Wednesday, June 28

Paper Airplane; 280606 The End of a Struggle?

This date might remain forever in history, if I were ever to make it big. 280606 is the deadline for me to send my thesis. Three and half years of struggle, sacrifice, and what is supposed to be a momentus achievement. The only problem is, I am not even half way done with it. I don't even have a clue on what to amend, how to present the results...In short, I pretty much screwed it all up.

It started in my subconscious mind about 4 years back to go to the next level. To do my masters and then PhD and then the world. It was a romantic idea, to be a great scientist, to save the world and contribute to humanity. Everyone has it once in their lives. Just like the first love, the first broken leg, the first visit to the dentist...the eagerness to try something new that ends up in pain.

Our greatest achievements starts deep inside us, the fire that clears paths, magnificent roads leading to glory. Our skills develop along the way, often collecting knowledge along the way, inspiring people, gathering friends and lifelong warriors. Science and the story of a scientist are colored by great collaborations. When giant minds work together searching for invisible songs of the universe. The feeling that swells inside us when we imagine a future so great, and then when we place ourselves in the scenery, is indescribable. The feeling when we won the first ever prize in pre-school. The big grin on our faces and most importantly not seeing the last guy as the loser. We were there to have fun and we never knew competition because we were young and innocent.

Education should always be old school. Observation is the only method capable of teaching us the world. The teacher being the guide. I was always an advocate of orthodox teaching. Not much surprise that I hated going to class in university. I skipped much of the classes as many times possible. Not a good decisions, but I found it hard to subscribe to stale textbooks when the real physics is outside there...

I think most postgraduate student will have horror stories of along the years. No doubt that truth and scientific destiny prevails in the end, but we do have fallen soldiers from time to time. Sadly, as much as we want not to be one of them, nature itself doesn't know faces. We might hit a snag, recover and some might leave. Decisions, the painful decisions to make. I struggled hard not to become enslaved by some employer who wants to count his bonus at the end of the year. Agree or not, most jobs produces results that are half baked. Never satisfying the end user. Education is no different.

A student of science must be able to fall down. Hard, loose the fight, look dumb and be trashed. Talk about baptism of fire, the science of the natural world doesn't come in a platter. The satisfaction of waiting, and making your own conclusions after careful observations is bigger than anything else. The light at the end of the tunnel. So for years I carved this comfortable niche, a bubble of self satisfaction so that it can carry me into the future without me loosing the way. This bubble contained my aspirations but was still shaky. Hence I discovered the missing part in the bubble is a person to share the journey with. Scientist don't work alone, they need a partner to discuss stuff and life.

Going alone in a fast paced world is not a solution, its a recipe for trouble. There is no more savant scientist left in this world, everything is controlled by data. How much data you can process will determine your success. That's what become of physics nowadays. We have successfully deciphered the codes of the universe. And codes means having the best damn machines to work with. Something my uni never had and never will. I believe for a team to succeed we must have the team players. These are people who run and fight for us because they see potential in us to climb higher grounds. They are our supervisors and guides. When they fail to their job, we will end up in ashes. Unable to locate the essence of our struggles that's gone in seconds. The turmoil's of postgraduate soldiers.

In the end, the education must be able support the needs of every single student. In other words, education must be able to cater the dreamers, the brave, the hardworking student and at the same time regulate information. The teacher must be able to deliver. This applies to all level of studies, be it school or university. Not all the time does bitter memories build courage, some send the victims to the ground, lost forever.

What I learned from this journey, in the short years is that there is no support for dreamers. The supervisor wont be there to coach you, there wont be money to feed you and there wont be God's to shine the miracle light. You are left alone. Until the one friend comes along to share the journey with you. I had none. Next is the goal of the journey. What you want to achieve or rather what you want the world to see. You can keep good discoveries to yourself. And finally, the future. Where do you see yourself. I planned no future, because the future is too strong and illusive to show it's face. The magic of discovery.

280606. How would I solve this problem? The journey continues...

[+] Other post's in the Paper Airplane series;[Part-1],[Part-2]
Ghost Tags:



"some send the victims to the ground, lost forever"- SO very true!
Man I dont know about where yo have reached or what label you have got but reading this has given me an insight to someone who understands what science is, what is the essence of education. I read a man with things well known and in place, irrespective of your thesis. I can sense material in you and I dont believe that you need to be labeled a scientist to be someone who yearns, learns , discovers! You are really knowledgable.

Darius said...

Sounds like a hard decision. Just don't do what my uncle did! In his case, he had his Masters in physics and had done all his course work for the Ph.D., but never finished his thesis. I don't know exactly why he didn't, but he spent the rest of his life bemoaning it because it limited him so much in his career.

It was kind of bad timing for him, I think. Back when he got his Masters, you could still teach with it. But as time went by, the Ph.D. was more and more demanded. He ended up being relegated to never teaching beyond a community college, and his aspirations had been bigger...

Princess said...


You are doing your phD ? In which stream ?
Going to become a great scholar it seems. I too have planned to become a phD holder. And I'll definetly succeed.

All the best for you to make it to the goal soon. There is so much trouble to face that's why I love science, it's interesting. Sorry if I am wrong.

All the best once again.

Jeevan said...

Working and at the same time doing PhD you are great bro. Science Discovers every thing, if we dint learn science is a waste of life I realize it now. When some one asks me about question form science, I used to blink.

Cinderella said...

this post resembles alot to what I was going through a few days back...isnt it really hard to sit infront of books and wait when are you gonna be able while your friends earn their days away....that what you call job-satisfaction doesnt even matter here.

Money is so powerful,no?
Makes us robots when we'd make artists.Looks glossy at the beginning but sure gets matt with time.

Future gets so blurry.But what the heck,better late than never.I'd rather do what I love and get paid less yet have the feeling that I an feeding my soul doing than something that'll turnme into a macine non-challant to what my soul wants,just for the sake of money.

"Scientist don't work alone, they need a partner to discuss stuff and life."
Nobody can walk alone.We all need to love and be loved in return.

Homo Escapeons said...

I think that you need to get into it with atleast one other partner to cheer each other on. It's tough enough to take on the world of academia now that it is so commercialised. Universities are businesses now. Education isn't about bettering oneself or learning about life. Now its a vortex of career, charisma and capital.

If you are smart enough to get this far you certainly can figure out how to finish. Like anything in life it is just easier to be around others in the same boat.
Make a plan and get it done.

S.Karthikeyan said...

How was Superman returns ?

Ghost Particle said...

Hi guys...okay have to clarify something...this is for my Masters actually. Havent reached PhD yet...will do soon!!!

[Scribz] Thanx for understanding me...It was a hard and long journey, but pity this world needs paper qualification more than anything else. Pity. But I will do better. Thank you again.

[Darius] Yes, its really heartbreaking and it kills ur spirit. But life is like that. We will make it someday, no matter how bad we hit the ground.

[Aizwaikcha] Im doing my masters in the field of Astrophysics. Yeh, its hard, and its good. I wish you all the best, just believe in ur work and ur ideas. Thanx!!!

[Jeevan] Thanx bro. Science is about knowing ur place in the universe. U can never go wrong if you know where you stand. Thanx!

[Cinderella] When we have partners in crime, partners who understand, life will become much easier. There is a way for everything, thank you for understanding. N believe me, I wont do it for money or any material satisfication, I will do it for the world. Thanx!!!

[H-E] Thanx bro! There is a plan to be devised and partners to seek. Im trying to get an extention if possible...

[Karthi] Not yet, maybe 2moro. But i heard its great, comic book stuff!!!

ant said...

You're taking the same path I wish to take in a couple of years (Masters, PhD - world.. buddhist monk?) I hope everything does work out for you though.

You have a very nice blog here yourself! I'll definitely be back.



Nirek said...

what you did to your thesis?


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny