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Mr.Ghost Goes to Work; Fire in the Sky

I knew all about this when I joined work, and tried my best to stay away from it. Office politics, the "I hate you I want you out stuff" continue to butt into my life. Why cant they just leave me alone. For that fact, why cant they leave anyone alone. When something goes overbudget they start head hunting. Actually the head hunting started weeks back. I managed to stay clear thus far, and when they screwed enough people, now they want my head.

It's a hard thing for me because this is my first full time job since so many years, and I'm still studying and all. I just wish I had a research grand or some trust fund somewhere that would let me do what I want, but hell things doesn't quite work that way right. After all, we spend years studying how stuff works, and in the end the ones who doesn't qualify to do the same actually ends up managing us. Its a dog eat dog world out there. Furthermore these dogs hunt in packs. I cant imagine how this average company with a yearly budget of around 10 Mil manage to screw up in everything they do.

Do you have that feeling sometimes that if left to you, you can run the show just nicely or ever better than anyone. But the again, they say than once you step into the bigger shoe, you will feel the heat. Everyone wants to be the manager, but we can never find employees who enjoy the job. Except maybe those guys at Google...which is entirely a different story.

I think the first lesson any company should give to their new employees are survival skills. It doesn't matter how much you manage to do, how good you do it, but at the end of the day, if you proclaim to be the master, then the dogs will get you. So is it best then to just shut up and wait for things to happen. Just do the simple things, stay out of the way, stay insignificant. Survive.

But then there is the fire inside you that's brighter than the fire in the sky. The fire that wants to see change and help others make that journey. Should all this left behind and be forgotten? Are employees today just drones who follow the lure of end of the month salary to feed their children? Is everything today same with the worlds of Brasil or Vendetta? Or better still, is work the right place to realize our dreams and imagination to change the world?

Will this end? I don't know. The fact is I'm starting to hate the job because I cant express myself. At the same time, I risk getting notice for the witch hunt if I stand out. So this strange dilemma I am in is really hurting me mentally. When principles and real life collide, everything else in between gets burned, by the fire in the sky. Sad, but why do we dream so high if we cannot achieve it...


Jeevan said…
just do your work, it will become normal soon.
Keshi said…
Thats u ghosty in that pic?

**The fact is I'm starting to hate the job because I cant express myself.

well wut d u think mate..I feel the same. ppl r surprised Im in the IT field!

Ghost Particle said…
[jeevan] Thanx bro..i hope things will turn out for the good.

[Keshi] yeh thats me, took a pic out of the 9th floor of a hotel I was staying for a project. The lights are from the road. The hotel actually faces a port.

Work sucks girl, damn damn damn...hope to get enough money to open mah own buzz.
Homo Escapeons said…
I loved Brazil!
I could never figure out how DeNiro fit in? The office scene was awesome and so Orwellian.
It's up there on my futuristic film faves with 12 Monkeys and 5th Element.

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for, its during the rainy seasons
when we sit admiring
the cool breeze and wandering droplets
we realize we are admiring the beauty of loneliness
from afar, of you and me