Saturday, December 31

A birthday, a shooting star, a revolution and a new year.

A Birthday

It’s the last day of 2005 and yet again I stop to recollect how the years passed so swiftly, it seems like just yesterday we ushered in the new millennium. Firstly I would like to take this opportunity to wish Visithra a very happy birthday (belated, since it was yesterday). Among the millions of bloggers out there, very few are able to tell the stories of their life more freely and sincerely and Visi is definitely one of them. Ever there to highlight the small things in life that often makes us smile, laugh or maybe cry, her blog is one of the best out there. The variety of her posts and also the fondness of her to tell the stories of everything are simply mesmerizing. And she almost never forgets a friend’s birthday. So head there and wish her if you haven’t.

A Shooting Star

I’m not a big fan of warm nights, but sometimes a cloudless sky opens up the universe to you. Millions of stars, the Milky Way (and the galaxies you can’t see). I live at the equator, so I consider myself lucky to be able to see the brightest stars. So it makes me yearn more to achieve my dreams. Funny thing happened early morning today. It is the eve of the new year by the way, and Bob came back to the hometown for his weekend break. We gathered at his house last night and talked away, not as excited as maybe a decade earlier at some campfire or maybe five years back, after the big exam at some coffee shop, fiddling away with the beautiful girl stories, but of something more important about the future. Nowadays as hard as we try, we can’t escape dissecting the politics of life and the social hurdles that line up against us, Indians in this country. But seeping in between that important story (which I will tell after this), are the stars, that kept on distracting me. Diverting from the topic of discussion, I mentioned to the guys how I never saw a shooting star in my life. Bob reminded me that I mention it every time we meet. I felt I’m the unlucky one as almost all my buddies have seen it once in their lives. And of course I tell to myself they’re just lying to appease myself. So we yakked on for a few hours about everything under the sun, and then realizing the conversations going no where, the solution seems to be non existing, I looked up to the sky as said to myself, what would happen to all of us, when a miracle happened. I saw a blue streak of light and the most beautiful star at the end of it. I finally saw a shooting star, the amazing beauty of the moment and the relief it brought to my heart. A feeling that the Gods spoke to me; maybe they understood me, signaling a new beginning or at least a better life for everyone next year. Bob saw it too. I wonder how many of the readers have ever seen a shooting star…it’s a stunning experience.

A Revolution

You would have guessed from my previous post how angry I became because of the issue that happened a few days back. I guess it’s the feeling of helplessness in this country to do anything to save my people. I personally don’t care of my religion, but the breakdown of the most basic respect of human rights really makes me sad. It’s when no one respects the needs and feelings of a human being, in this case the wife and children of the person, that the real ugliness of humans reveals themselves. What are worst are the motives and actions of the religious zealots to systematically walk over all Indians and Hindus in the country into believing that we’re worth nothing. I could go on telling how we build this nation with out bare hands and how we’re still doing it, but then that one failure of human rights and compassion makes our sacrifices mean nothing. We’re basically third class citizens in our own country with no voice, not justice and no representation. I can’t believe how anyone can close their brains and ignore as nothing happened. Why even in the darkest moment of our recent history, we can’t stand together and fight this invisible oppression.
[+] JeffOoi's excellent article piece of the Issue;[Fanatics1] and [Fanatics2]. I thank all the readers for their comments when I raised the issue in my previous post.
Then I realized, after chatting with my buddies, that this one incident means nothing to anyone. It’s simply brushed of as a personal tragedy. Thousands of people die everyday. People get bombed everyday in Iraq, die of horrible accidents, hunger, famine and civil war. The world listens, but does nothing. It’s simply a death. A passing with no monetary value, love being marked with a price tag long ago, no solution. I can’t stand and fight alone, nor can a band of a dozen stand the draconian authorities. Dead people can’t fight for freedom when even the alive shuts the eye.
So I said to the world, and it answered back with a shooting star. Is that a yes or no? Back home, switching on the telly, I flipped the channels, with weird mixed feelings. And fittingly, the answer came on the National Geographic’s channel airing a special on Fidel Castro. I can’t forget the incident, yet I don’t know how to act on, but the world keeps on giving hints. Politics is a deep hole with no way to climb out. A dangerous one to the life or a minority. And almost anyone know by logic that dwelling in it will make us one of them lame politicians, the issues to fight long forgotten along the way. Fidel famously said ‘Condemn me, I don’t care, history would absolve me’. What implication does this have for the youth of today? There are many paths to fight for freedom, but the real question is for which freedom we fight for. The freedom of humanity or the freedom of our color, each intertwined into the complex relationship that we have with everyone. Step to the front and shout a revolution, and they will kill everyone, our families, friends and finally us, literally. Sit back, shut our senses, and still the killing happens. So there is no solution. There won’t be a Gandhi born again, because this fight will not bring justice if we starve. Simply, the solution doesn’t lie in separation, the very weapon the zealots are using to separate the people in this nation. Another Mandela can’t preach to the masses why my peoples color matters, the basic reality being, we’re minorities of an evil race that their Gods specifically denies existence. If I decide to carry the flag and fight for the rights, the least that my friends will do is remember me. If I fall down, somebody will help me, if I vanish, somebody will love me. The revolution continues.

Crawl into the dark and close your eyes,
Shut your ears and mute the voice,
Ignore the shouts and cries,
Blind to the tears and blood,
Serene silent emptiness,
And from one corner of the universe,
A resonance from inside,
Of your beating heart,
Then you realize, you are human,
Your face and voice will die,
But your deeds will remain for eternity.

And A New Year

And another year dawns, complete with sugar and spice and expensive fireworks. Everyone’s seem to be rushing somewhere, seeking something, praying and chanting for something, something that I can’t figure. What do we really want, peace or freedom? For me I think the real freedom comes when our time on this world ends. Why waste time numbering your life for the New Year, when you can build everyday with something new. With a new life, a new love or even a new friendship. This New Year, not many will be sad, we walked on remember, threading a violent end to 2004, knowing and understanding that we can’t last a second on this earth without a helping hand. We rode through 2005 in our various vehicles, powered by expensive fuel realizing again and again that that one stupid guy who himself being lost in the ‘bush’ continued to screw the world, so that that one country can get more fuel to power that vehicle to carry on…it’s a cycle, I told you so.

So the heck with resolutions, you know that the next puff of cigarette have all the potential to kill you same as the speeding car with a drunk driver. You damn well know that the next can of soda will give you diabetes and kill you same as the next mosquito bite will give you Malaria. Stop living in a soap opera and giving yourself days between your plan and execution because real life doesn’t have a 5 minute theme song. It starts all warm and cuddly but it ends with a full stop. Just like that. Believe in change, not resolutions. Have faith and close your eyes, walk forward as fast as you can, say NO loudly to all your bad deeds and change immediately! Then walk on, equally as fast so you have no time to look back and sympathize.

As for the coming year, I sense with my psychic abilities, of a year full of changes and reflections. A year for love and marriage with some breakups. A new car and a new house with a big yard. A new job in a faraway country. A zillion new Tamil serials, some great movies and Superman. England winning the World Cup, Liverpool winning the Champions League and Premiership. Another Deepavali BBQ and maybe another bottle of Martell. Lots and lots of money and books. A better research team, a start for the Phd. A published book or a new album. History shall remember or as senor Fidel says ‘History would absolve me’.

Till next year folks, don’t forget to update your blogs!

Have a Happy New Year and may it be a new beggining of all things happy and wonderful!
[+] Reach out to this blog and help out. Spread the word.

Monday, December 26

Always remembered

You wish to remember,
You wish to touch,
Suddenly a thousand lights went blind,
and everything is lost,
But the Human spirit always survives...

26th December 2004 Tsunami Victims. Always Remembered.

Thursday, December 22

Merry Christmas!

Here I dedicate this song in the spirit of Christmas...
Chesnuts Roasting On An Open Fire
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos

Everybody knows a turkey and some
Mistletoe help to make the season bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas to you

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To kids from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you
[-] I wish everyone a very merry Christmas and a great great New Year. Always remember the less fortunate and bring happiness and joy to the world. Now I'm going off to start a petition so that someone would write a cool Deepavali song...there's like a million cool Xmas songs...
[-] I'm sorry if I cant come personally to wish everyone in their blogs, but Santa Clause haven't brought me a proper Internet connection yet.
[-] Here's some assorted Xmas quotes;
"If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us!' - Bart Simpson
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me." - Jerry Seinfeld
"As we all know, Christmas is that mystical time of year when the ghost of Jesus rises from the grave to feast on the flesh of the living! So we all sing Christmas Carols to lull him back to sleep." - Peter Griffin (Family Guy)

King Kong, Donkey Kong, Hong Kong, Kang Kong and Leng Kong...

Okay, I guess everyone would have watched the biggest movie of this Christmas. Did you like King Kong? Im not trying to do a review abit late for that...but here's my opinion.

What's Peter Jackson trying to tell us? Or for that matter show us? The ape in love with the woman? Wat the heck is wrong with this movie? Its suppose to be a super fantasy thriller flick, not a love story. Damn, the woman dances in front of Kong and made him laugh? The spirit of the Kong is lost in this movie, lost by PJ forever... It might have been his dream to direct a Kong flick, but nope, IMHO, it failed. Its another popcorn flick, just eye candy and stuff. Nothing much to inspire you. Its just another remake. If you don't follow what I'm saying, most probably you haven't watched it, but damn, King Kong went ice scating with the heroin...what else to come, dragons and Aragorn? This movie would have proved once and for all that PJ is an excellent director, ofcourse coming after the huge success of LOTR but he's a bad bad story teller...Let see what he comes up with next. Maybe he should focus more in his own storyline/ stories rather than doing adaptations.

You have to wait till the end of the movie the remotely identify with the classic Kong if you're a fan. I think probably the most exciting and sentimental scene in the movie would be Kong on top of the Empire State building fighting of the bi-planes. It stays true to the original flick. Rest is passable. Its a mixture of Jurrasic Park, and some bug movies plus tarzan and...I could go on with this forever...

[+] But to be fair here's some non-biased review of the movie;
My blog buddy; [LazyKong]

[+ King Kong's name is certainly unique. So the post title would suggest the varieties of Kong that I could think of. Donkey Kong is the classic arcade game of an Ape. Hong Kong is obviously Hong Kong (hahaha). Kang Kong is a leafy vegetable famous in this part of the world. And Leng Kong is a jelly type stuff found in drinks in Malaysia.

[-] I have loads of post before this. Please read them too...


A House for Mr. Ghost: Part 4; Glory Seasons

The most important stage in a scientist’s life is when our research gets published. This one ultimate factor enables the scientist to justify his efforts and also at the same time ensure that his research is known to the world. There were days when certain experiments were not known to the world for decades. Even today, we might never know certain science carried out in the Soviet era or communist China. But in this age, they realize that international eminence enables the fruits of the research to be shared by the global community. In similar ways, the smaller communities where the scientist belongs will also receive recognition mainly the graduate student and other researcher in the group.

Tracing back the life of a scientist or the timeline of his research, we would encounter various stages where breakthroughs happen that carried the research forward. The glory seasons in a researchers life happens even during the early days of his works. When as a graduate he presents his first seminar paper and receives criticisms that would enable him to move in the right directions, then that is an achievement too. Science is not a stand alone faculty; it involves interactions that would also direct the course of the works to the days when the final results are achieved. The early stages also involve extensive amount of explorations in both the immediate field of research and its supporting fields. One main issue any graduate student and budding scientists should realize is that early setbacks and also success is vital so that we don’t deviate from the initial motivation to look for the correct answers.

To ‘reach’ the glory seasons, the scientist must factor all the elements that would ensure that the final results are achieved. Having the best supervisor and team members are as important as using accurate methods and tools for an experiment. A supervisor must discard his egos and work hand in hand with his research students and the students themselves must gel into a robust open minded team. When we dwell deeper into the objectives of the experiment, every single member in a good research collaboration would settle into their roles that would ensure the ultimate results to be achieved while also complimenting their own majoring. And the most important factor in having a research team to enable us to discuss and critically dissect ideas and results. A scientist must talk and communicate freely and openly his methods and results so that it would stand more comprehensive scrutinizing in the global scene. Faculty seminars would in time evolve into regional conferences and finally international gatherings. Presenting the more credible results and also the ability to withstand peer criticism are part of the journey towards the glory seasons.

So far, the tracks towards successful research are very mechanical and if a scientist follows the paths that suits him or her best, then they would not go wrong. Methods would be the same, but some tweaking in certain areas of thinking would present the desired results in the field of research. Different methods, meanwhile, but using the same thinking patterns would usher new discoveries in different research faculties. What seems to be a complex world is pretty much laid out for the new scientists to utilize and breakthrough into the international scientific scene. The initial glory seasons are also important for the new scientist to gather experience and familiarize with basic research methods and typical ways of focusing into objectives.

Tuesday, December 20

One in a Million!

What’s a million miles,
When we waited a million years,
To be friends and brothers,
In the glory seasons...

Human+Universe is One Year Old! Yep the big ONE-OH. Hoping for many more to come. My sincere thanks to everyone who made this journey worthwhile and amazing. I never imagined to meet so many people who would change my life and inspire me to do things differently. Thank you also to everyone who supported the 2050 Project. May God Bless everyone.

Monday, December 19

The Girl

It lasted for a week. I’ve had this liking’s all the time. But I thought this one was it. The ultimate love and everything that comes with it. So for the first time I tried a bit harder to find out if everything will go well. Its not that her family are strict and all, its still possible for me to pour my feelings to her and not get whacked. There’s only this tiny problem. There’s another guy in the picture! How it broke my heart. But then why the interaction in first place, why be nice to me and why all the sms’s and emails? And till now I’m still left wondering whether she really liked me or is this all a very late April fool’s game. It’s not fair for men, since we’re good, most of the times, and people still label us wrongly. So will there be a next time? I think I’ll wait a while to see if this relationship goes any further. Damn for once, I really loved a girl and she’s not part of my poems or stories!

And looking back at the comments for the Birthday post, my sincere thanks to all the readers who replied with very kind words. Is a nice feeling, love is. Its makes you be more forgiving. Its makes you a nicer person. Funny that when you’re alone feeling it, there are changes and you’re part of it, but when you really seek out the details and go deeper, you discover lies and deception. Maybe I like to be the crash test dummy for all relationships out the or maybe I’m like my senior used to be, simply a councilor for lonely people. Love is more that talking and sharing, for me love is a total change, in our lives and others with us. It is also the time where you would sit down and rethink of all your relationships; be it with your family or your friends. There are some amendments to be made and sometimes without realizing it, your surroundings would change too. Time will tell.

Fort Finnegan, Gas Chambers

In the fields of death,
They build thousands of gas chambers,
Factoring to kill all who remembers,
Including them who had faith

Under the scorching sun,
As far as the eyes can witness,
Naked lines crawling in madness,
Enough for the soul to fear and run

Into the grey green metal cylinders,
We marched previously dead inside,
On the walls bloody scribbles coincide,
Our Gods vanish to smoldering cinders

In rows upon rows packed tight,
Like terracotta soldiers guarding,
But we were here merely standing,
Soon to be reduced, into the night

Ever imagined the human mind,
What it sees before shutting down,
It sees the beautiful Elysium dawn,
But in here, it slowly went blind

The invincible clock ticked three,
Cascades of yellow bulbs died,
Countless weak souls cried,
Our spirits agonizingly floated free


[-] My second war poem using the Fort Finnegan theme.

Fort Finnegan

No ones heard of it,
This fort of yours,
The names all chaos,
And finally it was hit

The people just waited,
Finnegan said it won’t happen,
They had not such weapon,
Suddenly it was all fated

Purplasia had a reason,
We were cruel to the people,
Hoping to rise to the mantle,
They want us free from treason

Suddenly it was a hundred years,
Since the last voices heard,
They all had since feared,
Whom were all left in tears

That morning all was still,
The birds flew, the skies blue,
That old shaman he had no clue,
They will come, soldiers who kill

The Fort nation were ignorant,
Their militia went on murdering,
They who vanished were watching,
Humanity disregards the innocent

It went on for centuries,
This story became legendary,
Some would think it’s imaginary,
Not when the dead walked sentries

Will one day the story remain,
Even after the last creature dies,
When the sounds are echoes of cries,
Where it will end, in which domain?


[-] Fort Finnegan is my own version of war poetry. There are some great war poetry on the net by the likes of Wilfred Owen and more.

Evening Cafe

As the evening majestically sets,
Giant engraved doors crawls open,
In four corners stood marble angels,
Guarding the valiant redwood bonsai,
The waiters waited in royal white,
Waitresses wearing magnificent smiles,
Square wooden tables in formation,
Painted glass lamps on tables each,
Fuchsia napkins folded into flowers,
Crystal glasses beautifully invisible,
Silver knives gleaming fluorescent,
The most lavish China parades out,
Maidens unearthing the finest wines,
Some already dreaming in ice vessels,
Soft jazz serenading the vast scapes,
A solitary singer lining out numbers,
Cherished patrons stroll leisurely,
Chatters of joy entwined with music,
Captivating songs sung to perfection,
Sumptuous banquets served in unison,
Mouthfuls of magic the chef declares,
Another stage set for the apple pie,
Widely spoken the best in the city,
On the grandly carved oak wood bar,
Tall chairs seated beautiful ladies,
Not far beside stood handsome men,
Wishing the night never to end,
The jazzed crowd dancing merrily,
It turned into the most glorious night,
A story of the legendary Evening Café


[-] Am experimenting with some descriptive poetry. I could have made a longer one, there's so much you can tell of a cafe but then maybe I would go into different themes and settings around the same idea.
[-] Been back home so not much I can do in terms of posting, I have no internet access back here except at the cybercafes.

Tuesday, December 13

Of Birthdays

Last weekend I went to my cousin 21st Birthday bash. I hate making public appearances. Not that I don't like anniversaries, just that I hated the people there. It took them about a dozen phonecalls to get me to come. I think it's my traumatic past of not celebrating anything (except maybe Deepavali) that made me hate all this gatherings. I hate weddings too. So, naturally I went there late so that it would be easier to blend in. Ofcourse, it doesn't work that way, and the instant I went in the house they all harassed me. Throwing all the blame on my uncle for picking me up late I went on the wish the Birthday boy. I could tell he was very happy I came, I've not been to my aunts in a year.

The very few things I like about Birthdays are the food and the ...the girls. Yes, all the girls you can imagine but cant speak to. No I'm not the bravest guy in the family nor the most presentable. Back to the food, you see, in any Indian themed function, the food will always be the same, rice and chicken. And for a student who can only dream of getting a decent home cooked meal a few times a year, this is an opportunity not to miss. Even then I was wandering around to get someone to eat with me. I always get this feeling that people are staring at me eating, or for that matter, doing anything. All those waiting, and walking and hiding (will come to this later) and waiting more will make you hungry and delirious. Just before the headache slips in, my grandma and my mother rescued me and we, the whole family for the North-side sat down to eat. Oh did I tell you, grandma and mother made this 400 mile trip just for a PR show. Welcome to my world. I guess many other families face this too. If you choose to ignore an invitation, then the other family will gather their own gang and boycott your families functions and so goes the circle.

There are a few types of people who you'll meet at this type of gatherings. There's this warm and kind folks, always smiling, who watched you grow up throughout the years who wants to hugs and kiss you. And then they proceed to acclaim, loudly sometimes, of how you have grown up so fast. Then sympathetically they give you hug after discovering that you're still jobless and so on. This type of people I actually like to meet, and hope to mingle 'till the day ends. And then, if you're unlucky (since you hate to talk a lot) you get this far away relatives who seems to be distant cousins of Letterman whom cant stop laughing and making jokes for every sentence you utter. And yes, the rule of the universe, at this moment, half of civilization would be looking your way. Things get worst when they start to ask of your family and then you fathers name, then they proceed to say loudly to everyone this is the son of so and so. He's a great man, hope you live up to the expectations and your fathers good name. No, you don't want to meet this type of people. Just when you think Harry Potter's fraternity was only a fantasy, you meet the 'Shadow People'. These are the relatives and non-relatives who are wizards, astrologers and mindreaders. When you get to a party, you MUST NOT meet this people first. Try to avoid them if you can detect them, because they would most certainly ruin your day. They know exactly what you're thinking. The moment they greet you, they'll say something like' I can sense trouble looking at your face. Are you in any problems?'. If you get the more sporting ones, he'll proceed to talk about the girlfiend you never have. It gets worst when they drag you to your mother and say its time for you to get married... I did not ask for all this. But being human, you're put to death all the time. Sometimes, they just wait to prey on you. Maybe God sent them to test us. The last type of people you really want to avoid unless youre flying of to the moon the nexy day would be the gossipers. It's amazing what these people know and sometimes how dumb they are. It gets more interesting when they gossip of you're family not knowing who you actually are.

One of the worst times of any party is when they start to dance. Good God, by this time either you leave or if you came with someone, just fake a heartattack. I'm the kind of guy who if ever, like to dance in front of the TV, maybe to MTV, all by myself alone. Its a good cardio workout. And people don't film it and look at it and laugh for another hundred years. These are trying times. Cant run anywhere, cant hide. So finding the remotest, darkest spot, just stand there and wish someone breaks a leg or the electricity dies. Suddenly, your uncle whose probably a Michael Jackson fan drags you, shouting and screaming to the dance floor and there you are, (the DJ announcing MrGhost the greatest dancer of all time) on the dance floor grooving to the latest tamil song. By now, I'm all hollow inside, my legs all weak and I try my best to do something. Only my hand moves, my legs are stuck. I aint no Will Smith but I did some preety good boring moves. Luckily, or maybe they all realized I'm a stone, everyone joined in.

That's my weekend, one weekend that I don't want ever to repeat. Thinking back it was fun, but I'm the guy who likes fun in small groups. Another things is that I cant get my mind of this girl. Damn, have you ever met a girl who you want to marry and live the rest of your natural life together. I met one, she even smiled at me. I don't know how this works, but mathematically all of it can still come true. She's my cousins cousins, that should not intefere anyway religiously right? (please say yes!). Maybe I'm dreaming too much, maybe its fate. I never wanted to go remember, but now, I met the one girl I really love! Yes I'm in loveeeeeee... Somehow, all those bad memories of the party washed away because of this one girl. Its a sad thing when maniacs have blogs. They force you to read something boring just because they're under pressure to post something. But girl, if you read this, please know that, I love you and I want you badly!

[-] Happy 21st Birthday Kugan! Have many many more wonderful years ahead.


[+] Honda has came out with the latest ASIMO droids. Check them out here; [ASIMO]

Final Days

Forgive me world,
These days we kill each other,
Children die in slums dear father,
Women get no respect, they falter,
Men on street hate our color,
You and me, we ignore each other
Where do we go where do we gather

Forgive me world,
Yesterday I saw a man die,
He didn’t even put up a fight,
A fallen angel on the lonely street,
I sat with him 'till the night,
I am victim too but I didn’t cry,
This disease, it's days has no light,

Forgive me world,
These days we know no love,
We hide our feelings just to survive,
We paint pictures dark and lone,
We cry silently tearing apart inside,
They never stop to listen, these people,
Our lives have no direction, no purpose.

Forgive me world,
Tonight I kneel to you and pray,
Not to the God that I don'’t believe,
Someday we will all succumb and fall,
Our troubles and sorrow are many,
You are our savior in these final days,
When we lost our touch in the senseless night.


* I wanted to write a song, so the first para was ok, it rhymed...then I lost the idea. Will post this first and try to ammend it later.

Thursday, December 8

December Season

You see a lot of photo's daily, but there can be only a few greats. I discovered Jim Brandenburg's story while going through back issues of the Graphis Journal. He's a legendary photographer who worked with the National Geographics Society and his collections and projects are simply stunning. His two amazing collections; 'Chased By the Light' and 'Looking for Summer- Chased by the Light II' which showcases natural imagery of the passing season. The first 'Chased by the Light Project' was published in the Dec 1997 National Geographics magazine carrying the most photo's ever in a feature. The project details Jim's effort in snapping only one frame per day for 90 days and relied heavily on his expertise to highlight the best images. Jim also founded the Brandenburg Prairie Foundation to promote the conservation of the Southwest Minnesota Prairies. Do visit his site, just click the image on top. (Image sourced from Jim's site and copyrighted by Jim Brandenburg)


[-] It's time for another sojourn away from the blog-verse for a week or so. Please do go through my previous posts and comment on them. More poems are available in my older posts.
[+] The 2050 Blog is going strong. Mail me if you want to be a member, or simply visit the site and read the posts. Hope the existing members can post something more often.
[+] My photoblog is available here;[TransitTamils]. All the images are snapped using my cellphone. Do also find the links to my other galleries in webshots and flickr.
[+] The holidays are approaching and ofcourse there's the Xmas and New Year celebrations. If you're figuring an idea for your blog posts why don't you do a photo-essay or photo-journal of your holidays. It would be exciting to view a new world and meet new people in the form of images. Visit a new place on a short trip, drive to the park you always want to go or just stake out for some bird watching! Live the digital imagery revolution!
[+] English Song of the week; Song: Because it's Love, Group: The Kelly Family
Tamil Song of the week; Song: Malligai Malai Katti, Movie: Pudhiya Ragam, Composer Illayaraja
[+] The book 'Passions of the Tongue; Language Devotion in Tamil India, 1891–1970' by Sumathi Ramaswamy (University of Calif. Press) is available online for free here;[Tamil]

Wednesday, December 7

December, Your Name.

Normally I don't write the explanation for my poems, simply for the reason, that poems should be enjoyed and interpreted by the readers themselves in their own mould and words. Its just words for that matter, and occasionally, and only in some moments does those words bring true meanings. And in some magical moments, those meanings reflect the true expression that I was trying to convey. Due to extreme laziness, a serious attention deficit disorder, and also the rush to reach the gates of heaven fast (ok, the rush to publish this...somehows hitting the 'Publish' button excites me), I don't really edit the poems. I do general spell check, and sometimes a few words just escape. The second stage of any poem writing, is to rearrange, or reformat the whole thing. Some say this is the creative part. But I reason, why do we need to give final touches for something so sporadic. Random thoughts should be conveyed as it is. So you get poems by GP that you seldom understand. By the way, I've reached my 50 poem mark a few poems ago, and somehow I still feel, I haven't wrote my magnum opus. Again, it's the writers freedom to decide if his poems should be free flowing formless masterpieces, or the severely constricted, pentameter restricted, retro rubbish.

Ok, back to the December poem, a few posts ago, I was reading some other bloggers posts (it does rhymes sometimes), and found them to be madly in love with December. So what is so magical about December. I've spend 26 Decembers in this world and this is my 27th. The most recent December 'event' that I remember of is last years Tsunami. So, does December marks the end of all things bad and then comes January with all things good. Unless you have a bad hangover of all the parties ( and if you're me, of all those staying home watching TV) then the statement is true. December is the end. Calvin and Hobbes ended in December 1995. What am I blaberring you might ask. I don't know either. I just wanted to write a poem of December. Let's just say, this post before the poem is a Mad mans ramblings to the world because he's hungry, it's raining out there, the uni's on holiday so no restaurants are open, and he got nearly locked in the library moments ago. Enough of all this, I cant write good stuff, the stuff like those travel writers (who some I think never even go to the places they write of), or the stuff in those most frequented blogs, those warm flashbacks, when they had their puppy dogs and ice cream fairs. Of those first kisses and tree climbing. I might write all this one day, but not today.

So here goes, the poem is of December, the month. 3 things that remind me of December is, the December Monsoon which is real, the girl named December, whom is fictional, and also my December Fireflies poem published last December and made into a superhit song by Daymoon. And so, I dedicate this poem to all men and women who preach of this sinister December romantisizing cult's teachings. As if I don't have enough enemies. Amour!

****** a poetic origin ******

December, Your Name

Wanting and never letting go,
Sometimes warming the world around,
Waiting and never to forget,
Of this cascading December thoughts.

Just as bright, the tiny sparks,
Scattered around terrestrial, amazingly,
Just that ones that flashes,
Floating parallel to your eyes.

December monsoon liberated from the sky,
Floating in quantum moments, in symmetry,
The first few invasions, painfully cold,
Then the wet soul, feels the warmth.

Monsoon showers the green, to grey,
Tender hearts, sourcing silent warmth,
Sometimes the feeling announces,
The welcoming of the stranger soul.

Arranging a wooden window, open,
Inside in distance, our time,
Outside a land, boundaries perfected,
The rain, the blue droplets, stole December.

Giant trees stand proud, ageless,
Against the monsoon, and the high clouds,
Wanderers noticing the lower leaves and branches,
Held warm and dry, by invisible umbrellas.

When I held you, in touch and love,
Along the bastions of moments, ours,
When you questioned, our loneliness,
Answered the rain, such songs are rare.

Should the thought be enough, with you,
Such of us together with her,
December, resting her head on my shoulders,
Called us talking until the endless end.

The Northern winds, crossing in fear,
Occasionally blowing a few crystal droplets,
Those invading droplets, cooling the classic day,
This monsoon December, remembered.

So I described of you, the month December,
When I enjoy the December Monsoon,
And wrote of the girl named December,
When the circle ends, there flourishes life.


Monday, December 5

Should everything have a reason...

If words alone can sustain humanity, then were better off blind.
If eyes are the tools of evil, then the universe is better off empty.
If borders ensure sovereignty, then why are we wearing cloths?
If conformity means existence, why work the extra minute?
If you're alive, what need is for the God?
If forms form in freedom, why are they numbered?
If the Ghost is to be feared, then why let it exist?
If silence is beautiful, what forces them to rape?
If music is the essence of creativity, do we need only ears?
If freedom is our destiny, we are born mistaken.
If the Internet is the last vestiges of freedom, then here shall we thrive.

[+] I forgot to leave an explanation; I'm starting a design-blog, just follow the link (click the post title). Free yourself from political slavery, and live your creative freedom on the Internet. Anyone familiar with Photoshop Tennis please email [orionfaktory[@]] for a game or just leave a comment.

Friday, December 2

I need ( to find ) a job.

A few days back I had this glorious chance of waking up early in the morning to enjoy the lovely sunrise. It was 6.30 am and I had no problem waking up since it was such a happy moment in my life and as I opened the sliding door to my balcony the landscape was covered with thin mesmerizing fog as far as the eyes can see. This is indeed a great God send opportunity to enjoy such lovely scenes and it did make me happy...

Ok who am I kidding, I was forced to wake up! Godamit! I hate waking up in the morning, it's been like two whole years since I last woke up in the morning for my 8 am classes. My 'irreplaceable' housemate came back from the hometown and I had to ride 10 miles in the cold morning to pick him up.

As I was riding my bike on the winding road towards the bus stop, I noticed a whole bunch of people, all happy faces, on the same road going to someplace I guess important to them. Then I realized that all of them have a job, and they need to get up to survive in this big world. Waking up in the morning is such a hard task for me, I've been averaging 10 am to 11 am for the past year. Its so hard that for the past 1 month I've been sleeping at 7 am in the morning and waking up at 2 or 3 pm. I just hope its not a disease. I guess waking up early does have its advantages but I simply cant do it.

That one day, was quite a revelation to me. I did feel what all Daywalkers feel waking up early and leaving to work. The sunshine, the cool morning weather, birds chirping (if you live in the outskirts of the town), the whole breakfast thing and of course feeling fresh for the rest of the day. After picking him up, we went to Sri Paandi's (an Indian restaurant) and I had a nice idli-sambhar breakfast with Bru coffee. Indeed, after that, my mood changed and I felt warm and all nice inside and actually felt better the whole day. I tried and failed to repeat the same feat the next day. I figured the only way for me to wake up in the morning again, ever, is to get a job.

Tell me folks, what are the nice things you experience when you wake up early?

I can tell you all the cool stuff of sleeping late and waking up way way late in the afternoon. While most people out there go to bed at 11 pm or 12, my day just starts then. I make a huge mug of coffee or tea and sit in front of the TV and laze around until about 2 am channel surfing. There is definitely nothing nice on at that time, except maybe on MTV. You get to see all those num-nuts in the States, go room raiding, have their stupid over hyped sweet 16, and then there's this pimp da bloody car thing and...yada yada yada... So comes 2 am, refill the mug, get a good book, any book and read a chapter, then do the same with 5 other books. I tried to read only one book at a time, but I have this big 'Oh the cover looks so good, the book must be good' syndrome so I borrow a lot of them. Hence I have to try em all... Then comes 4 am, turn on the PC, write some poetry, type some blog posts to be posted the next day, while listening to music and then do some Photoshopping (my latest interest (everything rhymes) ). After that when it's almost 6 am (by this time, you can hear all those people waking up to go to school, work, etc. When you live in an apartment, you seldom miss anything, you hear, see and smell everything! I'm starting to miss home) you take out your DVD's and watch your favorite Sci-Fi movie for the 1000th time. Then comes 8 or 9 am when you finally hit the sack. It's nice I tell you, everyone's welcome to try the routine.

Now, I don't know what else to write, to summarize the whole thing, its a good experience waking up early in the morning, I would love to do it everyday, but I cant. I need to change some routines, but I'm afraid I wont be able to do the things I like. Where is the solution?
[-] Song of the week: Killing Me Softly (by The Fugees)
[-] Tamil Song of the week: Orunaal ( Album: Anthimantharai, Composer: ARRahman)

[+] And this happened while you're asleep, if you don't watch TV, or you're in Malaysia and the bloody channel pulled off Letterman after 8 years!. Possibly the biggest thing to happen on TV this year! and yes, the CBS website was down the whole day; [OprahOnTheLateNightShowWithDaveLetterman]. For a more indepth look at the whole issue;[OprahDave]. The anticipation;[OprahDave]. The official CBS news;[OprahDave]
[+] CheckOut this cool blog;[AstroMail], via Nayan.

Have a nice weekend folks! Hugs and lots of Loveeeeeee...
(do read my psot below of the 7 things tag, Thank you...)

7 Reasons on why I have no life...

CBT tagged me with this cool one. I think ive done it before, ahh yes, ive copied most of what Visi wrote last here's a fresh try.

7 things I plan to do before I die (and meet the Big Guy, I want to have some stories to tell him you know):

(1) Write a book, I so damn really want to! ( I've started some outlines, need to clear my mind to do this properly, but I'll do it soon. Only poems thus far I guess)
(2) Get married, have kids and be a great dad. ( I tell everyone I don't want to get married)
(3) Live and die in India. (I feel I need to return where I can identify with my culture)
(4) Ride the Trans-Siberian Express (either this or ride the whole Route 66 on an Indian)
(5) Volunteer to go to Mars (and its not an impossible thing; 4 Frontiers)
(6) Act in a Steven Spielberg movie. (as MC said, I would like to try Shankar too)
(7) Be alive to make first contact. (I think its possible)

7 things I can do, even when I don't know why I want to do it or can do it.

(1) Cook (mine suck too MC, but I'm majoring in pasta nowadays)
(2) Write poetry (some people say my poems suck, but I like it)
(3) Stay awake for 3 whole days and still be alive. (I did this early this year).
(4) Being clumsy (very) (Its true!)
(5) Be a genius sometimes (and it lasts like 5 minutes) ( I wanna be a genius dude, not a genius blogger!)
(6) Bend over my back, balance the earth on one hand, do something for somebody free, and still feel fine when they don't say thank you, don't pay me, ignore me... I have this thing happening in me that makes me feel I'm the greatest dude on earth.
(7) Give 2 chances to anyone to screw-up and still be their friend. (sometimes maybe 3, unless im desperate or lonely I'll ignore their misdeeds).

7 things I cannot do, I tried and failed, I don't want to...

(1) Wake up in the morning
(2) Excercise (coz im Fat, my cloths are not fitting, and im getting depresed everyday)
(3) Finish my MSc Thesis (its been 3 1/2 years now...) ( I will this semester, if they dont kick me out first)
(4) Sing and Dance
(5) Fall in love (the feeling disappears in 30 minutes)
(6) Park the car (without freaking out anyone) ( did not kill anyone yet)
(7) Be nice to anyone after their 2 chances are used up.

7 things that attracts me to another person (things as in?)...

(1) Honesty
(2) Dark hair
(3) A Sci-Fi buff
(4) A Mustang 2005
(5) Have a billion bucks and wants to change the world
(6) Blue eyes (light brown skin and dark hair)
(7) Can sing and dance

7 things I say most often ( and make people hate me)...

(1) "Stop lying!" (stop bullsh****g)
(2) "Macha, I think were lost" (Dude, I think I f****d up and were lost)
(3) "No! NO! NOOOOOO!" (to myself and never to anyone else, I suck!)
(4) "It wont happen" (for any suggestions my friends bring up)
(5) "Damn!, it's him/ her"
(6) "Dude, can I bank in the rent next week" (for the past 3 years, on the first and second week of the month, every month. To my house-owner, he was my uni-mate too.)
(7) "I need money" (to myself, and the rest of the world, all the time)

7 souls who has lots of other important things to do but I still want to tag them...

(3) MONA
(5) I could not find another 3 who haven't done this...will update as it goes...

-gP2005- via -JacobDeems-

Wednesday, November 30

Blackwood Hills; Shadows

Blackwood Hills; Shadows

Reminiscent of a sunset,
Fascinating moments parts asunder,
A solitary crystal droplet,
Veiled amid leaves in slumber

In the shallow background, formless,
Against a Blackwood tree,
Flickers golden lights, boundless,
Weaving through them shadows spree
The last vestiges of light,
Fades slowly akin watery ripples
And soon from the moonlight,
Columns of shadow dances

The trees of Blackwood so grand,
Blanketing the hills in worship,
In facing the rays, shadows blend,
It’s a union beautiful as friendship

One dreams of tomorrows,
In this mystifying forest hills,
Will there still be shadows,
For even the sun waits in stills

In the memories of poets exist,
They who witnessed majestic times,
Why imagine of tomorrows geist,
When tonight we can build infinities.

Monday, November 28

Ashgabat Adventures

As the days pass, and you get older, nothing seems to be the same anymore. You meet new people and make new friends. You travel the world and marvel at humanities achievements. When you look back at the glory days of your childhood and you wonder how fast time has drifted from you. Yesterday is almost history in every sense. The world is moving too fast and were all playing catch-up.
All your friends are gone scattered around the world and only the occasional email reminds you of them. The world is a smaller place today thanks to the TV and of course airplanes. Somedays you never know who'll dial you up from some faraway country. Yesterday while I was with Bob and Anu, our buddy MJV called all the way from Ashgabat, Turkmenistan. Yes Turkmenistan, the country that borders Iran, Afganistan, Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan. Recalling back, I think he's the remotest friend I have in this planet.
Do any of you have friends in faraway places. Maybe in Alaska, the poles or the Sahara? Please buzz me.
Is it our destiny to travel the world? The world today makes a nomad out of every one of us. Even in the blogworld we read and interact with hundreds of bloggers who left their hometowns and countries to seek a better life, education or simply to travel. I think its the idea of meeting new people and culture that motivates us to travel. Sometimes even on a short ride from my hometown to KL, I can sense the difference in emotions and the whole feeling of being somewhere new. I insist to my friends whenever we drive back, to use the old roads that wind through the country rather than the highways simply because there's much more to see and do. Passing through towns and cities full of life and seeing people going through their daily life gives us a reason to be alive and happy. There's beauty and amazing people everywhere.
If humanities greatest achievements are building civilizations, then the appreciation for that civ must come from travelers who enter their cities. In the near future we will see more people traversing the world for various reasons. Were heading towards a borderless world, or maybe we already have ushered in one. Ultimately its a cultural experience. Who we meet and what we experience be it a new language, song or a festival will determine the survival of the culture and in the end us. Experience the world. Make friends and take lots of photos!
[+] CIA factfile on Turkmenistan
[+] The LonelyPlanet guide to Turkmenistan
****** a poetic origin ******
Blackwood Hills, part II

Vikings them men, rowing silently,
Trashing through the winter sea,
Of land we never thougt will see,
Scattered with graves eerily alone,
And crying orphans left to die,

As the shores greet us its hand,
All will and men tried to stand,
Bare and isolated my will and yours,
We lost everything yesterday love,
to the crashing sea, the sad horizon,

Now we're not alive and dont belong,
Trust me, hold me messenger of God,
How this journey came ending my lord,
I lived a life of love and suffering,
My dreams were abandoned ages along.
Of that lone tree standing solitary,
Among the hills of Blackwood,
Punishing me for the sins of all,
But I'm a person and shes my love,
Have mercy mighty soldier for today.
Now we all stand here together,
In front of this lord of doom,
Have we had a long journey,
Forever in love and learning life,
I wish leaving wont be so early.
[+] Marks figures and toys collection are featured in EternalCollectors! Congratulation Mark. Read his interview here;[MarkTalks] and see his collection here;[MarkToys]
[+] If you guys like shortmovies here a cool group for you to watch and download shortmovies; [FilmGeneration]

Saturday, November 26

Bob in The Big City: The Big Debut

(this blog has been hacked by Bob!)

Hello all...Ghost has been pathetic this whole week/ month/ year/ so I wanted to cheer him up. We stayed up all night and made this supercool plane model...

(B-17F Flying Fortress)

Just like planes, ready to fly,

Just that we don't have them, runways.


****** GP ******

Give me back me blog! Look whose getting all poetic... Get your hairy hands of the keyboard!

(Source: Wikipedia B17F Entry)

Ok, abit more of the model, its a B17F Flying Fortress, that flew over Germany in WWII on some not so friendly missions. We made them Nazi's run anyway! The model has about 80+ parts to it. The rest of the images can be viewed in my PhotoBlog; [TransitTamils].

-gP2005- -Bob-

Thursday, November 24

North Season

Hello all, How are you? Did your day start well today? Did it end well yesterday? Did you meet a friend? Did you say hi to your neighbor? Did you notice the season passing by? Did you notice the leaves falling of the tree in your backyard? Did you sit down and enjoy the beautiful morning? Did you kiss your wife today? Did you hug your kids today? I did not do any of those.

Have you seen a person dying? Have you stood beside a person on his deathbed and realized you cant cry even though you loved him so much? Did you see the child shot dead by the roadside in some far away country yesterday? Did you stop to listen to the youth shouting "I hate you world!" incestantly yesterday? From the seats on the bus you were traveling, did you notice the blind man getting in, and no one helped him? Have you seen her cry and sink into depression a few years back? Do you smell and feel the polluted world? Did you throughout the years witness the teenagers taking drugs, fighting, rotting? Have you seen the sadness in a father's eye when his son failed his exams? Have you seen the sadness in a daughters eye when her mother disowns her? Have you ever been depressed so deeply that you cant move your body? Have you been so sad and wanted to cry so badly buy you cant everytime you want to.? Have you experienced the fear of your own shadows? Have you tried to write something only to be stuck in a neverending cycle of words flashing every second in your brain but you're helpless trying to write them down.? Do you pray to God every minute every second of they day wishing that everything will go well for your family? Have you been dead and born again? Have you been alive and felt dead? I have felt all this. No words can convey the feelings of sorrow or depression. No words. I'm unable to close my eyes and ears to the tragedy of everyday life. I try hard to, but I cant. I tried to run and hide, but I failed.

Do open your eyes someday, oneday and notice the real world out there. There might be people who needs help, there might be people on the verge of killing themselves, you maybe their only salvation. Yes, my posts do bring flavors of darkness and depression, but I'm just conveying my true feelings and sometimes I want to ignore all those sadness but my fingers wont let me. Sometimes I feel I'm not the one who needs help. I'm still alive. There are millions out there, lurking, drifting in this world called Internet, hiding from their past, hiding their true emotions, hiding their face, trying to relive and revive their lives. They might be your friends, your family. Encourage them to stand up, and live.


[-] Have a nice weekend, mine started early, like always.

[+] Bob didn't like the the way I portrayed my friends in my previous posts, so he wants his own column here. Wait for the debut of 'Bob In The Big City' soon!

[-] Do read my post below, it's a long hard one, and it took time to write.

Wednesday, November 23

A House for Mr. Ghost: Part 3, Goblets of Desire

~ Chapter 1 ~

The journey of a science student opens new paradigms in the life of the student mainly the change of the mindset, critical views of the field and also relationships with fellow scientist. Of course the main goal or desire is to seek answers. I say scientist because being a graduate student I’m already a ‘qualified’ researcher and physicist. (This is another proven method to raise confidence and ‘share experiences’). And with it comes responsibilities. The common goal is to hunt for answers and understand the dynamic universe. Of many reasons on why the answers are searched for, the most important would be for the betterment of humanity at large. There are certain codes on how scientist work and mature. I like to view them as the rules of science for humans. In truth and in practice, science and the scientist should never create a gap of knowledge between the laymen and themselves.

Certainly there are individual traits for every scientist out there. I am a dreamer and the passions for science brought me this far. The answers that I seek concerns the beginning of the universe itself and the roles we play in this dynamic tapestry. As I mentioned in the second part, to summarize my journey thus far as a scientist is a disappointment. I failed to find the keys to the broader mechanics of science. Most of the time I just give up because I don’t know how to move forward and I don’t have anyone to guide me. Of course the desire to seek the meanings of life and our existence in this universe sounds romantic at its best but knowing where to look is the key to survival. Looking back at the comments for the second part, an interesting issue came about. Is it true then that scientists are ignorant of obvious answers lying about and go forth worshiping the impossible? Is this ignorance on purpose or innocent? My reasoning would be that answers don’t stay the same. Even though we venture for the best possible answer in science, its stays a noble desire in concept.

A theory and its following observation must serve true for every possible repeat of the same experiment and observation. If we equate observation with answers then in a certain timeframe the observations will change. So does the answers then. What is a (or the) best answer in that case? I think it’s more of a ‘spiritual’ issue. In science, any new observation will face heavy scrutiny and if the experimenter fails to record a detailed experiment, then immediately the observation will be deemed questionable. Only a detailed record will enable the repetition of the experiment and finally it being accepted into mainstream science. Now comes in the believers. We are generally the fans of such theorems and concepts. We’re connected to the idea and we defend it fiercely, it’s almost like were connected spiritually. That’s the kind of desire that is needed from a scientist. Einstein often referred to an entity called the old one. It’s often interpreted as the creator hence the notion of Einstein believing in God, a thorny issue for scientists. I believe that the only spiritual connection would be between humans as the observer and the laws of the universe as the force of life. It’s a link that you must feel when you look at the sky and venture deep into science.

So now, if every scientist out there has his or her own interpretation of the laws of the universe, how do we seek the best answer? We can’t, because as observers, we have a choice only to experience every finding in science and not dictate the existence of it. It’s simple, because once an observation is made, then it stands true that it happened and it’s happening in the universe bound by the laws of physics. Can we agree now that there is no such thing as the best answer but only varied answers and all that answers must be true because it happens? Now also we realize that the real importance is not of answers, but the pattern of the question we ask. If we ask the questions that affects the traits of our personal life or our small circle of existence then we would be satisfied with the answers that we get. But for scientists, we seek to venture into the unknown, and then we get amazing answers that satisfy us without provoking fear. That’s the world view of a scientist, by expecting the universe; we are able to absorb more. Hence again the myriad observations, and the problems of comprehending everything that would eventually create problems for young researchers who doesn’t know where to tread. I think I’m stuck in this position. I see a lot and experience a lot but I fail to connect them together. The only assuring thing is that there is no single unified theory, yet, in this world so I guess every other scientist has the same problem, they just don’t show it.

~ Chapter 2 ~

The goblets of desire exist everywhere. All of them are open to observers, experimenters, builders, travelers, shamans, you and me. You can choose to pick one or two and live the rest of your lives learning from it and being content. You can choose an extra few to learn more skills and then teach it to others. But let me assure you, secondhand knowledge creates troubled mind, because at one extreme you want to feel and touch the real goblet. In another extreme you don’t know whether youre traveling on the correct road. Maybe you won’t know at all. Each goblet holds new knowledge, experience and wonders. Sometimes a few goblets might appear to edify the same concept and ideas but in a dynamic universe, no one goblet is the same. When you come upon a goblet, be it when you’re a kid or when you’re growing up or when you’re old, there will be a desire in you to feel it. If you’re intelligent you might be able to realize it early and utilize it fully. If you’re ignorant, then you will loose the grip and loose out ultimately. But don’t worry, if you happen to meet a scientist along the way, be nice to him or her, they might show you another and another and it goes on. You must realize that you’re part of the dynamic universe and collectively contribute to the entropy or information.

You’ve read this much, you’re not a scientist, but you realize that you’ve chanced upon a few goblets in your life and managed to learn from it, understand it and explain it. In truth, everyone is a scientist, because everyone is an observer. Remember of the confidence building I mentioned earlier. A name gives you a unique identity, so does a title. The universe doesn’t discriminate names or titles, they’re just more information. But the universe does open up and reveal its secrets to good observers. Finally, is there a goblet fated for you? Maybe, again, we might know to some extend how the universe works, but not why the universe exists. I believe that the question of why has no answer. The goblet carries important legends of the universe. If there’s one fated for you but you fail to find it, will it remain a secret forever? I asked the question about Einstein here; [PBS, Whats the Big Idea] and found that every question will be answered by someone eventually. It’s just possibilities and a whole lot of hard work.

(End of part 3. The journey continues…)

****** a poetic origin ******
Raindrops On A Window, Part 1
The rule of line,
Memories in decline,
Half mast flags,
Soldiers in body bags
Red, blue and white,
Another epic strike,
From Tiananmen to Baghdad,
Countless freedom fought hard
Brown faces under the moonlight,
Listening to stories in delight,
Wandering poets preaching,
Of ages violently decaying.

* Raindrops On A Window is a collection of random ideas and thoughts in verse form. My first poem collection, Timescapes, Book 1 will be available for download in pdf form next week.
[+] I wont be updating until next week, been reworking the CosmicCode project into the CosmicCode Institute. Another milestone in this long journey.
[+] Postsecret's book will be available on Nov 29 Worldwide. Visit them for more details;[PostSecret]

Ghost Tags: , ,

Tuesday, November 22

On a rainy Tuesday night at an expensive cybercafe

Came for an important email, then got stuck here of rain, and nothing comes to mind, so here's a collection of good quotes for life.

[-] 'The aim of life is to live, & to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.' - Henry Miller

[-] 'It's amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.' - Harry S. Truman

[-] 'And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.' - Jerry Chin

[-] 'Accept the things that fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.' - Marcus Aurelius

[-] 'The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.' - Maureen Dowd

[-] When the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems begin to resemble nails.' -Abraham Maslow

[-] Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.' Wilson Mizner

[-] 'The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.' - William Shakespeare

[-] 'Everyone has something ancestral, even if it is nothing more than a disease.' - Ed Howe

[-] Too low they build who build below the skies.' - Edward Young


P/s: Part 3 of the Mr.Ghost chronicles will come soon.

[+] Postsecret's book will be available on Nov 29 Worldwide. Visit them for more details;[PostSecret]

Thursday, November 17

A House For Mr Ghost: Part 2; The Chronicles of a Science Graduate Student, Wardrobe and all.

Nobody said it would be easy. Nobody experienced it easy. Most of the 'soldiers' are wounded in this 'divine' battle. Some just gave up. You risk everything and most of the time you don't achieve anything important. At the time you decided to jump into this, some asked you not to. Some encouraged you. The world waited. Some decisions are to be made carefully after weighing in all the problems and possibilities. This kind of serious decisions are not to be made in a rush or lets just say in the heat of the moment.
After a while you realize the fire has burned out and you're left there hanging precariously on edge of the deep canyon. And at this time, you blame it on laziness and ignorance. Science is observations. How do you know you're interested or not. If you look at Einstein and the only thought that comes into mind is to recommend a good hair stylist to him, then you're not up to it. If the big bad world doesn't excite you then you're not a science person. You must be intrigued and pulled towards the infite universe. You must think big and ask stupid silly questions that makes you not get a girlfriend but may ultimately win you a noble prize. The risk, the risk is death. Death of your social life, death of the Mercedes Benz you want to buy, death of that high flying jetsetting job around the world. Science is professional suicide. Atleast in the professional world of business and economy. So I did dream then and am still dreaming of those big questions and the romantic life of an underpaid, overworked, social outcase a physicist/ scientist live.

After a few semesters (or years) you go there and sit infront of your supervisor and you confess. You did nothing, you accumulated nothing and your future is illuminated by a 30 watt bulb. You're scared whether you'll be able to finish this semester, you're afraid of even completing anything. And to no surprise the supervisor is terrified but tries very hard to appear calm. And then he says he cant say anything anymore. He's disappointed. You make him loose his trust in you. Now you're really lost. The future is indeed bleak. The one person who can make you feel better is having doubts on you. But he gives you another chance in proving yourself. So it goes the legend that a scientist will always help another scientist in dire moments.

You come back and sit to think. Being a graduate student or living a life of a graduate student is just like any other journey. It needs good planning and discipline. But always remember not to confine the research in the plan. Plan the way of life and plan the methods. The mind should always be free to wander and create ideas. So where does everything go wrong. For any struggling student would say its all in the priorities. How do you arrange you time to satisfy all your needs. And then comes the feedback. You can't crusade alone knowing there are wolves along the way. So now we need a good support group. If you don't stumble upon one, you create one. A small solid group who can discuss the depth of science and the intricacies of the next Harry Potter movie with you. And then ofcourse you need a home. A scientist cant ever live with his family. Family and relatives would never understand the logics of a 26 year old or a 30 year old who doesn't own a car, a house, not married and for that matter not have a job. You can't explain relativity to them or make them read Einstein. It might work for a few minutes if you say you will become famous and come out in the news if you win the noble prize or something, but in the GreatBig family dictionary, a scientist comes parallel to a bum.

And so starts the never ending story of a struggling science graduate student. More to come in future installments. (Preview of future parts; how to choose your research and how to make money! to save your ass while studying.)

****** point of origin ******

[-] Congratulations to Vijayndran and Chitra on their marriage on the 18th of November 2005 in SP. May this holy union be blessed for eternity.

[-] Congratulations to all the Indian students from Tamil Schools and National Schools who made history this year for the best ever results in the 2005 UPSR (primary school) examinations. May your achievement inspire future generations of Indians in this country to aspire and reach for the sky.

[+] The Airbus A380 is currently in KLIA Malaysia. If you're free, you can head to Sepang and catch the giant live!. Tomorrow (friday) morning from 8.30 to about 10.00 am, the A380 would make a low flypast around Putrajaya, Subang and the KLCC. Don't miss it!
[-] The consciousness post is still open for comments. Please read the post below. Thank you.

Have a wonderful weekend. (it came early to me...sigh...)


Tuesday, November 15


I finally watched the movie 'What The Bleep Do We Know' yesterday and an interesting question came into mind. Do you still remember your first instance of consciousness? When did you first realize you're alive? I vaguely remember my first ever memory on this earth was waking up one morning and seeing the sun rays through the window. I cant remember what age I was then but that could possibly be the moment I 'found' consciousness and became aware of the world. Many issues and theories were dissected in the movie, with Quantum theory being the main idea behind that unique venture.

There could be a multitude of divine or religious interpretations behind consciousness, but in the past decade or so, science was able to provide many answers to the creation of reality which arises for being conscious. What is consciousness really? Wikipedia terms consciouness as a state of being self aware or more deeply sentience. Being alive and realizing you are alive and have the ability to comprehend the world and universe. Its an abstract idea that may read simple but proves very hard to grasp scientifically.

[-] This is my Tag to everyone who reads this post. What is your first ever memory of being alive and do you still remember the day?

[+] The Center for Consciouness

[+] Do watch the movie 'What The Bleep Do We Know'. Its an unique docu-drama that asks and aswers intelligent questions and ideas by explaining the quantum world and consciouness in a very layman manner. And it packs a great cast of scientist and other big thinkers who explains the universe in an enjoyable take at a science culture that's reinventing itself and moves away from mainstream religious interpretations towards a more human centric observer whose given the God status.

[+] 1979? Whats the Bl@#$ is that? Well, 1979 is the year I was born in. I was at the checkout counter at the local KFC with my buddy Bob buying some Zinger Burgers (the best damn chicken burger in the world) when the total came to 1979 and I snapped it. It's a special year and I know a lot of bloggers born on this year. So here's a toast for all the bloggers born in 1979. Its been a great 26 years. And its been great sharing our lives with millions of other bloggers. And no I'm not stopping from blogging, just to let everyone know what a historic year 1979 was and what legendary people was born then. Hehehe. :-p

****** a poetic origin ******
Wasteland Recreated I

On the road to Moscow,
Walking by a nightmare wasteland,
Passing a weeping Willow,
Praying a journey to Graceland.


Blackwood Hills, Part I

On the Blackwood hills,
We stood a beacon in the fog,
Learning the passing seasons,
Dreaming of the world tomorrow.


[+] 2050 is update! Please read and link there too.

Have a wonderful week ahead!


Thursday, November 10

Poems and a Rainy Night.

We were Humans

Remember when we were humans,
Fearless soldiers in daylight battles,
Unrivalled lovers under the moonlit sky,
We were humans when we were dead before.

The Lost Nights

Remember the nights,
We circled the raging bonfire,
Our small legion of moonlight friends,
Sharing stories of lost nights.

The Daydreamers

During history on a hot morning,
Painting graffiti on school walls,
Secretly in love with mystery girls,
Building daydreams on wooden stilts.

The Amazing Stories

Among best friends,
With heartbreaking idyllic memories,
Reliving stories to the end of time.
We were brothers sometime yesterday.

The Rainy Season

Of course it ends this day,
Didn't it start in such season?
The blessed sky showering hope,
We were humans always on rainy nights.

****** book ii ******

Poetry Revisited

In the faint evening light,
I traced my masterpiece,
Cold depressed shadows appeared,
Brought to life by the solitary,
magical lamp.

Forcing my mind to float,
To fly away into foreign lands,
Grasping ideas and beautiful faces,
The unfocused soul wanders far,
sadly lost.

I set my sight on an old junk,
Sailing the infinite night sea,
Carrying a love message across destiny,
Trying to bind love across distance,
enchanted desires.

Stopping to find a reason,
On the smoldering battlefields of Germany,
Maybe I can engrave the stories of youth,
Yearning before dying for one last vision,
of mothers.

From the cliffs of Sintra,
I gaze into the derelict sea,
Tangled in the turbulent zephyr,
Dead souls of a catastrophic disaster amid,
dangerous seas.

I wondered in silence,
If anyone ever met the crazy clown,
Of the traveling Russian circus,
The one with white face and a large red nose,
a joke.

What nostalgia my travels bring,
Of memories and wonders from faraway,
Sadly my life story is incomplete,
Staying vigilant for one last stroke before,
my passing.


[-] "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain

[-] It rained cats and dogs (Persians and German shepherds, as Fred says) yesterday evening and drizzled the whole night. Funny, rain supposed to make us sleep all cozy and warm under the blanket, but I didn't. Too many things in my mind. Some serious stuff to think about, my future, my thesis and all. We do need friends after all, but not just any friend, we need someone who speaks our 'language' from time to time. Now I regret rushing into decisions and taking this journey alone. Physics is hard, and having no one to discuss it is harder. I just hope I can finish this semester. And get a job that I would enjoy doing not being forced into. There is hope for dreamers. Its just that that kind of hope doesnt come all that often.

[-] This is a reason to brag! Chris Muir who created the Day by Day strip commented on my blog! Its so cool. I feel HIGH!!!. Sigh...I get excited of everything. A true scientist. Wait, does this mean that he wont drop by anymore because I made a scene out of this...?

[+] Depha Methas final movie in the Elemental Trilogy, Water, is complete. Visit the official site;[Water] and view the trailer here;[Water-Trailer]

[+] "15 to 17 Years Old" Winner: "Chimpanzee Meditation"Wildlife Photographer of the Year Competition, 2005Natural History Museum, London, and BBC Wildlife Magazine On the final day of a three-week family vacation in Tanzania, Africa, 16-year-old Matthew Burrard-Lucas of the U.K. followed a group of about 40 chimpanzees in the Mahale Mountains. Spotting the alpha male, Burrard-Lucas edged closer on his stomach while “trying to ignore the angry safari ants that were crawling all over me.” “The alpha male was sitting on a tree trunk, staring at the forest canopy,” Burrard-Lucas said. “In the photo it appears as if he's looking into space, contemplating and relaxing.” “For now wildlife photography is a hobby, but it would be great if I could make a career out of it,” he added.
P/s: I have updated my previous post. Please read it to find conclusions for the lost keys and all.

Tuesday, November 8

A House for Mr.Ghost: Part I; What A Life!

[updated! - again]

[-] For the benefit of everyone who clicked on the tags, this is the post that started the whole MrGhost series!!!

[-] I was thinking of telling the lost key story in a post of it own. But here goes, the key was lost at the Puduraya Bus Terminal (in KL). So I told my evil housemate, to go ask the police counter whether they have and lost and found items. But surprise surprise, even the police counter was missing. Or maybe they moved somewhere else. So the guy went to the parking counter to reclaim the parking token for my bike. And thank God, the good Samaritan, (the parking booth operator) had kept the keys he found at the counter. Somethings not right here. Yes, the evil housemate left the damn keys on the parking counter and left! This is kind of anti-climax but that's the truth. So God Bless the Parking Operator.

[-] The 'Buddy-System' is a loose description of the state of friendship today. The real story is this, I have a set of friends. Even though we are all friends, deep down inside we all hate each other. Not to show the hate, because of obvious painful consequences, we hide it with usual buddy buddy stuff. We talk nice, mingle and all, but we do it once or twice a year. That too, to share gossips and stuff. And on why the notorious system is reminiscent of the UN security council is because of the veto powers it holds. Lets say Friend A screws Friend B. Friend B will go to the rest of the Friends circle and spread the word that Friend A badmouthed everyone. So now everyone hates Friend A and hes all alone. So as to not let this happen, we have the 'buddy-system', where we just tolerate everything, and then vent the anger at artificial things. And yes sometimes pets and plants. Its a sick society.

[-] Its amazing to know that my blog has a call update system. I update my blog, and my buddy gets a call to tell that I have updated my blog. Aint it cool. I love you guys. Va al infierno usted.

[-] Hey, I do look like Wesley Snipes in the photo. Actually its taken in the changing room with the lights at my back on my cell phone. So the picture quality is a bit low.

The Ghost is Back! I was away and been busy with loads of things. So here are the things that happened to me and around me for the past 4 weeks in descending order. Most of it wont make any sense, my life neither.

[-] My buddies car clocked 60,000 miles yesterday. That's an occasion because the car is only a year old. He mentioned that I probably contributed 10k miles myself. Yes, we traveled the whole of Malaysia the past year.

[-] Yesterday, Bob and Mr.Ghost came back to the big city after a long festive holiday. It was a terrible bus ride. To make matter worst, Bob, who promised to send me back home with his car, bailed out. He had to go to work and were already late when we arrived at the terminal. I had to carry 2 heavy bag all the way to the commuter station and stand all the way to my stop. Under the 'buddy-system' I am not suppose to scold him or be angry at him. Life sucks. (names are changed to protect animal rights)

[-] My roommate is Billa. Hes an idiot. Two days before Deepavali he came to see me at my house and told me that he lost my bike key. Along with my lab and office keys. Yes, you may as, what kind of idiot would leave all those keys. I did, in my room, so that it'll be safe. He took it and borrowed my bike without asking me. That's stupidity. And my Deepavali started to go down the drain. Sometimes I think my country has the highest concentration of stupid people in the world. Of course, Bush, beind the king of stupid people, overshadows them all. Life sucks more.

[-] I have another friend. His name is Notorious BIG. He's my childhood buddy. And he has a problem. Or maybe its me who has a problem. This guy, he does every single thing that's against the law. Everything. Stopping short of killing, flying a plane onto a building and/ or invading another country. Me being his buddy, and the 'buddy-system' in affect, could not do anything. He doesn't takes advice. And yes, he wont leave me or let me go.

[-] This might turn out to be a long post. Please take a tea break.

[-] Deepavali was ok. It would have been better if everything above did not happen. Had a huge BBQ on the 2nd day. Invited all my friends in the 'buddy-system'. And yes, we had a liquor party after that. At my house. So now my parents know, why I haven't finished my Msc or/ and my buddies real self. And I mixed a drink for my uncle. Somehow, no one acted normal to me after that day.

[-] Two weeks before Deepavali, I was working in my buddies sweet and D'vali goodies store. Its called the 'Laddu Sweet Corner' and we opened it 10 days before D'vali. It was a smash hit. Ill post more pics of it soon. So my buddy trusted me with the shop while hes goes around doing something that looks important. I ate alot of sweets in the shop without him knowing. It was a sweet D'vali.

[-] I have an imaginary girlfriend. That's her picture. Shes amazing. Shes beautiful. She doesn't call, talk or write. She doesn't sms and she doesn't even come in my dreams. For a matter of fact, she doesn't even exist. (The image is not drawn by me, its from a Tamil weekly, reproduced without permission. Thank you.)

[-] One of the theories that explains the state of the universe is called 'Inflationary Lambda Cold Dark Matter Model'. And I thought my life was complex.

[-] MjV headed for Turkmenistan last Saturday. This could be a year long trip. I pray to God he has a safe trip.

[-] My good buddy Roslan got married last Friday. I wish him many more happy returns of the day. Another of my school buddies got married on the same day too. I wish Yogesh a happy married life. Another two bites the dust. I shall remember the fallen heroes for eternity.

[-] A House for Mr.Ghost will be a series that chronicle the painful, happy, sad, ugly, complex, life of me, Gp, the one and only. And yes, that's me in the picture. That's an Adidas turtle neck body fit long sleeve shirt that I tried on. But Mr.Notorious BIG did not like it. So, because of the freakin 'buddy-system' I did not buy it. But I liked it so much. You can see my sad face there with that ugly big nose. I hate myself. Ok I dont hate myself, maybe I hate my friends.

[+] This is a great innitiative taking shape in the states; [$100 LapTop]



it rains around the world sleep welcomes the dream, and  enigmatic souls awaken along the eternal shores of destiny