smart enough and I am not energetic enough to stop being a coward. I fear the word fear. Bad decisions cost me a lot and might even cost me my life.

A metamorphism happens for the better of the person. Something like transcendence, taking the soul to another level. Higher or parallel is just a matter of choice. But this road to a better person means that chance, as said in previous posts must be present. And this chance, or open road must be clear. Why do I use must? Because I think the world owes me that much. I am asking for this chance. I know what a lot of people been through, and how they handled my situation, but I came to a conclusion that being 27, the eldest in the family and jobless is bad. Its worst when you have siblings who doesnt care much and relatives who doesnt give a damn of you. It's all bad blood, literally, because when you need a helping hand, badly, they will come with loads of advice and try hard to get you hooked into something that can save your ass, but will you be able to appreciate it? There lies the conundrum of man. He wants help, but no amount of help will matter much because he wont like it because he did not make it happen himself. So in the end this cry for help is just a cushion to think that there are people out there who are willing to do something for you. But a man really needs help.

But all this certainly doesnt justify why we must be stuck in a never ending journey with no solid outcome. Solidarity of the mind, not the chaotic revelations that keep on being dumped on you day after day is what everyone needs. Chances were give, wrong ones, right ones, but where do it start and when does it end? We are incapable of finding the right roads, taking the right junctions because like the timeless saying, No Man Is An Island. But doesnt a man need to find a compatible person? A partner in crime to bring out the best in each and everyone? That I will forever yearn for.

I can tell everyone now that if there is a road to free myself from my cocoon I will do it, but at least make it less painful. I always think the grass is greener on the other side because simply I tasted everything this place has to offer and it will continue to shackle everyone into their seats and kill their dreams. This is a dry country with no innocence. No pure drive for the better of science or technology. This is a beautiful country but it wont take you to the moon. A mans roots will eventually tug so hard that it will forever snatch some of the dreams away. Thats the nature of man, not the causes he fights for.

Nature, cant be erased, but tomorrows can be changed. I will do that.

Friday, January 12

Metamorphosis 2

Mr Ghost is plain old Sivanesan in real life.

Sivanesan is expected to get a job, buy a house, buy a car, get married, make babies, etc etc etc. Silly Sivanesan for not being able to do what all the other chaps did. Silly him for forsaking so many opportunities presented in his face for a dream. Silly Sivanesan for not being able to wipe out the gloom and glut of reality and focus on his dream. Condemn Sivanesan for not being able to find a job. Blame Sivanesan for not being a good role model. Screw Sivanesan for being so stupid. Deny Sivanesan for being a lazy bum in peoples eyes. It's a crime for Sivanesan not being able to do what his friends has done. Crucify Sivanesan for wanting to be different.

But for all this, has anyone stopped to encourage Sivanesan in his dreams? Has anyone just for a second thought maybe this guy has potentials, but they have to free him from all this emotional torment so that he can do his best. Would anyone stand up to defend Sivanesan because he dared to be different? No one did. Even when Sivanesan did so much to everyone, note that Sivanesan was not the bravest of them all, but Sivanesan did all he could. Is it Sivanesan to be blamed if people around him whom he helped so much back stabbed him, were cunning bastards without spine whose breakfast are someone else's blood. Didn't Sivanesan try? Didn't Sivanesan pay back all the gratitude and good fortune bestowed upon him?

When someone said, let the kids dream, let them do what they want, let them achieve what they want, the future is theirs, no kid stopped to ask a black and white of those statements. Same with Sivanesan. Now would someone stop imposing so many misfortune and emotional blackmail on Sivanesan and let him go on with his life! Would you please stop, God. Not that I don't thank you enough for saving my ass when I was flirting with destiny on the tip of a conquistador sword on the edge of the deepest valleys (a poetic moment, I find in desolate). Not that I dont pray to you everyday, its just that I know you are everywhere that I simply don't find the courage to summon you.

But dont every man and woman need a chance?

I have to Loose weight

I must loose weight, I must loose weight, I must Loose weight, I mut Loose Wight, I mst Looze weit, I must loose bait, I must loooose wait, I Must loose weighty, Loose weight I must, Must, Weight Loose, I, I Loose weight must, Must I loose weight? Weight must I loose, Loose must I weight? Weight, to be or not to be, Weight is like a box of chocolate, Looze Z Weights...Ze Weight, the weight must be plutoed, I see weight people, I smeel weight people, Loose the Weight...
Hemmm...now I feel Hungry...

Red Liver Bird Down

Okay as Luke from Luton pointed out...it is not the Phoenix that's on the emblem of the Liverpool Football club...its the Liver Bird! The mysterious Liver Bird of the Merseyside. Now...I still think a Phoenix is a cooler mythical bird. :p

Tuesday, January 9


It's time for the stupid New Years resolution again. Every day, every year we go around making demands to ourselves without realising that the answer is out there. There, hidden in this big crazy universe is something called a chance.

You know what...what I really need now is a chance. A damn, smack in da middle of something super-cool kind of chance. No, I'm not talking about luck or 'just do anything as long as you don't beg' kind of thing. Everyone out there had their chance, that one opportunity that brought the revelation that they needed in their life. The one micro second when everything changed and made them excel. Something that they liked to do. I don't believe in rags to riches stories, no, they all had their once in a lifetime chance that turned their life around.

I want that chance, I demand that from the world.

[-] The short stories are safely in the hands of the judges, Please give them some time, I bet work and study are taxing them enough. Hopefully by next week, the winner would be known and the stories be posted. Thank you for the support and patience.

Sunday, January 7

Red Phoenix Down

I've supported LiverpoolFC for almost 15 years now and I still feel numb every time they loose. I simply cant accept it, no Scouse can ever accept it. But even in the dire moments, when everything goes wrong, when the miracle workers don't quite make the right acts...there will always be the Anthem reverberating through Anfield, Liverpool and through every single true Reds fan out there. The Phoenix shall rise again.
... When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone
- Liverpool Football Club Anthem

Saturday, January 6

BBC Entertainment

Oh thank God for BBC Entertainment. My God, I never knew we missed so much after watching this channel. Pure British genius of an entertainment channel!!! Go fly kite you Americans with your shopping channels, the read deal is here! And guess who I found in Broken News...the superbabe Indira Varma! Okay...no time to elaborate, I gotta go continue My Family, Absolutely Fabulous and Broken News...of course. BBC ROCKS! All Hail da Queen!

Friday, January 5

Dude! Wheres My Mug!

I nearly forgot about this, but last year we had the International Post A Mug Week on the last week of January.

Read all about it here: [MugWeek]

And the results...
The Mugs Strike Back!

It’s been a great tag week and a successful one too. A lot of Bloggers jumped in and posted their mugs. I thank everyone who took part in the first ever International Post A Mug Week. This tool we call blogging provides us with a stage to share and communicate to people around the world. The idea is to create something unique periodically to contribute to the gathering of the minds and to let the readers appreciate what we did. Tagging have always been present in the Blog circles, and even before if you consider chain letters as tags, but I believe we get sick of it after a few million times. Why waste so much time on insignificant lists of equally insignificant things when we can create so much interesting stuff here. The whole idea of the Mug tag is to let Bloggers appreciate something that is present in their daily lives, something ordinary and common yet something that has stories to tell.

I loved all of the mugs that the Bloggers posted, be it simple, with pictures and or if it’s posted with their loved soft toys on their work tables. We see so many varieties and stories. I was touched by the mug post of Tarun Jacob. Tarun is suffering from cancer and successfully going through chemo therapy. He posted his chemo mug, as he calls it and I was struck by how such a simple thing could be a tool so important for some of us. It makes us think of the significance of our surroundings from the people we meet to the things we use. You can read his Blog here; [Tarun].

Elsewhere mugs started appearing from around there world. The influx of ceramic wonders as many calls it happened almost in unison and some great mugs were spotted. Nayan had funny funny mug here, and Lorena was among the first with her mug along with Bailey the dog. Still had an elegant blue mug, and Saty pickep a mug from Google...NOT FAIR bro!, Miladyssa had a nice tall mug, IcyBlue with a beautiful Pieces mug, Vanathi had some mugs from the net, Vidya had 2 excellent mugs...I liked the NY mug alot, a superb Nascar mug from Kerry...I love the indy500 race, Mike with his duck-mug...you gotta love it!, Senthil with funny mug, loved Maruthams mug and hand shot :p, Jeevan with a nice glass mug, Tamilan with the classic tumbler!...I wondered who will put it, and thanx buddy for posting the great Indian drinking tumbler..., Frap gurl had a nice noir shot of a mug, Madelyn had a cool jack p toersons mug, Divya with a nice sunflower mug, and finally Ponnarasi with a nice Disney mug...thanx! I missed Scribz mug! She had a cool scary Halloween mug! Amutha, another blogger from Malaysia had a nice mug with a story.

And also I thank everyone who thought this idea was great and all the new bloggers who came to my blog and everyone that I might have missed...THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!
Till next year folks, if you see any good mugs out there, GET IT!
So be ready guys...get your mugs all warmed up and get ready to be Mugged!

The Shadow

what shadow crosses there
that seek no recognition of time
of moments and of grounds
but not the person

where we come from if not
the shadow that crosses ages
because the progenitor is one
the sun and the stars

[+] Inspired by Nayan's tributes.

Thursday, January 4

-the ghost of you- short story contest

I have received about 14 stories which was forwarded to the judges. You can still send in the stories, the results will be out hopefully next week. This erratic network prevented me from uploading the stories to its proper site. Will be doing that soon also. Thanks for all who have sent the stories.

Sir Lucas of Luton

Bro...if you're reading this...HAPPY NEW YEAR! Our attempts to reply your sms failed! Will be waiting for your return. Have a great year ahead.

Tuesday, January 2

Net Meltdown

It seems it will take a few weeks to repair the damaged undersea cables and restore the internet to it's old cool self. Hence please forgive me if I don't visit your blogs often.

Monday, January 1


This is a snapshot from ~800 feet above the Pedu Lake in Kedah. 2007 is a Visit Malaysia Year and we have a lot to offer for tourists. The lake is dotted with a few resorts, the most prominent being the Mutiara Pedu Lake Resort.

Visit Malaysia, Trully Asia.

[+] Visit Malaysia

[+] Visit Malaysia Year 2007


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny