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Desperation

Another question from me, (and I do have a lot more coming before we hit the new year).
How or what do you term the most desperate times you were in? What is desperation of the human mind? Is it the time when all the colors of the world reveal themselves and tell us that there is no salvation other than your own hard work? Is it the time when everywhere you look, people just walk past you numbed down by their own problems, zombies in desperate times and you are still there begging for help and attention? What is the desperation of mind? When you can't think or when you can feed yourself to sustain a mind?
Someone told me I'm not desperate enough to know the pain of life? I did not face it all it seems that I don't know whats in store tomorrow, what it means to be alive. That someone also called me a stupid. I did not answer him, I don't know what to answer him.
I stood there in need of a helping hand and a hand came from thousands of miles away to guide me. I sat there having lost every bit of sanity and there came someone who trusted me to carry on. I lay there depressed and dejected, and there are still someone who put aside everything that happened in the past to come and talk to me. I sheltered under the tree during rain and thunder and there was someone who came to warm me up, to show me the dry path. There were times I was blinded by scriptures and smokes and someone still came to me for the better days ahead. When I was heartbroken trying to forget yesterday and push away tomorrow, someone still came there telling me who I am and why I need to go on. I lay there, as an open book, I don't hide, I know everyone have problems, but I don't deny you. I was there remember, when you came and said "Maybe you should do this, maybe this will work". I was there. Now, more than ever I asked myself, why did I come along this road, why wasn't I with the rest of them, was it my mistake? You know, of all the persons I knew, I hated and I loved, I don't have anything against you or against them. It's in the moments of desperation that you choose to close your eyes and your heart that made us stay away. We were there, but you stayed away thinking we would not understand. Don't you know that we were in desperation too? The when there is no more we, and there was I alone you stayed away. As I blindly rode through the mist and fire, someone was there to clear that path I took and I never forgot that. Was it my mistake that I don't know how to show emotions? Or was it my fault that I am only one and I could not be there all the time?
And now I want to give back, so that I know who you really are. Then came this posse who thinks I'm stupid. Of all the revelry and times and still under the guise of brotherhood someone still calls me stupid. How depressing is it when someone says you are stupid when you know it's not your decision to be this. Aren't this all important? What we are doing today, aren't all this important?

Tell me something, do we choose to do something stupid or does time makes the decision?

When is your most desperate moment? Tell me, and I will be there for you.

Comments

Cinderella. said…
MMmmmm.....I get desperate when my design presentations are appraoching and even if I have completed my work I keep on thinking what if the proffesor points out flaws that i may have missed by any chance !!
Those are horribly desperate times, right till the last minute, untill I'm done !!!!!!!
Nirek said…
I could empathize with you when you say someone came to care for you when you are in depression. A word in that time matters more than 1000 words said in good time....
I like this post! very emotional!
Sojourner said…
Desparate?
Each time something else seems more desperate in a different way.. so there is no "most desperate"..
"our hard work is the salvation"... I believe that. I would only say work. Hard or not depends.
we choose to do things because we have to. Sometimes it is called stupid. sometimes it is not. That does not matter so long as it was "necessary" or so long as we dont care.

on blogs it is hard to seperate facts/thoughts/fictions... and harder help more than an extent... but easy to show we are there...but hey... if our hard work saves us, then how does it matter what others do to us - good or bad... how does it matter? perhaps all one needs to know is that the world is bigger than what is bugging us and there are other things. we are not as bad off as we think we are.

Cheers GP! U take care. See you after a break.
Jeevan said…
When i were in happy moods, sudden disappoint makes me depress, some time uncontrolled time make me cry also!
Keshi said…
Interesting post Ghosty.

**How or what do you term the most desperate times you were in?

When I was crazy abt Love. I think I needed someone so badly that I was in a wrong r'ship knowing it was wrong. I will never do that to myself ever again.

Ghosty Im gonna miss u too till the 2nd of Jan. Well till then u TC and have a great holiday season ok?? HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZ! :)

Keshi.
"It's in the moments of desperation that you choose to close your eyes and your heart that made us stay away" So true man...We do get desperate many a times, atleast I hae..
First was when my Mom was in an accident she was in the border of life n death n the next was just before my wedding, a series of fatal events happened n the mixture made me so desperate...So helpless...Other times r there too, like when I had a accident n my life revolved n the nurse was not telling me wht happened to me n i was desparate for the true answers why I am in the hospital bed!
Hm....Nice post :)

Desperate??? Hm..when people dont understnd me.. Aniyayathukku kovamum varum..

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