Tuesday, May 9

Mr Ghost goes to work; Meetings!@&#^%*&

Ok guys, tell me honestly, no...swear on your blogs! Do you like meetings? I personally think it's a blatant waste of time, energy and company resources. I waited a full hour for my 20 second 'discussion' with everyone. 20 seconds!!! Its like, ok guys, we have to change this, and that, and buy this, and send the report for this, and make sure everyone follows the deadline for one hour...and then...and yes Mr Ghost is incharge of the language e*diting so everyone send all language and content matters to him...and then meeting ajourned. WTF. Dammit it people, if you wanna have a meeting to change the course of things, to increase productivity, have something important to say la.

I have a few ideas on how to increase productivity;

[1] Have a 4 (FOUR) day working week. Yes, you heard me right, four days you torture your helpless employees, ask them to work 7 to 7 or 24 hours it doest matter, then give them a 3 days holiday. DO it on a rotation basis, something like technicians in fabs, they do that all the time. You will see happy people all around, and I bet the work will get done in time. Oh yes, the salary must be the same.

[2] Give all the employees windowed cubicles and/ or rooms. This will improve productivity, and general happiness/ responsiveness of employees by 45.678% that's real good in human terms. And for better results, all managers, ceo, coo, cfo, cuckoos will be given cubicles in the middle of the floor instead.

[3] The free flow of coffee must be accompanied by a freeflow of food. Have a buffet service with a themed restaurant style. Have different foods from different countries every other week and also stock up on alot of M&M 's and Haagen-Daaz. And for added incentives throw in a bar that opens on weekends. (if not for space constrains, I would have added in an office theme park).

[4] Last but not least, legalize IM's, Chat clients, downloading, P2P, Filesharing, porn...etc. Ok maybe not porn, but legalize all that and almost miraculously you will have full job attendance, less sick leaves and all. Put in a plasma TV on every corner for enhanced effects.

Have a nice day friends, I have to get back to work now, hunting season just began.


Maran said...

Meeting don't have food ah? Free food! :))

Jeevan said...

i used to attend the parents-teachers meeting in school:))

Nahuatl said...

U forgot my meetings??? Didnt u read it?? :)

Nirek said...

thats lovely ideas bro.
will love to sit in windowed cubicle... its really refreshing.

meetings are abs waste of efforts. it is main daily work of ur boss. Isnt it?


it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny