Sunday, December 31


Happy New Year to all my friends and everyone who reads this blog. May 2007 be a wonderful and prosperous year for you and your family.

Thursday, December 28

Your Silence Mirrors Mine

Today is my 2nd last day at work. Came in rather early (which in my case is about 30 minutes past the swipe in time), saw the office half empty. Spent the first half of the morning trying to get my pay released earlier which did not happen, spent the second half doing brunch. Fumbled through the farewell speech during the farewell lunch but it was ok since there were a dozen more sad souls being 'retired' today. Spent the rest of the office hours watching Liverpool FC's May 2005 Champions League triumph videos. Sucked in much needed inspiration, since next week I don't have to wake up at 6 am anymore for a while, which roughly translates that I would turn into a jobless bum.

Right now, I'm the only guy left in the office, there's a strange silence today, even the keyboard did not rattle much the frozen time. I would say, this past year has been very good for me. If the only goals in life is to meet new people, then I exceeded it with flying colors. But the goals of life is to learn and never stop learning. Learn everything, the good and the bad included. Remember Star Wars? You have to master both the extremes of good and evil to strike the balance in life. So where is this silence coming from?

There are certainly no regrets in me taking this job. It cleared the path to many interesting possibilities, many crossroads that presented doors to new abilities and results. But the most important thing is to manage the days and the openings because quite typically, we humans cannot do so many things at the same time. What's left of a day is only the remains of time, the sparkles of memories, never new possibilities. New possibilities are born tomorrow, the day after and the future. So at the end of the day, we have fulfilled another destiny, not by luck but by perseverance.

And the people we leave behind. You must agree that the world is simply too big for us to pigeon hole at one place. So we laughed, we cried and hugged and sang songs, but then there are many more waiting. Many events and histories to write off, many days to enjoy the sunsets. But where are the new people? How do we seek them? For this I have no answer, but maybe time will mirror the future for me and you. And for now, your silence mirrors mine.
...point of origin...

If I could imagine days of never ending sunsets, where parts of the sky are painted in golden orange hues, with clouds combing through the atmosphere in long streaks like fingers through hairs of beautiful maidens. And if I could add a bonfire where the woods crackle to the raging inferno creating semi-mechanical music that for all its effort does not disturb you and me. And in between this grand setting, if I could imagine you, a beautiful soul stranded on the beach with a hope mirroring mine and a passion slightly more and a touch insanely divine. Why, if I could imagine all this, I believe you could conjure a visions much grander, for tonight and every night. Amour.
[+] Keep sending in your stories guys, there's still time till the 31st.

[-] For everyone leaving for early holidays, have a wonderful New Year!

Wednesday, December 27


Why do you aspire to be someone you're not?
Why do you want something that you can't have?
Why do you believe something you can't prove?
Why do you go the distance for something that you can't achieve?
Why do you live for someone who doesn't live for you?
Why another day when you don't even own today?

Because you're romantic, idealist, fighter, hero, crusader, (blogger?), dreamer...

Tuesday, December 26

2007, Return to the Roots

Has it been 7 years since the year 2000? Seems just like yesterday... but don't we say the same thing all the time. I wake up everyday thinking of tomorrow, am I running away from the past, again? Sometimes it feels like we never matured beyond the barbaric middle ages. What can we aspire if not peace, another safe day for everyone, food on the table an endless love. Aspirations, the will and results. Causalities in space time, or just cause and effect in our daily lives.

They say, there is no written objectives for us, what we want to today or tomorrow. Blogging is just for fun, yesterday. But today even big corps have blog pages in their corporate sites. Students, 10 year olds, babies (pseudo blogging that is), to astronauts. We spend time foraging through the lives of other netizens, the denizens of the new age, the neo-citizens of a future still not bright enough, the earth dwellers in a chaotic earth, itself undergoing multitude of changes charted or uncharted. Likewise, others dictate our lives, even some millisecond of it so that we can relate to them what we do next. Or do what they relate to us. Causality.

What among this metallic universe that we live in that banishes our physical self and let us thrive in the electrons wave functions, the very letters we type in made of trillions of particles crossing space and time to every degree of the living world (and space), what drives us?

I had a dream, that this blog could change the world, could define moments, capture defining moments and reveal the truth. Some aspiration, it is true that this world needs some workings, some tweak up because the politics have eaten the fundamental foundations of the society. I believed I was influential enough to discover the truths and spread the message to the readers. Maturity has nothing to do with this, but courage and honour. But to what cost? I see around me bloggers falling to the pressure of politics and the powers that be. I see ideologies burnt to the ground, lives decimated because they choose to speak the forbidden. Like leaves on a rainy day, no matter if its green or grey, their ideas were struck down systematically. For what is all this? We have chosen to protect our rights, but the powers of politics are too big for me and you to handle. Let the forbidden words lay forbidden, let history judge them who walk over us.
From 2007 onwards, there will be NO political posting regarding Malaysia in this blog. There will be NO more tweaking of ideas, fine tuning my capabilities, flexing of my non existence muscles trying to go on an ego trip to reveal why gun shots happened, why temples are demolished, why racial policies kill dreams or why everything runs this way and that. There will be no more questioning of other ideologies that may pass my road, that when I come to a crossroad of believes, I wont question their motives. There wont be political domino theories featured here or anywhere I blog. For all the devils that transcends this landscape, let time judge them. The weapons of time is more painful that any words written, its traces are legacies written for the future to learn. Let them all wither in the tapestry of time, the majestic beauty that kills even the mightiest. Celebrate all you want, let your cohorts bask in golden wine, for tomorrow, time will judge you.
From 2007 onwards, this blog will celebrate life, will truncate the negative waves of the devil humanity and bring out the roots of our difference. From difference we find colors, beauty and the real humanity. From the colors we trace patterns of ideas, from beauty we find respect and love and in humanity we find relations. Why waste talking about some rubbish that would never die when we can build a great utopia of peace and freedom. Lets live our lives. Lets return to our roots.

[+] Have problems hosting images in bloggers or using the IMG tag in the new blogger?Head here;[phydeaux3]

- the ghost of you - short story contest

I have so far received 8 story submissions. Over 20 blogger's confirmed their participations. The deadline is on the 30th December.

Saturday, December 23

Another Year in the Time Space Continuum

Dear Friends,

2006 have been a wonderful year for everyone. We fulfilled many aspirations, walked on through sad times, faced with impossible tasks and we still walked on because we had the determination and will. Humans, we are creatures seeking the comfort of a nights sleep, a meal to satisfy our hunger and a will to carry on another day. And more that that, we are seeking the love and touch of one another. We are special in that way and we can give more in many ways. The will to carry on is such that we can look past any challenge and look beyond any problem. Every fall is a lesson for us to learn to stand up, to fall again and to stand up again. If the universe itself has cycles of creation and destruction, the where do we humans differ. We differ in the deeds we do, the lives we touch and how we live through the days.

Today there are many pain and suffering around the world, we are living beyond our means, pressuring the earth to bleed out more that it ever could. But all this are temporary for a maturing civilizations. We are just children in the ballpark trying to hit the perfect game thats happening in the future. But for once, maybe we can learn to do it the right way, to lessen the burden. The power to change is in our hands, yet we are blinded by racial politics, by motivations of greed and lust. But for what are these motivations if tomorrow is destroyed? Where do we spend our gains if the world is a war zone?

Where is this power you may ask, because in front of us, our hand is open bare with nothing to move. The force to change is within you and more than that when we stand as a group, then the will is stronger and bigger. We must voice out what we think can change the system, can bring a better future for everyone. We are all winners if we work together, we are losers if we stop for rest on a rainy day. Thats what happening today. Why go for the short term gains, why be the opportunist when you know someone else deserving might suffer? Get in the movement so that you can be the deserving one too. Learn new things, see new places so that the will as a group, the will of the human race transcends beyond the greed of race, religion and money. We can do it, trust me, we can achieve anything if we stop to pickup a friend and listen to to grievance of the dying world.

When 2007 dawns, there will be many changes, many resolutions, new governance, countries changing, borders erased, more natural disasters, inflation, market crash, new jobs, less jobs, war, the essence of the changing facades of the human race. But haven't we gone through all this since the dawn of humans? The will of the land, lets call it that way, has forced man to fight for dirt, to fight for power. But seldom did we use the power to bring a better life to the people of Sudan, the continent of Africa forever shrouded in dark rain, the political discriminations in Asia, and throughout the world. It's good that we can see the suffering now because today we are facing the reality that is not mere myth. But until when do we want to wait for a change, until when do we want to build our luxuries and pretend that we can help once we can afford to help. The capabilities are there for us to change now, today at this right moment. Do it today.

2007 will also mark the 3rd blogging year for many of my endeavors, many experiments in the flow of time. Everything is relative here in the cyberworld, the platform is here for everyone, it's just the time spend that matters more. The efforts will bear fruit if the correct steps are taken. The Earth 2050 project has been a great success because it managed to gather and inspire many bloggers to participate. In 2007 this group will finally be molded into its true goal, thats a promise I will make and achieve in the new year. We will chart the future as outlined when the group was started. The Ghost Particle Project started as a personal project, but through the vision and will of many loved ones, it broke barriers and achieved wonderful things. We will not stop here, the future is for everyone, the Ghost Particle Project will look into inspiring and changing the current generation to look into communities and how to seed the changes itself. The - ghost of you - short story contest is just the start of many wonderful things to come. I hope the level of support and commitment given by everyone will grow to greater heights in the years to come.

Human+Universe, Earth 2050 ,The Ghost Particle Project and The CosmicCode Institute would like to wish everyone

Thursday, December 21


Another question from me, (and I do have a lot more coming before we hit the new year).
How or what do you term the most desperate times you were in? What is desperation of the human mind? Is it the time when all the colors of the world reveal themselves and tell us that there is no salvation other than your own hard work? Is it the time when everywhere you look, people just walk past you numbed down by their own problems, zombies in desperate times and you are still there begging for help and attention? What is the desperation of mind? When you can't think or when you can feed yourself to sustain a mind?
Someone told me I'm not desperate enough to know the pain of life? I did not face it all it seems that I don't know whats in store tomorrow, what it means to be alive. That someone also called me a stupid. I did not answer him, I don't know what to answer him.
I stood there in need of a helping hand and a hand came from thousands of miles away to guide me. I sat there having lost every bit of sanity and there came someone who trusted me to carry on. I lay there depressed and dejected, and there are still someone who put aside everything that happened in the past to come and talk to me. I sheltered under the tree during rain and thunder and there was someone who came to warm me up, to show me the dry path. There were times I was blinded by scriptures and smokes and someone still came to me for the better days ahead. When I was heartbroken trying to forget yesterday and push away tomorrow, someone still came there telling me who I am and why I need to go on. I lay there, as an open book, I don't hide, I know everyone have problems, but I don't deny you. I was there remember, when you came and said "Maybe you should do this, maybe this will work". I was there. Now, more than ever I asked myself, why did I come along this road, why wasn't I with the rest of them, was it my mistake? You know, of all the persons I knew, I hated and I loved, I don't have anything against you or against them. It's in the moments of desperation that you choose to close your eyes and your heart that made us stay away. We were there, but you stayed away thinking we would not understand. Don't you know that we were in desperation too? The when there is no more we, and there was I alone you stayed away. As I blindly rode through the mist and fire, someone was there to clear that path I took and I never forgot that. Was it my mistake that I don't know how to show emotions? Or was it my fault that I am only one and I could not be there all the time?
And now I want to give back, so that I know who you really are. Then came this posse who thinks I'm stupid. Of all the revelry and times and still under the guise of brotherhood someone still calls me stupid. How depressing is it when someone says you are stupid when you know it's not your decision to be this. Aren't this all important? What we are doing today, aren't all this important?

Tell me something, do we choose to do something stupid or does time makes the decision?

When is your most desperate moment? Tell me, and I will be there for you.

Wednesday, December 20

Blogging for the 2nd Year

And so it ends (and starts) this way...

Something, something...
Yesterday was this blogs 2nd Anniversary. So we are entering year 3 full of expectations and energy, waiting (still) to change the world. Cheers!

A few things I swore not to do last week, but I did it anyway! First of all I switched to blogger (not beta anymore) because heck...gooogle paid me a billion bucks and asked me to do so :p ...okay who am I kidding to, it seems all the Ancient Bloggers will be slowly 'retired' into the new Blogger. Well I don't want to wait till then, coz it might turn ugly, so I switched in today. For all the team blog members from 2050, your upgrade mails will come soon. If you wish to blog further in 2050, you have to switch. Sorry for the inconvenience, but don't we all want change! For the better I hope. (and they dumped beta on my blog's anniversary, how could I say no... :) )

Next, I made a pledge to myself to loose weight and stop reading conspiracy theory stuff on the net. Well, guess what, both did not happen! I think I've gained weight eating all this medicine and just went through a horrid 2 hours reading the political predictions of 2007. All I can say is that the USD will surely collapse if China has its way and the moon is really made of cheese. All hail the Spaghetti Meatball monster. Amen. And yes, havent touched my thesis yet...there is exactly 36 hours left till this semester ends. Life surely aint good on this site of the world.
[+] Keep the entries for the -ghost of you, short story contest- coming folks, there's 10 more days till the deadline!

Tuesday, December 19

Interstellar Postman

When you are feeling down, sick or in depression, your brain dissolves and doesn't catch fire easily. So the other day when you really wanted to go to the ball park, you did not, well that was a good decision anyway. Because you would have not felt anything there. Not even the giant 4-D screen hanging in the middle of the ball park, displaying every single reminiscent shot from the 30's to the 90's and to the year 2050. The guy who designed this electronic time's eye would have probably had so much to tell but could not because he was in a million year stasis with only his brain working connected to the quantum computer. Strange indeed because he would have computed everything from the beginning of time till today and the end of time and still he needed to work all day doing his best to come up with the perfect pre match and post match combo images so that the losers can live on their past successes and the winners frown of not beating a single record set between then and now. Maybe I should pay them a visit, at their luxury homes at Ganymeade.

My tag line is not very good for my business. I tell a sad story, a very sad word that's turning my customers away. "Aren't you dying to get a real letter?". Like it? "Your grandma, Today!" by Jakobs Silverstein was as dumb as a robot dog by Sony Stellar Corps but then you never knew how many big babies out there miss their past. I wanted to do something different but the big boss wanted something really good so that his summer home in Valley Marines would get finished just in time for his 2oth marriage. But the thing about my deliveries are that we had this sponsor logos neatly packed together with their letters and boxes, so that the kids or their kids would get all this great goodies like the Adidas Star Dust sneakers they could never afford or the latest blow up toys from Playboy together with their thank you card or report card from Planet Earth. Normally a single 20 gram letter would end up weighing a few kilos because of all this guys trying to steal the Christmas. But I dont care. If boss wanted to build a dream house on stilts so that he can bang miss dewi someone from whats left of Indonesia, I don't give a damn. All I want is to go to the edge of the solar system and make people happy receiving their packages.

So the other day I met this time's eye programmer dude whose about to get his body in the freezer for another gazillion years. He programmes something mega big for NASA so that they can look at whats in all those big galaxies far away. I mean where's the fun in watching at something from far away? You have this big ships stranded at the yard not being able to fly because the captain's been asking for a raise. Some million bucks more so that the next time some of the get fried by alien suns, their families back home can afford a summer holiday on the shores of Titan. I, well I'm underpaid like all my previous jobs. But the moment I get into that cockpit and direct the craft towards Jupiter or Pluto or god knows where in the billion strong Ooort cloud, all I could imagine is the faces of children waiting for their Traditional Mail (TM) from earth. It's not a very fun name, but well...what should we call it then? Snail mail? relic mail?

You may wonder who or why people want to write something on papers in 2050. Well, ever since all the real tree's on earth have been turned into chopsticks to feed the 10 billion strong China and all the squids in the oceans has been mined as astronauts (squidonauts) to far away planets, we didn't really have anything to write with. Someone with a great love for ancient stuff (anything 10 years or older) had this big idea of starting a post service to enable the rich kids with their own planet to send written letters to their equally rich spoiled friends at Pluto, etc. So Interstellar Post Inc. salvaged all the papers from every dump on earth, moon and mars and made big money in a million bucks a pop (of mail) service. We still spend more than half of it flying those space ships with plasma rockets with trillion buck fuels. But hey, I'm not complaining. The other day, Mr Onasis from Titan tipped me big and made me stay in his villa near the virgin beaches on that silly moon of Saturn. Silly silly moon...the biggest discovery of our lifetimes, the cradle of earth life and America sold it to this old geezer. Sometimes I wish I was a rebel scientist blasting these buggers out of the universe.

I dont know what I really like in doing this. Im 27, a few light years from my home and life. It's a new feeling everyday seeing this people on the edges of their mind and universe. They're escapists, convicts of time and love. They wanted away from all this. Made their money from the diamond rush of the 21st century, of oil and African slaves. Not to mention the earthquake years and war and nuclear blasts in India and Japan. But those are far away, seems more like dreams today. Somebodies bad dream, somebodies revenge. Delivered an old stamp book and family album to this girl on the asteroid fields of Jupiter. Never asked her what she was doing all this way from home, alone. But did spend a night there, stole her soul for a few hours, days. I don't know, time is relative to some, to everyone else time is the enemy, slowly creeping and killing us. I will be like this always I guess, jumping, sliding from planet to planet, civilizations far away, ringing door bells on homes floating in the gravity wells of Alpha Centuri. For all I care, these people need love. Love and someone to talk to. So I read out their mails, I look at their family albums, videos, whatever they get. Sometimes they just die there, on my lap or while dozing of in the evening sun, their head resting on my shoulder. I would put them on cryofreeze before flying off to my next delivery.

They say on my company motto that postman's never leave behinds traits of love or passions. They bring the biggest joys or sadness, but they never left a warm spot. I did, all these years, with all this people living of their spoils of the century. Digging their shallow ground trying to trace life back to their ancestors and they find me on their doorstep, with a baseball cap and a brown box. Fed-Ex madam, Fed-Ex sir, I brought you your life. Don't forget me forever. I'm alone like you too.

Monday, December 18


It turned out to be a weird weekend. First I read a very very amusing news. I cant believe it, there's probably a million family out there who sacrificed everything for their childrens and we have these clowns winning this accolade. Luckily it was a wacko publication to start with. On a related note, why cant the United Nations pick real people to be its ambassadors of peace, education and health? Why cant the AIDS messages on air depict real sufferers and real hero's who work day and night to make the pain lesser. Tell me, what does David Bechkam or Robbie William know about HIV/ AIDS? These buggers are serial 'bangers' if you know what I mean. Do you have a community hero whose involved in the fight against HIV/ AIDS? Please highlight them in your blog posts or at 2050.

Yesterday was another sad day. I saw this puppy trying to cross the road on my way to dinner. I thought he/ she would have turned back looking at the heavy traffic. On my was back home, I saw it dead. I'm no superman, but I don' have to be one to have compassion or a simple though of getting it of the road the first time I saw it. Life sucks.

Oh yeh...another funny story. What is this world coming to? Two useless tarts, one with children, another is just a low level microbe stealing the limelight for all the wrong reasons. And they are role models for millions of teenage girls. Somebody should do something about this.

I was awake at about 5.35 am (+8 GMT) today when I felt the 30 second tremor. This would be the third time in two years I felt earthquake tremor. Maybe I should be moving out of the apartment soon. Four people died from the quake, centered in Sumatra. This region is very unstable with tremors nearly every month.

My Job contract is ending in 2 weeks. I feel so is though.

Of course the sweet thing about this sour week is that Manchester United lost to the bottom team of the league and Liverpool is on a winning streak with 11 goals in 3 games.

Finally, I am sick. I have a very bad flue, my head weighs a tonne, and I'm high on paracetamol (bet you haven't heard of this before :p) So if I don't post for a few days, its either I got sacked from job, or I got dengue or I'm just being a whinny baby.

Keep it real guys!

[+] The deadline for the short story contest is the 30th December. More contestants have sent in their stories. You can post the stories on your blogs anytime you want. The Contest site will come online in a few days (if I overcome this lazy bout I'm having). Cheers!

Thursday, December 14

Escapism Ejaculations

Something, something...
Tell me something. This I fail to understand. I know everyone has the right to their believes. They can believe anything they want, its their world after all. But what if, their belief is so damn crappy, so immensely stupid, so unbelievably ego centric? What if they're just escaping reality? What do you do then?
(a) Do you shut up and go on with your life, or
(b) Do you stop and knock some sense into them, or
(c) Bang your head on the wall, or
(d) Join in the fun, you might meet some chicks

Fat Donuts and Blogger Beta's wet dream

Okay, we have an issue here. If there is one Dunkin Donut, McD, Burger King, Pizza...etc in every single gas station out there, how the heck am I gonna loose weight! ARghhhhhhhhhhhh...just look at those babies. Man those blueberry stuffing was good! and the Boston Choc...oh....damn!

Do you have an issue with Blogger Beta? I bloody damn hate it (for now). It's just crazy, why bring in all those innovation (tagging, etc) when you cant work on the simplest thing of all, the login id. I cant even comment properly on beta blogs. Unless you let us use the classic sign in to comment on beta site, and give us levy on using the classic software for (ever) we are going to jump to WordPress! They have all the widgets necessary and we don't have to wait for a billion hours till Blogger get out of its beta wet dreams. I don't understand why people want to change something that is already good. Why cant they just add the blogroll widget and the tag widget to the existing coding? Why must you change the whole damn structure and whore out the Google Accounts, to make it compulsory and all? Don't you think that if we have a single sign in for all the Google tools and then some security thing happens and we loose all the password, what will happen next? Tell us Google. For ages we are trying to get out of domination, but now somehow we feel suppressed. Whatever happen to the free world that Google is promising? DON'T KILL BLOGGER CLASSIC!

Okay, whose with me?

[+] [Updated] Disclaimer: I understand the work that must have gone into making the blogger beta, but if it causes problem to even 10% of the blog users, and especially to power users, then what can we do? I have no grudge against Google, they're the best thing on the net now. I'm just voicing my anger over these weeks of frustratingly trying to work things out. They don't even support group blogs. Now, are you satisfied Nayan?
[+] The deadline for the short story contest is now one the DEC 30th just to give time for everyone to send in. I have so far 6 stories with me and with the judges. And yes, if the winners cant figure out what book they want, they'll all be getting Bill Bryson's " A Short History of Nearly Everything", including the special Jury Award Winner.


UKM don shares stage with ex-mentor

KUALA LUMPUR: When he was a little boy, Prof Dr Roslan Abd Shukor had always wanted to be a mechanical engineer.

However, this ambition changed when he met physics teacher Yip Chi Kiong when he was 16 and studying at Sekolah Teknik Tuanku Jaafar in Negri Sembilan.

Yip, then 24, convinced him to make a career in physics and yesterday, the professor with Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia’s School of Applied Physics won the Science and Technology Award at the 13th Malaysia Toray Science Foundation (MTSF) prize presentation ceremony here.

The award was for his work in high-temperature superconductor research which he started in 1989 for his doctorate dissertation.

And to make the event even more memorable, Yip was also present at the event to receive the Science Education Award.

[Continue Reading]

Dr. Roslan was my lecturer back in the univ. For anyone who dreams of going forward in life, exploring the opportunities and discovering the universe, the starting moment would be to find a good teacher. Life is after all about learning. Among the many who influenced my aspirations, Dr.Roslan would be one of them. It's a pity I did not go into Superconductors, the coldpaly of physics, which was Dr.Roslan's specialization. Its such a dynamic and challenging field. But it also takes preservation and determination to master the field. On physics, I still remember during one lecture when he mentioned that in the States, only the students who fail physics would go into Engineering. I think none of my batch mates would ever forget those words. Physics is a mysterious field, many would never understand it, let alone grow to love it. It promises more opportunities than what engineering can offer. It opens more doors. Thats why I love physics, the mystery, the coldplay, the fusion of ideas, the light year of information.

Wednesday, December 13

'Squid-dititis' strikes Astronomy Guy

World famous Skepto-Astronomer, Phil (Dr) has been hit with a rare squid disease that's causing him to walk half naked in the sun and babble something about tentacles and world destruction. So please do him a favor and vote for him at;[2006-WeblogAwards]. Just click on the BAD ASTRONOMY BLOG button. You can vote once every 24 hours till this Friday. Failure to do so might cause him to release a huge amount of gas from Uranus or something like that (A Geek joke, got this from his podcast with Chris Pirillo) . VOTE FOR PHIL! and we can guarantee your astronomy experience would never be a bad one.
[Sponsored by the Bad Astronomy Blog -: Debunking Bad Space Stuff since Creation :- O-Yeh!]

Tuesday, December 12

Storm / Stairs

Sheltering from Heavy Storms,
century spanning storms
trashing the shores, seeping,
digging every crevice
of destiny


Life is like walking on stairs heading into the fog
we take each step, cautious, happy, confident
even depressed we take the next step
but life holds deep mysteries
we would never know when the step ends
when the next step just isn't a step
when it falls into the abyss
just pray that the next step is
a fall into something good
something less painful
somewhere immortal
where memories


Dumb F**k Bollywood

Something, something...
Something beyond comprehension, and yet still going on for years. The Global Indian Film Awards only features Bollywood (Hindi) Movies. What the fuck is wrong with the Indian movie industry? Why are the other languages (Tamil, Telegu, Kannada, Malayalam, Bengali...) sitting, sleeping and not questioning this? Is the Hindi movie industry the only representative of the motion pictures and arts of India? Has all the other cultures and languages in India lost it's dignity? Who gave the right for the Hindi movie posers to carry the title Indian movie festival while all the other true Indian movie industries are not represented? And the stupidest of them all, is the countries hosting these Hindi punks, are they stupid or just ignorant? Of course the locals has been more tempted with exotic p*****s more than anything else. Wish they would evolve some day. The locals that is, not the...

Stupid, plain damn stupid.

Here's the reality: Hindi Antics

Monday, December 11

Fotón 2

as the light finds path in time
time ages forward immortal
dechipering pathways
and vacuums for life
for us
for the


Starbucks Monday!

Ditched work today and am confrencing from Starbucks! Thank heavens for green tea and freelancing.

Friday, December 8


I had this idea
That if I write everything I knew
On this blank page
Maybe they would understand
But then
What will I know tomorrow?

-gp2006-end times-
[-] If only light(s) could talk. Poem inspired by the particle that fights the darkness.

[+] There's another new post below.

End Games

Exactly 3 hours an 45 minutes after sinking my butt on the office chair, I removed my ear phone and stood up only to discover there aren't a soul in the office. Signs of the future?

Logic will tell you that when the tea lady quits, then there must be something really wrong with the company. But more than logic, being in this country and working in a big-Co will certainly tell you its more of a bad management rather than market economics. The reality is here and everywhere people simply want to make money to bridge the social divide. I cant image who lives in those houses advertised for half a million bucks, but yet...maybe I can take the liberty to imagine that they are the opportunist. Those who saw things can be done the easy way, the smart way and money can be made. So they made it and they are driving the Beemer that you always dream of.

2006 taught me many things. Discipline is not one of them. I think work had actually made me an brat. I wanted the money more than anything. Heck who doesnt. And with money comes responsibility and sooner than later the responsibility translated into giving put as much as you relish making it. Signs of time? Nah...its just the pain being the eldest in the family and knowing you are getting old. The constant nagging of getting married, getting a better job, finishing the postgrad. Of course no one asks the dude whats wrong with him with a thought in mind that you cant ever give a solution for that. So teenagers do grow up, sooner or later only to be stuck in a bad gear being a youth in a fugly world bickering about oil and war.
Did I say I dreamed might be true, it is true...the unwritten rules.
So 2006 is coming to an end, and I'm stuck in the same predicament as any end of the year. Last year it was the unfinished thesis, this year it was the job contract ending, and still an unfinished thesis, next year?

Whoever said there is still white left in this world. There is only so much anyone can do to satisfy themselves and everyone else. The finer points of music is that it breaks bonds more than it unifies people. That is when you get really majestic music, the ones that appeal differently to each one. Different tunes, different people, same days. So today you take a white piece of paper and try to draw a dream. Draw anything and try hard not to relate to anything currently existing or happening in this world. I dare you. Cant you see there is no clean slate out there. No liberty of mind because we spend all these days being complacent, being nice.

There is something that parents or anyone don't understand. This world doesn't see a successful marriage anymore. I read somewhere the average married years for American's to be 7 years, but then I think the average marriage years for anyone these days are no more than 2 years. We don't understand each other anymore. Taking the big plunge will surely lead to disaster. Everyone yearns for freedom, marriage curbs that freedom because any one person in the relationship can be overtly controlling the other person. Its for safety they say, bah...its because they madly love each other and they can let go even for a second. Thats true love and that love leads to separation. Sad isn't it. So why should I make the decision to get married knowing danger is awaiting in the future.

So you want to be a Superman and solve the worlds problem. Well you have to start by cleaning up your room. Your life is in a mess, you dog ran away, your girlfriend is shouting girl power in the streets holding placards with some bitches whose definition of girl power is the right to wear miniskirt to temple. I know some of you have read about the stupid laws they have in this country. The mob is up against women. They want to fine them for wearing indecent cloths. Heck, fuck those goat herders. The last time I went to the mall I saw a total of 2 girls wearing something that can be categorized as raunchy. The rest...the rest are just being beautiful. There are something the society don't understand about progress, about going forward. They must be taught something about evolution sooner or later if we don't want to see burqa being compulsory. Hell I don't want my (future) girlfriend to ask me for directions in daylight. You see the problem lies in not being able to voice out smartly. Rights doesn't count in a political society where the noise is made by the same people who are corrupt. Why let the politician shout out false protests when you can take up the arms yourself and fight it. Go to the courts I say and let the world know. Embarass and harass those men who subject you to this gross injustice, we will be here to lend you a hand. The last I checked, a blogger told me the women don't need help from men to come up, but we will be here, just in case you need a driver. Do you get what I mean?

So whats it with this end game blabbering? Well this is not the end of life...this is the end of stupidity and ignorance. Let it be written in history that 2006 is the year we washed away our ignorance, our laziness to face the future. 2007 is a new start, we have some 22 days left. Lets take each day as it comes and erase one bad memory. Yes, we can correct society with a blog post, but hey how about a million posts? A million law suits, a million posts about the stupidity of society. Why not? Do IT!

[+] 4 contestants have sent in their entries. I will update the site by Monday and also post all their stories. Thank you for the big support!

Have a nice weekend.

Thursday, December 7


No this is not a movie's about food.

Managed to last four days without rice till I gobbled up two packets of Nasi Lemak (Fat Rice!!?) this morning. Plus two Roti Canai (Smashed Bread... :P). I'm having a food dilemma here just like Remy, the rat from Ratatoullie. I love good food, love to cook, it's just that I cant. Simple as that, I cant cook properly. There is always something more or less. Either when preparing the dish or when eating it (sigh). Coupled with a tiny problem of being micro over weight...I'm stuck in between lives we can say.

Ever since moving away from home for studies and work, food has been a sad story to say the least. You can never, ever get better food outside of the comfort of the home 'restaurant'. I eat more at home, have specialized dishes not served at any upscale cafe's and still be hungry the next hour. But outside, on the streets, in the malls, there's much to be desired from the eateries.

The student days are dominated by cheap meals, the ones that fits on your daily budget. Despite the lifelong affiliation with instant noodles and bread and jam, there are some moments when good food do come buy. A week or two after the loans comes in, we go on a culinary rampage eating exotic foods that breaks the norms of the dorm (pizza n stuff). Then after the funds has dried up, it's back to noodles and bread, while the classes are dominated with pasta n pizza daydreams.

The increased standards of life (more bucks!!!) during the working days opens up a whole new world of food. Lets name it the international food fight. From the heavenly Swedish Hot Dogs of Ikea, to the ultra spicy noodles of Thailand from Thai Express, to splendid buffet spreads of hotels to the so so menu of TGI Fridays and Chilis, the limit is your credit card. But in the end, you're always left wanting.

The irony of food is that you can never replicate what Jamie Oliver or Floyd does on the travel channel. Heck, I think even they can't replicate their made for TV dishes. The way they just throw in stuff, cunningly evade over doing the recipe and of course masking the real taste with their plastic faces. Those beautiful salads, baked fish or roasted lamb in the middle of the desert. Much to be desired.

Maybe there is more to life than good food. Maybe somewhere along the road there is a message in all this. We are after all hunters and gatherers. So maybe, just maybe I am destined to be a food ghost. Just maybe...the greatest chef in the whole universe...(that is after I become a scientist, an author, a soccer star, a singer...)

[+] Ratatoullie is a Disney/ Pixar collab. The animation will be screened next summer.

[+] 20 bloggers has signed up for the contest so far. Two entries has already been mailed in. Great going guys!

Wednesday, December 6

- the ghost of you - more updates -

There are 16 bloggers who confirmed participation for the ' The Ghost Of You' Short Story Writing Contest. Thats really great! I'm hoping for more! Please spread the news.

'A good story would have an engaging character who are either lost in time or in other words oblivious to the passing time. His/ her character would be able to look at the world aging, but remain immortal forever. In this way, the story would focus on the matter being told, on the time line of the events. This is just an example of how a short story would unravel and be a dynamic masterpiece.'

Monday, December 4

- the ghost of you - Updates -

I am really happy with all the replies and support for the project. Its great that The Ghost Particle Project once again will be contributing something to the blogging revolution. Last year it was the GPP Music Album and this year its the short story writing contest.

Here are some update for the competition. Some things and dates have to be changed due to the scope and also holiday seasons coming ahead.
[-] Deadline is now on the 20th of December 2006

[-] Winners will be announced on the first week of January 2007

[-] Prizes will be shipped on the 2nd week of January (so that I can avoid the Christmas rush. Am also considering Amazon shipping to save the crazy courier charges).

[-] All the stories are to be sent in as a WORD file or a PDF file. Please do indicate some information regarding yourself in the files; your name, blog, e-mail.

[-] You can publish the stories in your own blog (after submission) because it's YOURS! Just link it to the competition post so that more people will know.

[-] There is NO word limit anymore. Normally a short story will be about 2 to 10 pages long. Let your creative juices flow - free.

[-] The stories are to be based on the 9 snaps in the contest call post. But, no worries, I dont want a picture story, just use it to inspire you. No restrictions, just do anything you want, the snaps are simply there to add creativity to your writings. Please do tell me which snap you have chosen.

[-] Multiple entries are allowed, but the time constrains will surely tax the contestants, hence please send in your ultimate best.

[-] Please do spread the word around, I will come out with web buttons for the project soon. Meanwhile you can simply provide a link to the contest post from your blog.

[-] The judges will be the ones who have contributed to the original GPP music project as well various cool people from around the world. If you want to be in the judging process, please shoot me a mail or leave a comment here.

[-] And the most important thing of all, ENJOY WRITING! Be happy about it, think of all the people from around the world who will be submitting and be proud that you are able to dream!

[-] Last but not least, if anyone wants to sponsor stuff, product tie-ins, make money out of this (I'm getting too carried away ;P)... sorry to say, 'we' are not very keen on it. Maybe in the future when the competition gets very big, but not now. I do anyhow accept general announcement of your own contests, projects, and stuff at the Ghost Particle Project space.

Have a nice day friends!


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny